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Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness

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DevilsAvocado
11/09/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
Devil's Avocado rider:

12 bottles chilled Veuve Cliquot champagne

3.5 bowls of M&Ms - red only

Cheetos cheese and bacon balls

Cold springs smoked salmon

Double sour cream

Chive and onion blini

Irish linen bed sheets scented with ylang ylang and orange blossom

10,000 fresh, red rose blossoms

2.5 kgs Colombian marching powder

1.5 kg Surf washing detergent

Blast! antifungal cream
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DevilsAvocado
11/09/08

@DevilsAvocado:

With such thoughts in mind, I'm off to bed. Night all!
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DevilsAvocado
11/09/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
From my experience with same, this is relatively polite. Spartan even.

Not that I condone diva-like behaviour. But, if I were touring for years at a time, and finishing gigs in the wee small ones, I'd want my bowl of cheetos and several bottles of Veuve Cliquot on ice just to get me through the night.
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lululemming
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
The hard boiled eggs conjures some disturbing Rihanna as Cool Hand Luke imagery.
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Annasfatassistant
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
did you see MIA's? These people are such leeches. I can understand food/drinks but cigarettes and underwear? I guess you need them if you want to slide across the floor "Risky Business" style.
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BookishLookish
11/08/08

@Annasfatassistant: They all do it. It's called entitlement.

When Lauren Bacall was on Broadway years ago she had a rider for rolls of toilet paper delivered to her dressing room in a box. Which she would pack up and send to her mother after each performance.
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purn
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
what's a I-roll? and who is rihanna? is this fleetwood mac related? i like that song
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jasonelias
11/08/08

@purn: Well this Rihanna is surely "taken by the wind" given her craptasic eating habits.
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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
since when is a whole roasted chicken an hors d'œuvre?
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jasonelias
11/08/08

@BeccaThePromoMami: Since Ruben Studdard was named as the opening act.
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VoxPopuli
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
Oooh... now I have a craving for jerk chicken, buffalo wings and Golden Grahams. Not so much the hard boiled eggs.
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RocketRockit
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
Blergh. I work in music and I've seen tour riders MUCH more demanding from performers MUCH less famous.
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Spirit Fingers
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
My God. Her list reads like a six year old Halloween party. And I would never let anyone know that I prefer hard boiled eggs at any given moment. Now every time I see her I'll think of something eggy and sulfurous. Just what you want as a popular young woman.
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yo, naomi leon (nee captain_underpants)
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
i think i'm gonna go to the bodega to buy some plantain chips.
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BookishLookish
11/08/08

@captain_underpants: Chifles? That is always the right thing to do.
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shag_carpet_bomb
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
I'm with the meh's, this is nothing. She's on a bus all day, up all night, in a strange town, doesn't know where the quickie mart is, and couldn't get there even if she did. I've toured with a low-if-paid-at-all punk rock band and their rider was more outrageous than that. Booze, mexican coca-cola, doritos, chocolate milk and cheese. And ibuprofen and cigarettes. and chocolate, don't forget the chocolate. Also, you do find yourself asking for things just to see if they show up backstage. It's always fun in Switzerland to ask for giant chocolate bars, they make HUGE chocolate bars over there.
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Xylo
11/08/08

@shag_carpet_bomb: I'm kinda astonished at the lack of chocolate for a female traveler - she's female, right? Maybe she carries her own stash of a special brand.
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ThreeBowls
11/08/08

@shag_carpet_bomb: I agree. I had the usual scoffing riders-are-diva-behavior reaction for years until I traveled a lot for business and would invariably wind up in low-blood-sugar-induced tears, lost in a rental car in some town in Kansas, trying to find something, ANYTHING to eat at 11pm. And then after I gained about a gajillion pounds from eating room service on those nights I got in before it closed (sadly, I do not have Rihanna's metabolism and my job called for more sitting than dancing onstage), suddenly the idea of being able to control what's in your environment in a strange place made a heck of a lot more sense.
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Weegee's bored
11/08/08

@ThreeBowls: I hear you. Exactly a year ago I was on the road for six straight weeks for business. I blew out my workout program, gained ten pounds from eating all the processed foods (I was in Nawlins for ten days ... go ahead, try to find healthy food in Nawlins, I dare you) ... and damned near put myself into a hypertensive crisis from all the sodium. I would have loved to come back to my hotel room to a bowl of fruit and some chicken breast.
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kitkatsplash
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
I wish that I could eat like and LOOK like that!

And as far as the closed water spray bottles to be used for their own "purposes" by "beth"-Douching perhaps?
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Xylo
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
She gets "good quality tortilla chips" whenever she travels? I can't even count on my stupid local Rabba store to have lime flavoured Tostitos when I get the urge. *sob*
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T.S._delegate
11/08/08

@Xylo: oooh. Life without lime-flavored Tostitos isn't a life worth living. Then again, I'm spoiled. I live directly next to a 7/11 whose creepy regulars I brave almost every night for a lime chips/ben and jerrys/gummi bears run.
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Xylo
11/08/08

@T.S._delegate: If I lived next door to a store that carried them, I'd never stop eating them, I am OBSESSED with those evil things, what is that??? There must be crack in that lime flavouring. If I had to head to the drug-dealer corner-store to get them, I'd happily do so. As it is, I now have to travel three big-city blocks from my apartment because the stores at the end of my block don't carry them anymore, even though I've nagged both managers soundly. Sigh.
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T.S._delegate
11/08/08

@Xylo: Perhaps you should thank your luck stars that they're not so readily available. My neighbor, who shares the crack-chip-addiction, once went so far as to start licking the "lime" off the chips and throwing the chips out because she was too full. Like a cow, I'm destined to keep eating them until I explode.
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Xylo
11/08/08

@T.S._delegate: ROFL! I, too, eat them until I explode. If I didn't run and climb hills, I'd weigh 400 pounds. However, I have sat and licked my fingers until they wrinkled. I'm telling you, there's something weird in that flavouring.
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patsy-needs-changing
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
Oooh, just reading that list gave me medium/hot diarrhea.
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BookishLookish
11/08/08

@patsy-needs-changing: Try an apple martini enema.
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NapQuest
11/08/08

In reply to Rihanna Tour Rider Approaches Greatness
I was kind of disappointed that Björk didn't have woodland creatures on her rider. Some things are better off left to the imagination.
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Minsley Tortimer
11/09/08

@ocd soundsystem: bjork eats woodland creatures ???
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DevilsAvocado
11/09/08

@Minsley Tortimer:

Only pinenuts, M.
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