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Unjust desserts
Chocolate Is Death
A 29 year-old chocolate factory worker in New Jersey died today after falling into an eight-foot-deep vat of melted chocolate. One option for the poor man's cadaver: a mold for chocolates. More » -
the rich
The Fall of the House of Noel
The Noel family was once the toast of Greenwich, Connecticut. Dad ran a hedge fund. Mom and the daughters were social queens. Now, they've reportedly been kicked out of their country club. An American tragedy:
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updates
Freddie Mac Suicide CFO's Stressful Career
The media's had a good half day now to find out more about David Kellerman, the Freddie Mac CFO who committed suicide early this morning. He hung himself. The "job stress" scenario is looking plausible: More » -
tragedy
With Child-Selling Tale, Slumdog Has Officially Gone from Heart-Warming to Gut-Wrenching
Rubina Ali was plucked from the slums of Mumbai to star in Slumdog Millionaire, which went on to be a smash hit around the world. Too bad absolutely nothing good came of that! More » -
war
After 18 Years, Citizenry Witnesses Return of War Dead
The family of Air Force Staff Sgt. Phillip Myers, 30, authorized news media coverage of the return of Myers' body from Afghanistan. The coverage was the first of its kind of 18 years. More » -
obituaries
Nicholas Hughes, Son of Sylvia Plath, Commits Suicide
Nicholas Hughes, a marine biologist and academic, hanged himself at home 46 years after the suicide of his mother, the poet Sylvia Plath. He was 47. More » -
the cinema
Liam Neeson's Coma-Movie Plans
Actor Liam Neeson understandably set aside his work in Chloe, which was shooting in Toronto when Neeson's wife Natasha Richardson suffered a fatal skiing accident. His next role? More » -
update
'Vigil' For Natasha Richardson in New York
Natasha Richardson completed her flight from Canada to New York, and then apparently to Lenox Hill Hospital amid fresh reports the Tony-award-winning actress is brain dead and family are saying goodbye.
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tragedy
Natasha Richardson Update: Conflicting Reports
The status of actress Natasha Richardson after her skiing accident remains unclear, as various news agencies are reporting vastly differing items. The New York Post claims she is "brain dead," TMZ claims she is not. More » -
Oh Martha
Martha Loses Chow, Prepares Chow
Oh no! Martha Stewart's new chow puppy, Genghis Khan, died in a tragic fire at her breeder's boarding facility. She was so upset that she told Twitter all about it. So how did she cope?
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war
Maybe We'll All Get to See the Coffins Come In
Ever since the heroic War on Terror began, the Pentagon hasn't let the media cover the arrival home of the coffins of dead US soldiers. Now maybe they'll loosen that ban...because the Pentagon hates war? More » -
tragedy
Knick Star's Awful '09: Baby's Mother Murdered
Good lord. New York Knicks center Eddy Curry was hit with a shady gay sexual harassment lawsuit earlier this month. And yesterday the mother of his child was murdered, in front of the child. More » -
mysteries
Scott Ruffalo Case Gets Seedier, Sadder
More developments in the strange death of actor Mark Ruffalo's brother Scott. Supposedly police aren't buying the whole "Russian Roulette" story given to them by the "Saudi princess," Shaha Mishaal Adham. Can't trust foreigners!
