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New York, 1:57 AM
Fri Nov 27
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Dot Dot
    01:34 AM

    In reply to Give Us Your Best Thanksgiving Horror Stories

      And now a break in the horror for a puppy picture.
     Reply
    Edited by Dot at 11/27/09 1:35 AM Dot was starred Dot was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    12:55 AM

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    When the relatives get you down, just close your eyes and imagine "Turkey Lurkey Time" in your head. Before you know it, a smile will slowly spread across your face, and then your head will start to bob rhythmically ...
     Reply
    Edited by MisterHippity at 11/27/09 12:57 AM MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of Dot Dot
    12:26 AM

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling
    My brush with (the Wal-Mart, Black Friday) death:
    Because of hangovers and still being awake, and after a vicious T-giving fest with my family, my manfriend and I decided to check out the 5 a.m. extravaganza at Wallyworld. Incipient brain death was our only excuse, not only for being at Black Friday, but for being at (for fuck's sake) Wal-Mart at all, ever. After pulling up in the car and viewing the inbred, wild-eyed, ravenous crowd huddled together in a seething mass of undulating hell, we said "Fuck, no", and left to go get pancakes.
     Reply
    Dot was starred Dot was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    When it comes to healthcare, I just tell my GOP relatives that my most-recent doctor has opted out of all HMOs. He sent a letter telling everyone he can't make a living off of denied coverage, and is now going on a "consierge" system. Ha! If he gets me theater tickets and a hooker, I'll agree to the $1000 a year price.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of nicepony nicepony
    11/26/09

    In reply to White House Party Crashers Are Awesome, Sad
    calla lilies. people like them always like
    calla lilies.
     Reply
    nicepony was starred nicepony was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/26/09

    In reply to Meet the Hot Boyfriend David Geffen Took to Obama's State Dinner
    28,299... pretty close
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of tunamelt tunamelt
    11/26/09

    In reply to Give Us Your Best Thanksgiving Horror Stories
    Let's do this again for Christmas. I have great ones for Christmas.
     Reply
    tunamelt was starred tunamelt was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    12:56 AM

    @tunamelt: Yes, me too, me too!!!
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    Had I gone home to the heartland, I would have been surrounded by 25 family members, including some from the family my nephew married into, the matriarch of which availed herself of the sanctuary movement after Reagan-sponsored death squads assassinated her boss, RC Archbishop Oscar Romero. She brought 2 kids, had another once she arrived -- illegally -- in Ann Arbor. The daughter she had after she arrived here is married to my brother's middle son; the daughter she left El Salvador with is engaged to his older brother.

    Now...those nephews older step-brother is Michael, who came under another person's identity from the killing fields of Cambodia, also during the 80s, also illegally. He and his wife have 4 kids and a growing -- due to immigration -- extended family. He is a small business owner, the class of people Republicans have now nominated as The Most Important People In America. He makes a Pad Thai that will burn your eyebrows off.

    Without illegal immigration, that party would be half empty.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    The Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer is awesome, if deeply and unapologetically cynical. It's a great complement to this comment thread.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Aidan_ Aidan_
    11/26/09

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling
    I was dragged to a Black Friday sale at a Circuit City by my yuppy cousin two years ago. Never again. Online shopping and excursions to the mall in mid-December for me, thanks.
     Reply
    Aidan_ was starred Aidan_ was unstarred
    Image of flossy flossy
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    At my Thanksgiving dinner we had, among others: my quasi-aunt who loves Jesus so much she writes Bible verses on everything, like wrapping paper and grocery lists, my cadre of Jewish relatives, some so observant they show up after dinner because we don't keep kosher, my aunt from Mali, who just loves Obama, as well as my Lebanese aunt who is happy to tell anyone who will listen that Hezbollah gets a bad rap.

    And nobody fought about politics! Probably because despite all our differences, we are all pinko fags at heart.
     Reply
    flossy was starred flossy was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/26/09

    @flossy: Can I come to next year's dinner? I play well with others and this sounds like my dream family.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Swifter Swifter
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    On Thanksgiving days of yore, the officers would wear their dress blues and bring their families to the mess hall to eat with the troops. Politics were not discussed, but the various attributes of the officers' daughters were debated at length and with vigor among we young enlisted men.

    Then, I became an officer, wore my dress blues and ate at the mess hall where the various attributes of the senior officers' daughters were debated at length and with vigor among the young lieutenants. And then we would ship out and kill people.

    Happy Thanksgiving!
     Reply
    Edited by Swifter at 11/26/09 7:09 PM Swifter was starred Swifter was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    11/26/09

    @Swifter: Now that's civilized.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of Atilla the Bun Atilla the Bun
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    Have your relatives over to your house and cook them a vegan Thanksgiving dinner. They'll be bitching about the food so much they won't have the time or the energy to talk about politics.
     Reply
    Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    11/26/09

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling
    If you get caught wearing a Walmart uniform you will lose your health benefits no matter where you work.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of jordos1 jordos1
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    I always look forward to my brother's spittle spewing, red faced, ultra neocon rants, freshly regurgitated from his lunch hour listening to Rush Limbaugh. I would try some of these methods, but dead legs and telling him he is losing his hair seems to shut him up more than adequately.
     Reply
    Edited by jordos1 at 11/26/09 4:47 PM jordos1 was starred jordos1 was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/26/09

    @jordos1: Neocon reframe: "That's not a bald spot. It's a solar panel for a love machine."
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of jordos1 jordos1
    11/26/09

    @Lysergic Asset: Exactly, you see, hair plugs are far too expensive to implement, and the technology doesn't even exist yet.
     Reply
    jordos1 was starred jordos1 was unstarred
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