Charlie Sheen's life is like a gossip feedback loop. It's a never-ending cycle of drugs, floozies, domestic squabbles, and arrests. Adding to the strange repetition are that his cars are regularly being driven off cliffs. Why does this keep happening?

Last night Hollywood's disgraceful frat boy older brother Charlie Sheen called the cops to say his Mercedes was stolen. At the same time, it's On-Star device called the po-po to say the car was wrecked. Only we know what happened.