There are a lot of jokes here and it's really fucked up. This poor man was terrorized and sexually assaulted. Is it funny because he's Asian? Or is it because he's a man? Because no 'real' man would ever allow himself to be in this position, so Mr. Tong must be a figure of fun. And shame on Gawker for publishing the photo of an assault victim. Hasn't this man been violated enough?
My mother used to say that "marriage is basically legalized prostitution" and that if she hadn't had kids, she never would have bothered getting married.
Brian this is awesome, but how in the hell you did it I do not know. It would take me 5,000 words to recap the first 10 minutes. I took Nyquil and was out at 11 but I was able to watch rest tonight because last night with my last bit of strength and consciousness I pressed record.
My fave quotes from the last hour:
I was going to Jerry Springer her ass
It only takes 9 lbs of pressure to break a nose
Don't let the spike hair fool you
The Situation tells me that we might have a situation
I am sorry sweetheart, I apologize for this broad right here
@adiam7: Don't forget Angie Jolie Trash-Balls' "I'm a c*ckblocker, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! If you're a whore, you deserve to be abused!"
@snugbug: The delusion of these broads mixed with the self-awereness of the guys is such a rare mix. I am really mad at MTV now for not doing that Staten Island show
I just got through this on DVR.. Having not watched MTV in over 10 years, I'm blown away by the delicious excellence of this show.
Kudos to Brian for a fab recap, and extra brownie points for dubbing Sammy "Sweatheart" a "Helen of Troy" type..
This epic trash-fest totally reminded me of the narrative arc of the Iliad: Men fight over women; women are capricious and disloyal; everyone suffers from hubris; no one ever SHUTS UP.
I almost died when I saw the trash bags. Seriously? She didn't have a duffel bag or gym bag? Hell, even a back pack or one of those mesh laundry hamper bags would have been better. Snookie is either an actress or mentally unstable drunk. Either way she's entertaining.
They have only been in the house for like 2 days, and I wouldn't go in that hot tub without wearing anything less than a full hazmat suit.
@heywhat: ..Or as DJ Pauly (was it him? The guy who spends "30 minutes every day" gelling his hair into shape) put it so sensibly: "Don't you have ANY relatives you can borrow a suitcase from?"
Oh, Ashley. I'm sure you are regretting selling the poon to random strangers but it's too late. What you should have done is found some athlete or sugar-daddy to sucker. P.S. opening your mouth to the tabloids for $500,000 beats screwing pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged johns any day of the week.
every time i see a pic of snooki, i'm reminded of her back fat rolls (seen when she plunged into the hot tub). is this what happens when the implants take up too much space on a barrel-shaped woman?
@thatgirlinnewyork: Well, in poor Snooki's defense, she's like 4 feet 2, so even one extra helping of mani-COTTEH probably translates into back fat on her wee frame.
thanks for the memories, brian! please also add "juiced up" to the lexicon, as in snookie insists on finding a "juiced up guido". i can only think this is about the "protein" drinks.
@thatgirlinnewyork: I heard Juice Head a few times, and I was really trying to figure this one out using context clues. My first guess was that it meant the girls really like dudes who take steroids but that would also mean the ladies like shrunken balls. Then I went to urbandictionary, and one of the definitions was someone who gets really drunk in public places and said dumb shit before passing out/blacking out. My dream man!
Thanks for getting that this is a new animal in the petri dish of reality television and I see some also get that this is a movement from "reality tv" back towards documentary. A couple of the earlier MTV True Life documentaries were set on the Jersey Shore and I will bet those spawned this.
I have said it elsewhere: I am sure that this was the reality television "rapture" last night. And all the commentors pounded it out real good.
02:33 AM
I read this to my mom and we cried laughing.
01:03 AM
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I think Ashley is right.
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My fave quotes from the last hour:
I was going to Jerry Springer her ass
It only takes 9 lbs of pressure to break a nose
Don't let the spike hair fool you
The Situation tells me that we might have a situation
I am sorry sweetheart, I apologize for this broad right here
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12/04/09
Kudos to Brian for a fab recap, and extra brownie points for dubbing Sammy "Sweatheart" a "Helen of Troy" type..
This epic trash-fest totally reminded me of the narrative arc of the Iliad: Men fight over women; women are capricious and disloyal; everyone suffers from hubris; no one ever SHUTS UP.
I'm hooked!
12/04/09
They have only been in the house for like 2 days, and I wouldn't go in that hot tub without wearing anything less than a full hazmat suit.
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I've never heard any girl actually admit she was looking for someone on the nut-shrinking regimen, but there you go.
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I have said it elsewhere: I am sure that this was the reality television "rapture" last night. And all the commentors pounded it out real good.