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New York, 2:07 AM
Fri Nov 27
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of RandomLunatic RandomLunatic
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    The Zhu Zhu Pets are a danger as old as the Betsy-Wetsy Doll:

    [dangerist.typepad.com]
     Reply
    RandomLunatic was starred RandomLunatic was unstarred
    Image of Rozelle’s Bagman Rozelle’s Bagman
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    John, I'm only hamsterdancing.
     Reply
    Rozelle’s Bagman was starred Rozelle’s Bagman was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    It is clearly the next step in the total enslavement of the US by our Chinese overlords. The hamsters are obviously wiring home what they learn.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of mommy_dearest mommy_dearest
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    A pretend pet is far superior to a real pet, any day. I would get this for my youngin' if she insisted on a pet (although I will not stand in line for one). I did get Sea Monkeys for her because I thought she would like them, but turns out they are really dull, and none of them wear actual crowns like in the picture. They ended up released to the sea, which I don't feel too bad about since they were just entering the food chain where they probably belong, rather than on my kitchen counter.
     Reply
    mommy_dearest was starred mommy_dearest was unstarred
    Image of Charlotte Rae's Web Charlotte Rae's Web
    11/22/09

    @mommy_dearest: My kiddo is getting one but I got it at a normal price in the store. My child is forgetful and loves letting our dogs upstairs to her room - I'm afraid one of our dogs would make a quick snack of a real hamster when my daughter lets the dog and hamster play, then wanders off.

    This way, no death, no food, no smell.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten promoted this comment Charlotte Rae's Web was starred Charlotte Rae's Web was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    11/22/09

    @Charlotte Rae's Web: yeah, mixing pets. A whole 'nuther episode. Thanks for thinking this through.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    As for Richard Gere I always heard it was a gerbil. A much different animal altogether.
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    Clearly this is the Chinese version of the 70's arms race that bankrupted the Soviet Union.
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    And aren't they the cheapest, most horrible-looking things? Like repurposed material for cheap slippers from some toxic Chinese factory? I refuse to believe this is really a trend for the pre-drinking set.

    While we're at it, I'm not crazy about actual smelly hamsters, or rodents generally, up to and including kangaroos.

    Speaking of vermin, I walked on the wild side in Madison Square Park for lunch the other day; a delicious lamb gyro and orange juice from a friendly street-meat vendor. It came to $4.50, thank God he could break a hundred, graciously.

    ANYway, as I fancied myself daring for eating lunch on a park bench without cutlery, I watched 700 idiots line up to get theirs from that Shake Shack. I'd swear that line scarcely moved. The entire time. But apparently the sort of morons who'd stand an hour and a half on line for that place are also the sorts feeding the aggressive, obese squirrels in that park.

    Daytime rats with fluffy tails, these squirrels were seriously out of breath after gamboling between the legs of texting trendies who voluntary chose a Kafkaesque queue to stand in for an hour. To get a hamburger, as if it were the Saigon airlift.

    An obese tourist pointed out to his uh, Rubenesque wife- "Look how Faaat that squirrel is!" Between the fat squirrels and the Shake Shack line and the fact that I don't ever usually eat lunch, it was a nightmarish scene of human/animal urban dysfunction.

    My point was: rodents deserve death, and I heartily encourage releasing handsome predators in all NYC parks. Owls, falcons, snow leopards . Bengal tigers who know whom to maim selectively. No hamsters, except for that secret ingredient that makes Shake Shack burgers so irresistible. Them and fattened squirrels. It's all true and it's a scandal.
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: you just haven't met the right hamster, Baroness. One day, maybe. He'll put his little paws around your heart and you won't know what hit you.

    [Making the most of being in a Gawker hamster thread on a Saturday night.]
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/21/09

    @Banjo-Sea Kitten: I know, I feel the pathos of it too. Writing about hamsters and fat squirrels on a Saturday night, sigh. But the Copacabana doesn't open 'til midnight, so time to put those cucumber slices on my eyes in my gracious drawing-room. The cucumber absorbs the tears, sob!
     Reply
    Edited by Baroness at 11/21/09 8:56 PM Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: make sure your girl slices them evenly and correctly. Symmetry equals beauty, you must know...
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: My only experience with reading a women't magazine as a child: I read that cucumber slices were good for the eyes, and then suggested to grandmama that she try this, which she did, only to arise 15 minutes later with huge puffy eyes from a previously unknown allergy.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/21/09

    @Banjo-Sea Kitten: Keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved....
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/21/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: What about putting a raw steak on your eye back at stately Wayne Manor after a rock'em sock'em brawl with underworld henchmen?
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: Will that buy me the dispensation to say "grandmama" again?

    #tips
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: Squirells = rats who can accesorize, it's true.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/21/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Well, not to me dear, I'd surely slap you. I'm thirty..whatsit! And have never given birth that I know of. Then you'd light my cigarette and we'd forget all about it, and you can call the other ladies at the party "grandmama" all you like. Especially the young ones whose outfits Tim Gunn would call "matronly". I'd enjoy that.
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/21/09

    @Baroness: Oh no, I just liked having said it once, and wanted to do it again. In any case, laissez les bons temps rouler!

