Writes our tipster:

Wow. I wasn't expecting him to dance like a monkey, but neither was I expecting to leave the bookstore depressed. You know the scene in 30 Rock where [Tracy Jordan] gives a speech at his High School and has a breakdown? It was like that, only not funny. At one point, while talking about his father and his mother, he broke down crying. Nobody knew how to react, so we gave him an awkward round of applause. Maybe three laughs in 45 minutes.

Here's the clip in question:




Well, it might not have been funny, but at least it wasn't a downer. Writes another tipster:

I also attended the reading last night and like other Gawker attendees, I was surprised by the tone and content of his talk. However, I left feeling slightly inspired. He spoke at length about how we need to interact more as a community, that we need to get off the computer and stop listening to our iPods and interact with fellow New Yorkers. He even mentioned Kanye West and how he was saddened by what he did to "that young girl." It was certainly not what i had expected but not entirely depressing.

Either way, it sounds like Morgan had a really emotional day. First he was breaking down on NPR and then this. There aren't many people we'd want to give a big hug and tell them that it will be OK, but Tracy is at the top of the list.

Were you there? Got pictures? Let us know!

1.) Who farted?
Bigger than the mystery of whether or not this whole thing was a publicity stunt is the mystery of which Heene family member's heinie gave a Bronx cheer.


Entertainment Tonight is all over this thing.


2.) Speaking of potty humor…
I love this girl.


3.) "Well, fuck you."


4.) 12¢ Cheeseburgers


5.) Wendy Williams fucked up a lot this week.
More than usual.


6.) This kook says she's spoken to Michael Jackson since he died.


7.) Balloon Boy will not steal Jon Gosselin's thunder!
This week Jon was, again, all over The Insider and Entertainment Tonight (which led to the lawsuit TLC filed against him today). After his appearance in court earlier this week, when a judge ordered him to return $180,000 he took from Kate and his children, Jon appeared tense. Here, he explains his clenched jaw.


Entertainment Tonight managed to get Rod Stewart's opinion on Jon, as though Rod is some kind of father of the year. (Rod's children have, in fact, been on reality TV, and one of them appeared on Celebrity Rehab, which is a giant parental fail.)


8.) Asians don't need Botox, according to Jon Gosselin.
But he would like to get new hair plugs.


9.) Jon is trying to distance himself from Michael Lohan.


And that's probably a good thing, considering that Lindsay's dad filmed an episode of Maury this week, which, as of yet, has no scheduled air date.


10.) 30 Rock is back!

It's one of the ironies of Morgan's career that he's found bigger stardom as the star of a parody of Saturday Night Live than he ever did on the real thing. And in his upcoming book, I Am the New Black, he mentions who treated him like shit, namely then stars Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri. Morgan writes, "All I have to say about that is, where's Chris Kattan now? Where's Cheri Oteri now? That bitch can't even get arrested."

But the grudge apparently runs even deeper, because when Morgan sat down to record the audio version (in the clip above) of that passage, he started ad-libbing, expanding on his earlier points: Morgan says he still counts Will Ferrell, Molly Shannon and Colin Quinn as friends, but as for Oteri and Kattan: "Fuck 'em."

Amazing. It's not everyday you hear Tracy Morgan acting like a demanding, slightly unhinged television star who feels underappreciated by his co-workers. It's more like every week.

We're told Mogan will be at the Union Square Barnes & Noble Thursday Oct. 22 at 7pm if you want to see if he'll curse more old colleagues.

Normally this is where we feature funny, interesting and indiscreet tweets from a wide variety of people in an around media. That was before 30 Rock's Tracy Morgan joined the microblogging service, by popular demand, rendering our job much, much easier.

There have already been calls to fact check this one. Sorry, we're not that into Mr. Morgan's "feed."

Also, "doing karate!"

Tracy Morgan also wants to keep "making kids until I'm 80."

Ya, we're all lizzing a little, Dorothy.

Did you witness Tracy Morgan tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames containing the term "TracyMorgan".

OMGICU has been on a campaign to bring Morgan to Twitter since Tuesday, according to the Wall Street Journal, after collecting such stalker sightings as these:

• "tracy morgain [sic] is walking around soho eating blueberries looking confused."
• "Just saw Tracy Morgan driving a Yellow Lamborghini with a blond woman listening to Sade."
• "Tracy Morgan at the Bowery whole foods. I smiled but he gave me a mean look back. He was with a lady."

