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New York, 5:30 AM
Tue Dec 8
49 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    04:45 AM

    In reply to The Gawker Guide to Getting Past Airport Security This Holiday Travel Season
    I flew out of JFK to Madrid last September on Delta. When I got on the plane, I discovered that the fold-down table was broken; the small screws (or nuts or lugs or whatever you call them) in the left side folding mechanism were very loose. The table was sagging by a good three inches on that side. I stopped a flight attendant and asked it it could be fixed. "No, we have no tools aboard". NO tools? I've seen you guys fix bathroom doors and other things on the plane. "No tools. Hold the table up with your knee when you eat. Sorry lady, you'll just have to put up with it." He walked away. Just then I realized I had my hair up in a big metal clip (that had survived going through the metal detector). I took it off, and used it (and a smaller bobby pin I found in my bag) to tighten the screws on the mechanism, and VOILA, table fixed. Five minutes later the same flight attendant walked by, looked at the table, and said, accusingly, "You fixed it? With what? You've got a screwdriver or something in that bag? How did you do that? Let me see. What did you use?" I just smiled and said, "I used my fingernails" (which are bitten to the quick. He gave me a dirty look and stalked off. He spent the rest of the flight eyeing me suspiciously, but never seemed to figure out about the hair clip.
     Reply
    Edited by SarahHeartburn at 12/08/09 4:48 AM SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    03:47 AM

    In reply to Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret Ad, as Subtle as a Raging Teenage Boner
    There once was a director named Bay,
    His films were quite a display
    of bad taste/soft porn
    which sold much popcorn
    From film making I wish he'd stay 'way.

    (Author's note: Just be glad Mr. Bay isn't from Nantucket.)
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of CrayonSmoothie CrayonSmoothie
    04:33 AM

    @TheSometimesWhy: Or Phuket.
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy promoted this comment CrayonSmoothie was starred CrayonSmoothie was unstarred
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    04:50 AM

    @CrayonSmoothie: I was trying to save a little something for the honeymoon, CS.
     Reply
    TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    03:41 AM

    In reply to Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret Ad, as Subtle as a Raging Teenage Boner
    IT HAS EVERYTHING! HOT WOMEN! AND CARS! AND HELICOPTERS! AND BIKES! AND FIRE! AND KNIVES! MORE CARS! PLANES! EXPLOSIONS!!!!!!!!!
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    03:24 AM

    In reply to Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret Ad, as Subtle as a Raging Teenage Boner
    Yeah, can you explain that? I had a raging boner that only went down a little at night between the ages of 12 and 35. Didn't matter what manner of abuse befell it, it just wouldn't go down. Very very awkward and thank goodness for large books and backpacks.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    02:01 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    Incidentally, we should mention that we endorse that tomato-throwing guy if and only if he was chucking very soft, overripe tomatoes which would splatter readily and harmlessly all over Ms. Palin and drip down into her clothes while she was trying to sign books. Also, the tomatoes should have been organic and fair trade!

    And right to the face from two stories above, right Adrian?

    Right.

    Out of curiosity: since the tomato hit a police officer, and, say, that police officer, thinking he was being attacked, I don't know, then drew his weapon and then, oh bother, fired his gun into the crowd, would it still be funny then?
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of Lucky Lucky
    01:18 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    On the one hand, I agree on some level with the comment Aaron Altman left on the other post, but on the other, it's not a tarring and feathering or a tasering. It was a tomato. I think the outrage about your post was a little excessive.
     Reply
    Lucky was starred Lucky was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12:45 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    Dude tossed maters from a second-floor balcony?

    Not to be a fruit-n'-vegetable nerd, but I hope he was sufficiently figurative as to have thrown the appropriate variety, the Balconi Red.*

    *I am not making this up.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of pony_express pony_express
    01:07 AM

    @AzureTexan: Okay, now I am hearting you. Puns about produce pretty much gets me every time.
     Reply
    AzureTexan promoted this comment pony_express was starred pony_express was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    01:12 AM

    @pony_express: Then I guess I should save my kill-shot — "How did they ketchup to the guy?" — for a later date and time.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of pony_express pony_express
    01:15 AM

    @AzureTexan: Ha, I'll be sure to -relish- it at the appropriate time.
     Reply
    pony_express was starred pony_express was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    01:21 AM

    @pony_express: I'll try not to "pico" too early.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of D2theMatthews D2theMatthews
    12:40 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    The Times was just written better in those days.
     Reply
    D2theMatthews was starred D2theMatthews was unstarred
    Image of GlasgowRose GlasgowRose
    12:22 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    And don't forget that George Bush Sr. threw food at himself. OK, threw up, but he was protesting something (sushi?)
     Reply
    GlasgowRose was starred GlasgowRose was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    12:19 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    "Anne Coulter gets a Pie"

    Proving my theory that she wasn't born with one.
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    12:10 AM

    In reply to In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
    Adrian, how could you fail to mention the Egging of Arnold! I even mentioned this in the other thread. Good, informative post, nonetheless.
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of Adrian Chen Adrian Chen
    12:13 AM

    @Helio: nice
     Reply
    Adrian Chen was starred Adrian Chen was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    12/07/09

    In reply to The Gawker Guide to Getting Past Airport Security This Holiday Travel Season
    Overdress for your flight and you will never get stopped. Glamour is my armor, and you can quote me.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of BowlingForDollars BowlingForDollars
    12/07/09

    In reply to The Tiger Woods Mistress Dossier (Updated)
    One million dollars says there's at least one child that's a product of one of these affairs. Just wait and see.

    Unless his lawyers are working overtime to send some hush money.
     Reply
    BowlingForDollars was starred BowlingForDollars was unstarred
    Image of Sargasm Sargasm
    12/07/09

    In reply to The Gawker Guide to Getting Past Airport Security This Holiday Travel Season
    Speaking from recent experience, #7 is not enforced as stated. You might as well get SSSS tattooed on your forehead.
     Reply
    Sargasm was starred Sargasm was unstarred
    Image of triplethreat triplethreat
    12/07/09

    In reply to A Virtual Party Report from A Single Man's Premiere Party
    If only every post could be like this. It would be like Gawker and my youth had both returned.
     Reply
    triplethreat was starred triplethreat was unstarred
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