Yes, like her husband — and other political luminaries — the First Lady will be immortalized as an action figure, thanks to Jailbreak Toys. And, since she's so fashion forward, Michelle will be available in three different outfits: all inspired by some of her signatures looks, like the black and white ensemble worn on The View. So she's really more of a Barbie than anything else.

But back to our original question, or a variation. All of last year's big political players — Hillary, John, Sarah — have been shrunk down to action figure form. Even crazy GOP congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a plastic replication (although, the poor thing, only 50 have sold).

And then there are comic books: Barack Obama and John McCain were both featured in Spider Man adventures, and the Female Force series features Hillary, Sarah, Michelle and even Caroline Kennedy.

Are these baubles and funny pages proof of how consumerist cultures fabricate unnecessary "needs"? Or are they a more playful form of political idolization, an idolization that's born in the cult of personality? These people are, to millions, literal heroes, so why not put them in superhero form so that the public can have and hold those who inspire them more than some silly Transformer? And then, much like politics itself, toss them aside or sell them to the highest-bidder?

Perhaps this phenomenon's a little bit of both, but one thing's for certain: these products prove that great American camp continues to evolve. Just the way God intended...

Yes, for, uh, $2.99, you too can now have the technology that gave rise to one of the most irritating sounds in modern hip hop and made Kanye West waste a bunch of months trying to sing. Rather than just sit down and die, T-Pain decided to cash in and bring autotune to the masses. If you thought the guy listening to music through his phone, sans headphones on the subway was bad, wait until you meet the one singing into his. This is wonderful, and awful, and I can't not promise possibly sometime over the weekend posting a video of me using this in the comments, doing a Gawker Weekend Autotune Rendition of Jennifer Holiday's "And I'm Telling You" verse. Meanwhile, watch and learn:

Mattel Asia Pacific is the genius behind these images, obviously an attempt to show the oh-so-realness of their war toys. Ya think mom and dad might prefer to see pics of junior pushing toy tanks in the backyard sandbox, rather than looking scared shitless while surrounded by rebels in Basra?

Images via copyranter.

"Will you let me live if I mow your lawn?"
"Mommy, please help me land this..."
Little Kailee wistfully ponders her crush on Nick Jonas moments before the snipers attack.

It was four juveniles walking around with a toy gun, that they scored rummaging through all the crap Princetonians leave behind as they rush away for the summer. In other news, Princeton students are corrupting the youth with intoxicants!

Police believe the incident stemmed from a bigger problem of kids from town going on campus and rummaging through dumpsters looking for unused alcohol, which campus security says has been on ongoing problem.

These drunk kids wandering around with a "green toy handgun" and a half-empty bottle of Malibu that they filched from the trash caused the entire campus to be on full lockdown for 90 minutes. The lesson for Princeton students: Don't leave behind anything dangerous that could be used for mischief by your inferiors.

[CentralJersey.com. Pic via]

Here's Rebecca Rubin, fictional 1914-era girl created by American Girl corporate marketing wizards in a naked bid for the last of the multicultural dollars. And here's Rebecca J. Rubin, aka "Little Missy," wanted for arson in Oregon in connection with burning down evil buildings for the hardcore anarchohippie Earth Liberation Front:

How to tell them apart? The FBI notes that the arsonist Rubin "may have light facial hair." So, yea.

Clearly the solution is to arrest everyone responsible for creating American Girl Dolls.
[NYT. Good catch, Salkin!]

[NYT]

[Wired]

[via YOU: On My Blog]

[via YOU: On My Blog]

"Finally, once everyone went on dates and kissed good night and went on dates again without any broken hearts or unexpected pregnancies, we needed to mix things up a little. So Mark would dump Leia for Bespin Leia (the fancy 'Empire Strikes Back' Leia who Lando said truly belonged with them 'among the clouds' of Bespin City), and Bespin Leia would cheat on Mark with Harrison, or Luke would start stalking Carrie ('Empire Strikes Back' Leia in 'Hoth' garb)."

Okay, just a damned minute. If you realize that Leia came in both "Hoth" and "Bespin" outfits, why do you insist on dismissing Han and Luke in their Bespin outfits as "Hunkier 'Empire Strikes Back' version[s]"? But I digress...

"But even with so much drama and intrigue in the air, the second we started to mix and match the couples, we'd quickly begin to lose interest in the game. Who cared if Bespin Leia dated Mark then Luke then Harrison then Luke again, really? After a while, the relationships felt arbitrary, and sometimes Leia would elope with Chewbacca just to piss everyone off." [Salon]

Now that tears it. She has the heros of the Battle of Yavin running around like stinking Barbie dolls and tops it off with flagrant anti-Wookieeism. From now on, girls may play with Bratz dolls, Hula-hoops, and each other's hair.

Ultimately, the toy might be a little too advanced for novices, as its initial rear-entry action seems to suggest a preliminary step that, while certainly exciting, is probably not necessary for young Transformers fans to begin their healthy experimentations in self-gratification.

• Late Show [CBS.com]

In the cesspool of cross-promotions that is Hollywood, we can't think of any marketing opportunity less synergistic than the following combination: the Transformers live-action movie, Hasbro's Camaro-all-transformed "Transformers Movie Ultimate Bumblebee" figurine and Devo's "Whip It." But maybe that's just us. – Ray Wert

[via TFW2005]

Related:
GM An Official Transformers Movie Partner, Rick Wagoner To Play Megatron?; Transformers Toys For Tots: Bumblebee And Optimus Prime Show Their Stuff At ToyFair; Bumblebee's Like A Bullitt: Set Images From The Live-Action Transformers Movie; Holy Spielberg! First Leaked Set Pics From Transformers Live Action Movie! (Added Bonus: GM's Probably Gonna Build The Camaro!) [internal]

No, not our commenter — the Autobot named Bumblebee. Our fave fan site all about the 'formers hipped us to new pictures of a transformed 70's Camaro version of the yellow-n-black bot. I'm not yet thrilled as it's not the new concept Camaro version from later in the movie and we're actually curious as to where the rest of the car went post-transformation. But despite my lack of exuberance over this toy, there's some other news from TFW2005 that makes up for it. Unfortunately, it's only for olks over in the UK. We've heard they should be expecting to see:

"a Transformers Movie slot car racing set! UK slot car manufacturing company, Scalextric, is set to launch this product in June...the set will feature Transformers Bumblebee and Decepticon Barricade from the new movie and allow you to transform the cars to reveal the robots. Out early in June and costing 40, Scalextric is hoping to storm kids and adults bedrooms in time for the July 4 film release."

UK To Get Transformers Movie Racing Set in June [TFW2005]

Related:
All our Transformers coverage [internal]