Texas Rep. Joe Barton, who's more or less an employee of the oil industry, delivered an incredible statement to comical BP CEO Tony Hayward this morning, apologizing for the White House's $20 billion dollar "shakedown" fund.

[Obama met with BP executives at the White House earlier this evening, after spending the past 58 days playing golf and hanging out with Bono.] (via White House Flickr)

Scandal! Republican operatives have obtained Barack Obama's personal planner and leaked it in a new attack ad. It appears that the only thing Obama did during the oil spills' 58 days was hang out with celebrities and golf!

BP CEO and "guy who's fun to yell at" Tony Hayward will testify in Congress tomorrow! Sucks to be him. His only strategy: make the panel cry with a depressing, hammy opening statement, a window into his prison of despair.

[BP CEO Tony Hayward, along with various other BP chairmen, presidents, executives and counsels, enter the White House for their first meeting with Barack Obama. A very tense Rose Garden press conference will take place around 12:15. Image via AP.]

BP CEO Tony Hayward, the guy who's so much fun to yell at, has finally made it big! He'll meet Barack Obama on Wednesday, at the White House, before his big congressional "grilling" on Thursday. Tony knows all the bigshots!

[With investors afraid of Barack Obama's new found anger, BP's share price dropped another 11% in early trading on the London FTSE. BP says, "The company is not aware of any reason which justifies this share price movement." Image: AP]

This oil spill thing has people heated! And BP CEO Tony Hayward… what a dickhead. Oh, but remember Goldman Sachs? That filthy rich, monolithic investment banking monster that basically destroyed the global economy? Yeah. Who do you hate more?

It's been one month since the Deepwater Horizon oil rig blew up, and oil is still leaking at an astonishing rate. Entire state economies might be crushed, and whole ecosystems wiped out. So whose fault is it?