    #tips
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Baroness Baroness
    11/21/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: In the 1930's movie of my dreams, you'd be my beau escort. We'd have a laugh at little Ronnie Reagan at the bar, I'd throw cash at the crowd before fainting. You'll catch me there. Then I'll learn I have some terrible brain thing. A moment of melodrama, I kill the doctor with a ladylike pistol, you're waiting in the DeSoto with the engine running, the hedonistic madness continues. Nite clubs galore!

    You forge a new will naming yourself as beneficiary, I don't give a damn. As long as the Champagne keeps flowing! I die a beautiful death in the ladies' room after you've slapped me around, and you ditch my body somewhere in Far Rockaway, in an impeccably tailored suit. We're beautifully filmed throughout in platinum black- and white.

    I won't give away the ending to this movie, but the jury will acquit you after the dramatic trial. Because they'd want to kill the wanton bitch, too.
     Reply
    Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/22/09

    @Baroness: That's quite a yarn, sugar, but here's what's really going to happen. See, little Ronnie's always got an ace up his sleeve, and the name of that ace is Doria Palmieri. He's dizzy with this dame, a shrink with a pair of drumsticks that could tickle the skin off of Meyer Lansky. Doria's loaded. She blew into town a few months back with a couple of pachucos and she's had Ronnie pickled in gin ever since. You mess with him, you mess with her. So here's the long and short of it: That thing in your head? It's a tumor that starts with the letter "L". The only doctor you're going to plug is Dr. Me.

    Sure I'll forge a new will, but there's room for two if we write real small. Doria's taking the wrap for this one. I don't make trips for biscuits. Awright let's get outta here before we both come down with lead poisoning.

    #tips
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of VioletViolet VioletViolet
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    For those working in retail that morning, I suggest that 5 hour energy shot drink. It's more like a 3 hour energy shot, but that's the only thing that got me through Black Friday at Sears.
     Reply
    VioletViolet was starred VioletViolet was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/21/09

    @VioletViolet: My advice from long ago is make sure they put you on a register and don't take breaks. There's no point in trying to push through the mob to the bathroom. Keep a pee bottle behind the counter.
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of VioletViolet VioletViolet
    11/21/09

    @Tart of Darkness: Heh, I wish my advice was from long ago.
     Reply
    VioletViolet was starred VioletViolet was unstarred
    Image of unclevanya unclevanya
    11/21/09

    In reply to And the Bony, Terrifying Hand of Black Friday Beckons
    Curses! The hamster link caused a QuickTime upgrade and almost made my Firefox go boom in the
    midst of a hypnotic spinning hourglass.

    Given the choice between the sounds I just heard and an ear infection, I'd consider choosing the latter.

    Last year I started a challenge with myself: to see if I could do all of my holiday shopping online without once having to set foot in a store. I almost made it. It will probably be even easier this year...

    Have you ever played Flight of the Hamster? Smashing good fun!
    [www.i-am-bored.com]
     Reply
    unclevanya was starred unclevanya was unstarred
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    10/14/09

    In reply to The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
    What's with the "Black Widow" pattern on the dress?

    Actually...black...widow? Sounds like a threat! Call the secret serivce!
     Reply
    Edited by JacquesPaysan at 10/14/09 9:17 AM JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    10/14/09

    @JacquesPaysan: Lord, I hated that dress on election night [images.google.com] and thought we were finally through with it. Though I will say it works better on mini-Michelle.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of pz pz
    10/14/09

    @JacquesPaysan: Black and red were the colors that you were supposed to wear when a black person was finally elected President (for those in the african-american community).

    No, I'm not making this up. Had always heard it talked about, but not many actually did it on the day after Obama was elected.
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan promoted this comment pz was starred pz was unstarred
    Image of goetz goetz
    10/14/09

    In reply to The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
    Plasticine is a soft modeling clay. Not... whatever you're talking about.
     Reply
    goetz was starred goetz was unstarred
    Image of Martiniman Martiniman
    10/14/09

    In reply to The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
    Most of the country seemed to think that Barack was an action figure when we elected him. Ah well.
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan promoted this comment Martiniman was starred Martiniman was unstarred
    Image of HPGrl04 HPGrl04
    10/14/09

    In reply to The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
    now with fist-bumping action and mega-arms, so strong she can lift a (barbie) car.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight promoted this comment HPGrl04 was starred HPGrl04 was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    10/14/09

    @HPGrl04: Ha! Though it looks like they actually silenced her "guns" and slimmed her down a bit. Good likeness, though.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of Sharpstyx Sharpstyx
    10/14/09

    In reply to The Potential Importance of a Michelle Obama Action Figure
    My, what big teeth you have!!
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight promoted this comment Sharpstyx was starred Sharpstyx was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    09/28/09

    In reply to New Doll Will Not Tell Census Takers How Many People Live In Her Dream House
    So many Republican fantasies, so little time.
     Reply
    Edited by naugahydeinplainsight at 09/28/09 5:06 PM naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    09/28/09

    @naugahydeinplainsight:
    (Darn pictures keep disappearing if I edit the text)
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
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