Welcome to Twitter, Tracy. Every week is Shark Week!

Oh look! He just delivered his first tweet:

Poetry.

If we're going to have to be besieged by the private lives of celebrities over the internet, would you rather hear about Demi Moore's beef with Perez Hilton, Martha Stewart's latest disaster, and Elizabeth Taylor's heart surgery, or would you rather read Tracy Jordan Morgan spout hilarious nonsense and delightful inappropriateness?

You don't have to answer, that question was rhetorical. This is a medium that is perfect for his style of comedy, and the public demands it. What's stopping you, Tracy?

Her name is Lisa Ann (who also played Sarah Palin), and she leads a bunch of adult actors doing very good impersonations of Tracy Morgan, Alec Baldwin, Jane Krakowski and the rest of the gang. While we haven't seen any of the naked action, what comes between the scenes is dead-on. If the actors can get that right, than delivering a relentless rogering should be easy. Oh, and wait for "I'm a black robot, motherfucker," to be on a T-shirt in Times Square by the end of next week. If you want to buy the movie, click here [NSFW, unless you work in a strip club].

This new movie is the latest in a long line of smutty features based on beloved TV shows. How did this happen? Well, porn producers figured out that people like prepackaged commodities and that if they made these parodies, then people like us would write about them and give them free advertising. Damn, trapped again! But this one appears really worth it. We're not falling into this trap again for The Fucks of Life.

• Madonna regrets breaking up with Guy Ritchie, supposedly. Also, the novelty of dating her A-Rod proxy, Jesus Luz, has worn off, sources say, which is besides all of her Kabbalah friends being like, OY, A GOYIM NAMED JESUS?! Madge, babbeleh, step off it. Anyway, now that Madonna's learning the whole Big Yellow Taxi Theory firsthand, maybe she will stop tearing down trees/divorcing husbands who are probably good for her in the long run and shtupping men who're half her age. Also, getting to write about Madonna and Kabbalah reminds me of this 1998 MTV VMA performance where she did this ridiculous Shanti chant that segued into "Ray of Light." Two things: (1) in retrospect, this moment makes so much sense on the Timeline of Madonna Being Ridiculous as it was clearly kind of an important one and (2) the VMAs, man: they just don't make them like they used to. Watch Lenny Kravtiz get on stage with Madge for "Ray of Light" and come to terms with the fact that you just don't have it in you to be as ridiculous as Madonna. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Star reporter and Star-fucker Kate Major thinks Jon Gosselin needs to be alone right now, and I think Kate Major needs to go to a decompression tank or something. She's the succubus of celebrity reporting.
  
  
• A bunch of Long Island teenagers in Great Neck freaked out and basically shut down a road after they saw Leighton Meester shopping yesterday. They had to, like, call in the SWAT team or something just to keep these kids at bay while Meester perused the racks of a, let's see, a Steven Dann store? Can someone tell me if that's impressive or pedestrian? No offense to Great Neck - okay, offense to Great Neck - but it can't be that impressive if she was shopping in Great Neck. Also: why was she shopping in Great Neck? The only truth to Page Six items is that, like religion and drugs, they only lead to more questions. [Page Six]
  
  
• In what's clearly a Richard Johnson-penned item, Joan Rivers, who's now like 109, hired three security guards to watch over her penthouse apartment "to make sure that guests weren't tempted to swipe any of her tchotchkes." Oy. Paranoia reigns supreme, but then again, Rivers' tchotchkes could probably be sold to the Natural Museum of History, so there's that. [Page Six]
  
  
• Tracy Morgan and his wife are getting a divorce, and hopefully Morgan will remain stable without her, but for some reason, I don't think this is going to happen. Am I the only one on this? [NY Daily News]
  
  
• Sienna Miller told Conan O'Brien that she burned her boobs on the set of G.I. Joe after an explosion went wrong and her bra caught fire. I'm sure this won't encourage the young delinquient masses who're G.I. Joe's sad target audience at all. At. All. [NY Daily News]
  
  
• Fanboys, appreciaite the sacrifice of Robert Downey Jr. He still hates getting in the Iron Man suit, and called it "torture." Most other celebrities I'd be like, psh, whatever, they're getting paid $20M to walk around in an Iron Suit and we can't even see their faces but it's Robert Downey Jr. Former crackheads receive the benefit of the doubt in instances like this. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Gerard Butler's thought about having sex with Jennifer Aniston, and it's like, really? This is an item? Also, dude, you'd be getting John Mayer's Wonderland-esque Body's Sloppy Seconds. And then you'll think about John Mayer's O-Face. And that's about that. Also, is Butler not, like, everywhere lately? Please someone tell me how he likes his eggs because seriously, that's got to be the next item on him. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Robert Pattinson did something in private and People reported on it. [People]
  
  
• Ha. There was a wire profile of Lady Gaga and they didn't mention the rumor about her supposed peener. [Reuters]
  
  
• Shannon Elizabeth and some dude she was dating from one of those dancing shows broke up and Tweeted it. It was amicable, which Twitter obviously wasn't meant for. If you're going to end a relationship on Twitter, you need to make it a holy mess, or else, there's no point. Seriously. Just do the real thing where nobody can see it and live a normal life. [People]

Tracy Morgan is probably the most entertaining celebrity guest any talk show could ever book. Anyone remember the time he appeared on a local news show in El Paso, Texas? It was amazing!

Sitting with some guy from a vh1 show and screaming a story madly.

[Pic via Down by the Hipster]

The morphing of Tracy Morgan and Tracy Jordan has been underway for a while. But in less than 10 seconds, 30 Rock demonstrated that it's impossible to tell the two apart anymore. Here's a rundown:

Fake!

Fake!

Real!

Real!

Real? Fake? It's really hard to tell at this point.

Specifically, a crazy interview that Morgan did on Chicago's WGN back in 2007 will be included in the April 23rd episode of the brilliant sitcom. Not a reenactment even. Just the damn clip itself, in which Morgan calls out Oprah and lies on the news desk, pretending to be a pregnant lady. Can't wait.

Terminator Salvation is once again surrounded with controversy and angry people. This time, though, Christian Bale is blessedly uninvolved. No, one of the film's producers, Moritz Borman, is suing his fellow prods Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek. The pair owns the Variety]

Martin Lawrence, Regina King, Tracy Morgan, James Marsden, Zoe Saldana, and Loretta Divine will be joining Chris Rock in the remake of the British comedy Death at a Funeral (which starred Alan Tudyk and Peter Dinklage). Oddly, angry white boy Neil LaBute is slated to direct. [Variety]

If you weren't already convinced that we've only a few short, miserable, light-starved years to go before humanity coughs, sputters and dies, here's the tipping point. More people are watching The View this year than ever before. [Variety]

Julia Roberts will be producing a film called Jesus Henry Christ. It's actually just going to be Julia standing and smiling at George Clooney, touching his cheeks and saying "Oh you..." Then they rob a bank in Biarritz. [THR] Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss will be joining Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker out in Wyoming. When asked about the project, Moss gushed "Oh it's so exciting. Hugh's always wanted to be a cowboy. It's nice to see his dream come true." [THR]

Joe Simpson continues to try and squeeze blood from his stone-like daughters. He's now signed his most irksome offspring Ashlee Simpson-Wentz up for Embarrassing TV Camp, where she'll be doing some sort of frown-faced, husky-voiced acting for the new Melrose Place reboot. She'll play a small town LA transplant with a secret. The secret is that she has no discernible talent. [THR]

In a statement the actor thanks fireman for saving his fish:

A fire broke out in my Manhattan apartment this morning, apparently starting with a lamp attached to my fish tank. The sprinklers promptly activated and the NYFD came by to make sure it was contained.. Fortunately, the fire did not spread and no one in the building was injured — even the fish are okay. My thanks to the New York Fire Department for their quick action.

A source tells us that Morgan's tank was full of sharks and eels and things. Which is hilarious. Oh, Tracy. TedSez was right.

[TMZ]

OK! magazine reports that the actor and comedian lost most, if not all, of the contents of the Trump Place apartment. The fire apparently also spread to other apartments, including maybe Sherri Shepherd's??

The View Earth's roundness-denier mentioned the fire on her show this morning, saying that her apartment had flooded because of the sprinkler system. So that's awful for everyone, good thing they are rich and can buy new things and new apartments.

More importantly, isn't it kind of wonderful that Sherri and Tracy, who play husband and wife on 30 Rock, live in the same Riverside Drive Boulevard building? Maybe they have secret "rehearsals"...

Here's Sherri talking about the fire and her precious, precious wigs: