Gawker 
Enter your username and password.
New York, 2:43 AM
Mon Nov 30
13 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip Your Editors:
tips@gawker.com
Tipline: 646-214-8138
Editor-in-Chief:
Gabriel Snyder | Email
West Coast Editor:
Richard Rushfield | Email
Contributing Editors:
Valleywag:
Ryan Tate | Email
Media:
Hamilton Nolan | Email
Politics:
Alex Pareene | Email
Investigations:
John Cook | Email
Entertainment:
Brian Moylan | Email
Nights:
Adrian Chen | Email
Azaria Jagger | Email
Ravi Somaiya | Email
Weekends:
Foster Kamer | Email
Video Editor:
Richard Blakeley | Email
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
"I rarely laugh out loud in movies, but I remember I did during the shit scene and the scene with Drew strangling Lara. "
He WAS being ironic, wasn't he?
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
Wouldn't you then smell only faintly of garbage truck? It would be worse if you just made out with a garbage truck.
10/12/09
Clearly you are not conversant in poop.
10/15/09
Anyway, so you'd smell like poop, (although I imagine the garbage truck would more so). This is a function of buttfucking, not garbage trucks. #tuckermax
10/12/09
10/12/09
The whole Tucker Max ouvre is nothing more than "According to Jim" for the under-30 set, a helpful indoctrination program for an overweight middle-aged period of dumbassery prior to justifiable expiration on the couch of some sort of heart defect.
If you go to the forums at Max's website you'll see that this is the case. People aren't necessarily looking to laugh or swap stories, they're looking for personal guidance into the successful living of an undistinguished American sub- or exurban life.
10/12/09
There is a serious crisis of masculinity in this country. Tucker Max provides a helpful way for All The Young Dudes to measure themselves: how many bitches did you fuck, how hot were they, and how big of a dump did you take afterward? And he's hardly alone in selling this mentality to boys with nothing better to occupy their time.
It's not even a lack of role models for young men, it's a lack of roles. Outside of the bedroom and toilet, of course.
10/12/09
For serious, the "Adam Sandler Generation" fails to realize that arrested development is something to be laughed at and ridiculed, not something to aspire to. Don't get me wrong, every 18-22 year-old should be granted some leeway when it comes to being led around by their cocks, but it seems that the expiration date on that behavior has been abolished. As with everything else bad, I blame the Baby Boomers.
10/12/09
That's true! One comes out of the PeePee hole and one comes out of the PooPoo hole!
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
Hey, Plagarist Pete! Stop copying and pasting my comments from the Schindler's List message board!
10/12/09
Screwed up, mold, crazy, shit, motherfucker, garbage, hates women, bored, unsettling, bad reviews.
That's really all I needed to know. Thanks!
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
10/12/09
1. Set brain to 0.
2. Try to work up theatre-clearing flatus.
3. Practice braying drunk laugh.
4. Set cellphone to ring the guitar solo from Van Halen's "Jump".
5. Eat popcorn. In mouth. On floor. Save enough to throw around, like the sad monkeys in the Bronx Zoo do with poop.
10/12/09
You forgot the giant prolonged burp that should preceed the braying drunk laugh, but other than that small oversight, you've captured something here.
Now if only we had a way to humanely stamp it out before it spreads any further...
10/12/09
07/01/09
07/01/09
07/01/09
07/01/09
07/01/09
She is the silt of the Earth.