toys - Gawker

posts about #toys more →
Hero Government Slays Poison Hamster Toy Warning, Saving Christmas
The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
Everybody Mad at Dolls, Cartoons
And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
New Doll Will Not Tell Census Takers How Many People Live In Her Dream House
Congressional Action Figure Made Into Action Figure
The BrickBreaker Breakthrough
Jay-Z's Attempt To Kill Autotune: Fail
"Hey, Little Jim, Tiny Sally: Get Your Brains Blown Out In Iraq"

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

fatmonalisa
12/08/09

In reply to Hero Government Slays Poison Hamster Toy Warning, Saving Christmas
When will they start selling these will little bottles of astroglide? My friend Richard might want to get these on the go.
Reply

Edited by fatmonalisa at 12/08/09 11:13 AM fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred

TailgunnerJoe
12/08/09

In reply to Hero Government Slays Poison Hamster Toy Warning, Saving Christmas
You wrote:

"The annual Heathen War on Christmas is in full swing..."

THEN you wrote:

"The Communist plot to destroy Christmas here—in America..."

You weren't funny the first time (about twelve hours ago.)

If you're going to pretend to be a "clever" try to keep it original and above all, fresh.

In humor and politics, timing is everything!
Reply

Hamilton Nolan promoted this comment TailgunnerJoe was starred TailgunnerJoe was unstarred

Hamilton Nolan
12/08/09

@TailgunnerJoe: Are you blind to the fact that the Heathen War on Christmas is controlled by Communists?
Reply

Hamilton Nolan was starred Hamilton Nolan was unstarred

TailgunnerJoe
12/08/09

@Hamilton Nolan: Your repetitive posts tell me SOMETHING must be going on!

I'll alert Ward Cleaver.
Reply

TailgunnerJoe was starred TailgunnerJoe was unstarred

jordos1
12/08/09

@Hamilton Nolan: @TailgunnerJoe:
It doesn't matter anyway. If the communists and heathens, or worse communist/heathens, or perhaps the worst; liberals (shiver), get their way with free (gulp) healthcare, we will all be bowing to Mao regardless.
Reply

jordos1 was starred jordos1 was unstarred

miss_msry
12/08/09

In reply to Hero Government Slays Poison Hamster Toy Warning, Saving Christmas
Shit my window of opportunity just closed.
Reply

miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred

jordos1
12/08/09

In reply to Hero Government Slays Poison Hamster Toy Warning, Saving Christmas
In related news, "Actor Richard Gere breathes sigh of relief."
Reply

jordos1 was starred jordos1 was unstarred

lobstr
12/07/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
I never thought I'd ever say this sentence, either out loud or in print:

"Yeah, but, Mr. Squiggles has been found to contain antimony..."

[www.star-telegram.com]

carry on... :[]
Reply

lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred

Cunning_Linguist
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
"Mister Squiggles," has unsafe levels of antimony.

I initially read that as "'Mister Squiggles' has unsafe levels of anatomy," which made me wonder how big that fake hamster's dick really is.
Reply

fatmonalisa promoted this comment Cunning_Linguist was starred Cunning_Linguist was unstarred

Ed Wood Jr Jr
12/06/09

@Cunning_Linguist: I read it as "unsafe levels of acrimony". How many parts per million until the tykes start capping each other for them?
Reply

Ed Wood Jr Jr was starred Ed Wood Jr Jr was unstarred

ellagood001
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
"The light-brown version of the Zhu Zhu hamsters, "Mister Squiggles," has unsafe levels of antimony"
Only the light-brown ones, huh??
Reply

Ed Wood Jr Jr approved this comment ellagood001 was starred ellagood001 was unstarred

Ed Wood Jr Jr
12/06/09

@ellagood001: reading between the lines tells me that the other versions are really the ones to have, based on their tendency to burst into flames.
Reply

Ed Wood Jr Jr was starred Ed Wood Jr Jr was unstarred

GlasgowRose
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
I'm one vodka tonic away from becoming a Zhu Zhu foster mother.
Reply

GlasgowRose was starred GlasgowRose was unstarred

GlasgowRose
12/06/09

@GlasgowRose: And two G&T's away from fostering Foster Kamer, I might add.
Reply

GlasgowRose was starred GlasgowRose was unstarred

Zira
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
You would have to be insane to buy a toy made in China for your child.

Those things are probably dipped in lead.
Reply

Mediahohoho promoted this comment Zira was starred Zira was unstarred

Mediahohoho
12/07/09

@Zira: The only way to not buy toys made in China for your child is to not buy your child any toys made in the last 30 years.
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

AmbiguouslyUbiquitous
12/07/09

@Mediahohoho: I have tried doing research into what kind of toys I can buy for my 13 month old daughter. I thought I had a little reprieve when the Safe Toys Act went through this year.

Then I read that the biggest toy maker, Mattell, has exempted itself from this rigorous new third party testing law it helped create.

[www.sfexaminer.com]

There's very little we can do to free ourselves from this Corporatocracy. I guess I should start looking at making my own toys?
Reply

Mediahohoho promoted this comment

Mediahohoho
12/07/09

@AmbiguouslyUbiquitous: Thanks for the link. Although they're expensive, I like Plan Toys, which are made in Thailand using renewable wood (from rubber trees) and non-toxic paints.

Making our own toys is a good idea, of course, and there are a few small toy makers who sell less toxic stuff. But it's getting away from the big retailers that works best when it comes to avoiding corporations that don't put kids before their bottom lines.