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tragedy
Stiller Steps in for Ruffalo after Russian Roulette Tragedy
Neurotic funnyman Ben Stiller is replacing rumpled sadsack Mark Ruffalo in Squid and the Whale auteur Noah Baumbach's next feature, Greenberg. Maybe because of the tragic and, um, nutty death of Ruffalo's brother this week. More » -
wtf
Bride's Freak Tragedy
"A romantic marriage proposal on the Oregon coast turned deadly for the bride-to-be when a wave swept her out to sea." [AP] -
julie grau
Even The Cultured Fall Prey To Common Fitness Misconceptions
Illustrious Doubleday book publishing exec Julie Grau takes to the pages of Vogue this month to muse about her "definitive ab-sculpting workout": "On the floor, we pretzel our legs and torque our bodies through an array of exercises that Tanya promises will 'fry the fat off your hips' and get rid of unsightly waistband overhang." Sorry Julie, spot reduction of fat is a myth. I'm surprised you didn't know that. You can read about it in a book. [NYO] -
on beauty
What a Plastic Surgery-Free Michael Jackson Might Look Like
Accompanying an astoundingly sad-on-all-accounts article about former pop singer Michael Jackson (on forgetting that he's turning 50 years old, not 40: "It all went by so fast, didn't it? I wish I could do it all over again, I really do." Devastating) is an image of what the King of Pop may have looked like had he not had alllll that plastic surgery. It's a well done imagining, a believable cross between Usher and Billy Dee Williams, rather than the ghost of Joan Crawford that you see on the left. A rare vision of one's life had a different turn in the road been taken. Unfortunately, Mr. Jackson, I've not seen your childhood, perhaps it's collecting dust somewhere up in that crumbling personal theme park of yours. But an alternate adulthood? Yes, that's right here. [Mail via LA Rag Mag] Click through for larger image. -
sad things
I Have Half a Mind to Say Mean Things About This Show
All right, fine. Everyone and their mother went to the Gossip Girl premiere party in the Hamptons and made fun videos and gurgled at Chace Crawford and I didn't get invited. Josh Schwartz, if you're reading this... you've broken my heart. -
unpopular opinion
Luke Russert to Talk Politics On TV For Some Reason
Well, good for Luke Russert. The young son of the late Tim Russert, longtime NBC newsman, just got a job as a political correspondent with NBC. He'll be heading to the conventions to cover "youth issues." Which is shorthand for "bullshit." Seriously, the kid isBUBC class of 2008, his only media experience is looking composed on camera while discussing his father's tragic death and also hosting a satellite radio sports talk show with James Carville (guess how he got that gig!). So... maybe we're just being assholes about it but seriously, NBC, there are a thousand unemployed (or "freelancing!") reporters and journalists out there who might enjoy a cushy on-camera gig! Hell, isn't Gideon Yago available? There's your youth issues! No disrespect intended, of course. Except toward NBC News executives. (Obligatory "this is just like when the Bronx Zoo hired Bindi Irwin" comments commence... now!) [NYO, FishbowlDC. Photo: NYSD] -
tragedy
Jared Paul Stern's Lawyer Needs an Editor
Former Page Six gossip Jared Paul Stern famously lost his job when he was accused of trying to extort zillionaire supermarket magnate Ron Burkle. No charges were ever filed. So Jared filed a defamation suit against Burkle—and Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Secret Service agent Frank Renzi, flack Mike Sitrick, and Daily News reporter William Sherman. Bad news, Stern fans: a judge has dismissed the suit. He dismissed it with great prejudice and even a little literary criticism. "A New York State Supreme Court justice trashed Jared Paul Stern's lawsuit in his decision, saying it read more like a 'Mickey Spillane novel' than a carefully argued statement of law." Ouch. James Cain—or even Jim Thompson!—would be one thing, but you really don't want your legal brief reading as ham-fisted as a Mike Hammer book. Is this the end of little Jared? No. No, it is not. More » -
advertising
Economy's Innocent Victims: Weird Ads
Sure, the current dicey economic climate has reduced America to nation of terrified food hoarders. But more importantly, it has cost us some of our annoying and unnecessarily strange advertising icons: Applebee's Wanda Sykes-voiced talking apple, and a bunch of guys running around in bizarre red pigtail wigs on behalf of Wendy's. Take a moment to mourn them. "Both campaigns were meant to attract younger diners," the Times reports. But they failed, because kids aren't doing as many drugs these days, I guess. The companies' new advertising strategy? "Hey, look at our food." More » -
obey
Shepard Fairey, Blind?
Shepard Fairey, a.k.a. OBEY, the artist and graphic designer who plastered the world with "Andre The Giant Has A Posse" posters and is perhaps the biggest thing ever to happen to wheatpaste, is reportedly going blind. Fast. One source says he could lose his vision by the end of the year. Bucky Turco at Animal NY has the scoop. Sad news. -
tragedy
Man Dies In Shea Stadium Fall
"A Mets fan leaving the game lost his balance while descending an escalator at Shea Stadium and plummeted two stories to his death - as his two young daughters watched in horror, authorities said." [Post] -
grammys
Grammy Awards Produced By Kanye's Late Mother
Kanye West is a man who has nobly borne cruel indignities with quiet grace. Like when he stormed the stage of the MTV Europe awards and threw a tantrum because his video that had him "jumping across canyons" wasn't recognized as a masterpiece. That show, of course, lost "credibility" by stiffing him. The Grammys weren't about to take that risk. They gave Kanye an appropriately respectful number of awards, but made the mistake of trying to cut one of his acceptance speeches short with background music. Don't the producers know that his mother just died? That means he will talk as long as he wants, damn the world. Is it just us or... tacky much? The "MAMA" haircut and Mama tribute song probably would have sufficed. Watch his humble appeal to good taste and decide for yourself.
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