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New York, 7:36 PM
Fri Nov 27
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    06:10 PM

    In reply to Glenn Beck Dismisses Palin-Beck 2012 Because Sarah Belongs 'in the Kitchen'
    Sometimes, the vicious mauling and eating of one's own kind is a beautiful thing to behold.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04:09 PM

    In reply to Did an Indian Diplomat Help the Salahis Crash the White House?
    Hunting with the Gaddafis and the Rothschilds... polo at the White House...
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    02:04 PM

    In reply to Did an Indian Diplomat Help the Salahis Crash the White House?
    Why aren't these people under arrest already?
    And while we're at it, outlaw "reality" shows. They put actors and writers out of work, they encourage monkeyshines like these, and no good has EVER come out of them.
    Can't people just get real friends to keep up with? What with all this Twittering and Tweeting and IM'ing and texting--that's not enough? You have to watch sub-par mediocrities you don't know, and don't have to put up with at work or next door? You don't have enough banality in your life already? Or do you get off by laughing at these self-important, pompous idiots? Then please find a better way to feel good about yourself.
    Please. Just stop watching. The future of the earth depends upon it!
     Reply
    Edited by Novaload at 11/27/09 2:07 PM Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of SuchAndSuch SuchAndSuch
    04:13 PM

    @Novaload: Good fuckin' grief. You sound like my grandpa circa 1953 complaining about rock and roll putting "REAL musicians" out of work.

    I don't know what you do for a living, but clearly it's something very classy and important and refined and whatnot. I'm surprised you're even slumming around here, on the web, where reality TV watchers hang out -- isn't your kind of lofty criticism usually reserved for the editorial page of the NYT?

    #gatecrashersgate
     Reply
    Novaload promoted this comment SuchAndSuch was starred SuchAndSuch was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    04:32 PM

    @SuchAndSuch: Actually, Jalopnik is my home base. I watch LOTS of TV but not this stuff, only once.
    Reality TV--It's a kind of low-brow voyeurism--let's do a roll call, shall we? Who is famous only for their show? And what kind of role models are they?
    How about the Kardashians. What do you learn from that? What value does that have? There's no taste, no brains, nothing but complete self-absorption. Stripper pole in your house? Check. And what's the pregnancy rate for teens these days? What role models do they have?

    Or the Housewives of ____fill in the blank. "Housewives" -- oh, as in "just" housewives. Ditto, what's here? Why is ordinary crap from life--dullness and stupidity mostly--worthy of tv? Can't you go to a neighborhood coffee klatch and get better entertainment?

    And let's see, there's also Paris Hilton, the queen of Bimbos, and let's not forget Octomom--who belongs in a mental health facility--is going to get one.

    Or the Gottis. That was a fine bit of entertainment, wasn't it?!

    Jon and Kate? Oh, the important thing is that you breed a lot of kids and then open your life to total strangers for money--you whore out your kids and your life. Even though you know your husband was about to throw in the towel on the marriage. But no--the people who watch this raise nothings and nobodies with nothing to contribute to the level of little gods. For what?

    So maybe I missed something with ANY virtue of ANY kind? Perhaps you'd direct me to that? These are trainwrecks at best, stupidly dull at worst.
     Reply
    Edited by Novaload at 11/27/09 4:35 PM Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter
    04:51 PM

    @Novaload: You know that "Humor" is a virtue, right?
     Reply
    Novaload promoted this comment Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter was starred Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05:13 PM

    @Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter: Of course I do. So you and the other guy should try to get a sense of humor or possibly, instead tell me what I'm missing here. I give you examples, I get back nothing but ad hominem arguments. Humor? Tell the Gottis and Kardashians they're 'funny' and they will kick your ass.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter
    05:43 PM

    @Novaload:

    I have a great sense of humor...actually, I'm laughing my ass off right now!

    My response was not, in fact, an "ad hominem argument" it was a question in response to your desire for someone to point out how these shows have virtue of any kind. And I did, humor is a virtue, these shows make people laugh. Done and done.

    Also, just so you know what you just did is an ad hominem argument. Saying that myself and the other commenter should get a sense of humor does not actually address the issue we are discussing but attacks us as people. Yes, the other commentator's post could be mistaken for an ad hominem argument (which really is a misnomer since they are attacks not arguments) in a way though it really falls under sarcasm which is not, sorry to tell you, an ad hominem argument since it was not an argument at all.

    Don't assume people who watch reality television are stupid. Some of us just know how to relax once in awhile. Also, we have special buttons on our television sets that allow us to turn off things we don't enjoy.

    FYI: The Gotti's haven't had a show for almost 5 years and the Kardashians have on more than one occasion poked fun at themselves and the humor that comes from their "reality".
     Reply
    Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter was starred Tiger Lourdes: Zombie Hunter was unstarred
    Image of hatey hatey
    11:44 AM

    In reply to Give Us Your Best Thanksgiving Horror Stories
    My birthday is in mid-November, and, typically, I celebrate by getting piss-myself-drunk and ending friendships.

    In 2005, I was on good behavior (though the theme of my party was Lumberjack Or Whore: Which One Are You?), but a week later, I went to a bar with the guy I was dating and... well whatever. Fucked if I know, really, but I woke up alone in my apartment, the relationship officially ended via his bitchy text message.

    I spent the week alternately crying and checking prices on flights to New York. I could either see my friends and family or sit in my cold apartment, downing anti-anxiety meds and Beam.

    The day before Thanksgiving, I got some ridiculous deal and that settled it. I made the calls and announced I'd be in Brooklyn by two the next day.

    (An aside: I was doing all this from my office on campus; I was also student government co-president, though why anyone would have given me any sort of responsibility at this point of my life is truly mystifying. Anyway, a cute boy who liked me chose to stop by at this moment and cry to me about his STD. This happened a lot that fall, and was not what I had really signed on for.)

    The next morning is a blur. I've always needed drugs to fly, and I know I traded the guy next to me a Klonopin for a double vodka.

    I took a cab into the city, dropped my shit off at my best friend's, did a line, and grabbed the F to Brooklyn. There waited my favorite family member, all her friends, amazing food (she was a chef at a restaurant you've all heard of), and more marijuana than I've seen before or since.

    The night ended at Union Pool, around a fire pit with people I love. It was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had, a beautiful moment of calm right before I went truly insane and ended up in intervention-ordered therapy and on even more prescription drugs.

    But that's a story for the inevitable xmas thread.
     Reply
    hatey was starred hatey was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10:38 AM

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling
    Why can't all advice be this funny AND this useful?!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of bodegacat bodegacat
    02:55 AM

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling

    You could combine 1, 2, 3 and 4 by yelling "Look, it's Rob Pattinson!" and then pushing through in a tight V-formation in this uniform:
     Reply
    Edited by bodegacat at 11/27/09 2:56 AM bodegacat was starred bodegacat was unstarred
    Image of Dot Dot
    03:48 AM

    @bodegacat: I would be quite relieved to see something that normal at a Wal-Mart. Plus, good combo!
     Reply
    Dot was starred Dot was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    10:36 AM

    @Dot: LOL. I bet People of Walmart will be posting some fascinating pictures in the next few days.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Meercat Meercat
    11:17 AM

    @Novaload: if you haven't been to peopleofwalmart.com, go now.
     Reply
    Novaload promoted this comment Meercat was starred Meercat was unstarred
    Image of Meercat Meercat
    11:19 AM

    @bodegacat: is that guy second from the right Jon Gosselin?
     Reply
    Novaload promoted this comment Meercat was starred Meercat was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12:34 PM

    @Meercat: Are you kidding? I bookmarked that the day it was created!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of bodegacat bodegacat
    01:00 PM

    @Meercat: good eye - and sad now, to think of over-bikinied Kate - how could she compete with that?
     Reply
    Edited by bodegacat at 11/27/09 1:04 PM bodegacat was starred bodegacat was unstarred
    Image of bodegacat bodegacat
    01:10 PM

    @Dot: bwah! i think they misappropriated a blue-light special for tweens on aisle 13.
     Reply
    bodegacat was starred bodegacat was unstarred
    Image of Dot Dot
    01:34 AM

    In reply to Give Us Your Best Thanksgiving Horror Stories

      And now a break in the horror for a puppy picture.
     Reply
    Edited by Dot at 11/27/09 1:35 AM Dot was starred Dot was unstarred
    Image of MisterHippity MisterHippity
    12:55 AM

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    When the relatives get you down, just close your eyes and imagine "Turkey Lurkey Time" in your head. Before you know it, a smile will slowly spread across your face, and then your head will start to bob rhythmically ...
     Reply
    Edited by MisterHippity at 11/27/09 12:57 AM MisterHippity was starred MisterHippity was unstarred
    Image of Dot Dot
    12:26 AM

    In reply to Five Ways to Avoid a Black Friday Trampling
    My brush with (the Wal-Mart, Black Friday) death:
    Because of hangovers and still being awake, and after a vicious T-giving fest with my family, my manfriend and I decided to check out the 5 a.m. extravaganza at Wallyworld. Incipient brain death was our only excuse, not only for being at Black Friday, but for being at (for fuck's sake) Wal-Mart at all, ever. After pulling up in the car and viewing the inbred, wild-eyed, ravenous crowd huddled together in a seething mass of undulating hell, we said "Fuck, no", and left to go get pancakes.
     Reply
    Dot was starred Dot was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    When it comes to healthcare, I just tell my GOP relatives that my most-recent doctor has opted out of all HMOs. He sent a letter telling everyone he can't make a living off of denied coverage, and is now going on a "consierge" system. Ha! If he gets me theater tickets and a hooker, I'll agree to the $1000 a year price.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of nicepony nicepony
    11/26/09

    In reply to White House Party Crashers Are Awesome, Sad
    calla lilies. people like them always like
    calla lilies.
     Reply
    nicepony was starred nicepony was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/26/09

    In reply to Meet the Hot Boyfriend David Geffen Took to Obama's State Dinner
    28,299... pretty close
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of tunamelt tunamelt
    11/26/09

    In reply to Give Us Your Best Thanksgiving Horror Stories
    Let's do this again for Christmas. I have great ones for Christmas.
     Reply
    tunamelt was starred tunamelt was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    12:56 AM

    @tunamelt: Yes, me too, me too!!!
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    Had I gone home to the heartland, I would have been surrounded by 25 family members, including some from the family my nephew married into, the matriarch of which availed herself of the sanctuary movement after Reagan-sponsored death squads assassinated her boss, RC Archbishop Oscar Romero. She brought 2 kids, had another once she arrived -- illegally -- in Ann Arbor. The daughter she had after she arrived here is married to my brother's middle son; the daughter she left El Salvador with is engaged to his older brother.

    Now...those nephews older step-brother is Michael, who came under another person's identity from the killing fields of Cambodia, also during the 80s, also illegally. He and his wife have 4 kids and a growing -- due to immigration -- extended family. He is a small business owner, the class of people Republicans have now nominated as The Most Important People In America. He makes a Pad Thai that will burn your eyebrows off.

    Without illegal immigration, that party would be half empty.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/26/09

    In reply to How to Talk to Your Conservative Relatives
    The Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer is awesome, if deeply and unapologetically cynical. It's a great complement to this comment thread.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
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