All of which is expensive, so, yeah, it's tough. Luckily, kids just naturally have great imaginations and don't actually need that many toys.
Reply

Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

Zira
12/07/09

@Mediahohoho:

There are a lot of websites listing alternative toys made in the U.S. and Canada. I only buy those. Mattel and the rest are completely unreliable.
Reply

Zira was starred Zira was unstarred

ystrdysnews
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
Next time I see a kid with one of these, I'm totally going to stomp on it and then laugh in his face.

And then get arrested, probably. Every silver lining's on a dark cloud.
Reply

fatmonalisa promoted this comment ystrdysnews was starred ystrdysnews was unstarred

ampersandparade
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
I think aspirational consumerism is the most hilarious joke that capitalism has played on me in my lifetime, and in this situation I find it even more incredible. Why would a child actually want this thing? This is a horrible toy. Yet they have all become convinced via the usual projectors of child trend that this is a brilliant addition to their consumerist collections of plastic shit, and if they themselves haven't been brainwashed, their parents have, by way of that nervous feeling they have as they back the suburban tank out of the driveway and wonder, eyes darting in both directions as the neighbors do the same, "do you think that they've already purchased... the Zhu Zhu thingum?" And this makes their hearts beat faster, and their sweat glands flow like a raging river, because it means they aren't keeping up as fast as they should, they will fall behind, and pretty soon it won't just be a Zhu Zhu whatever, it will be the car they have on lease, and then the wallpaper in the kitchen, and before you know it everyone else will have stopped wearing belts over their sweaters like Michelle Obama and what will this mean about who I am and what it is I want to be?

Any parent who does not believe, for one moment, that this "must have" product was actually conceived as such within an advertiser's headquarters, before being pitched to the media as a softball story that they could pad their holiday consumer shopping reports with as a trend piece, is idiotic and deserves all of that diarrhea, every drop of it.
Reply

ampersandparade was starred ampersandparade was unstarred

ystrdysnews
12/06/09

@ampersandparade: The TV-ified American in me read the first line of your post then moved onto the next.
Reply

ampersandparade promoted this comment ystrdysnews was starred ystrdysnews was unstarred

fatmonalisa
12/06/09

@ampersandparade: Cool story bro.

Our consumerism makes the United States a joke to other people but EH, I like money and nice things. All they others can suck it.
Reply

fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred

Charlotte Rae's Web
12/07/09

@ampersandparade: I'll take the bait. My kid wants one and she's getting one.

Just because something is popular doesn't always mean it is bad. You tip your hand with the comments on the suburbs and SUV as to what your argument is going to be. I know that sort of cynicism is uber-popular here but the reality is that some hot toys are really fun.

I can give you some very valid reasons why this is a good gift for her, ones that aren't listed above. But my personal justifications are really unnecessary, the answer is that they are FUN and she likes them - that's the bottom line.

I get your commentary about how some Americans like to try to keep up with the Jones. But perhaps your experience with children is so limited you forgot that having FUN is a big deal about getting gifts.

So excuse me, I'll pass on whatever toy you and your crowd want to endorse for it's off the beaten path value and just get my kid what is FUN. I'm curious - what is your child getting this Christmas? Free trade beans? Native crafts? Vintage seeds? An abacus?
Reply

skahammer promoted this comment Edited by Charlotte Rae's Web at 12/07/09 12:56 AM

Matt Cherette
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
NGL, I kind of want one. Does that make me 12? Or just really hip? Or neither? I'm gonna go with neither.
Reply

Matt Cherette was starred Matt Cherette was unstarred

fatmonalisa
12/06/09

@Matt Cherette: It's basically a cat toy. I kind of want one to harass my parents' cat come Christmas. It freaked out with Furby so this could only be worse.

Dogs will eat it and we will probably hear news reports about it
Reply

fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred

Matt Cherette
12/06/09

@fatmonalisa: True. My dogs will eat anything, too. Especially the pug.
Reply

Matt Cherette was starred Matt Cherette was unstarred

TheUptightMidwesterner
12/06/09

@fatmonalisa: EXACTLY!! I see these things and think "This is the perfect toy to mentally torment my cat and dog with."
Christmas bows are just as effective, not to mention cheaper.
Reply

Charlotte Rae's Web
12/07/09

@Matt Cherette: My kid is getting one and I fired it up to see if it worked. It's cute and fun. My kid has wanted a hamster or guinea pig forever but I'm convinced our dogs will eat one - they'll eat anything and while they aren't allowed upstairs, she sneaks them up all the time. So I figure this is a replacement attempt - one that doesn't need to be fed or have its crap taken out.
Reply

Matt Cherette promoted this comment

Matt Cherette
12/07/09

@Charlotte Rae's Web: This makes me want one even more, haha. Thanks!
Reply

Matt Cherette was starred Matt Cherette was unstarred

CrayonSmoothie
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
Mister Squiggles sounds like an online handle a molester would use.
Reply

skahammer promoted this comment CrayonSmoothie was starred CrayonSmoothie was unstarred

skahammer
12/07/09

@CrayonSmoothie: Reached for comment, David Foster Wallace's short story "Mister Squishy" said you might be on to something.
Reply

skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred

twirlywhirly
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
I just don't get the point of these things. They look like cat toys.
Reply

misslinda promoted this comment Edited by twirlywhirly at 12/06/09 9:41 PM twirlywhirly was starred twirlywhirly was unstarred

misslinda
12/06/09

@twirlywhirly: Which is exactly why I want one. My cat has been begging for Num Nums.
Reply

misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred

belltolls
12/06/09

@twirlywhirly: My cat has a mouse toy with big letters on it that say, "M-O-U-S-E." I always wondered if that was for the cat or me. I will bet it is made in China. A catnip mouse would be too expensive to make in the States.
Reply

belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred

raincoaster
12/06/09

In reply to The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
When they start to breed with Furbys, they will take over the Earth.
Reply

raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment