Yesterday, Deadline released the first image from Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming film Southpaw, in which he plays a championship prize fighter, and, uh, ahh, he looks different!

Chris Birch was a big, tough Welsh rugby player who was engaged to a woman and loved nothing more than sports. Then one day he had an accident while trying to do a back flip and broke his neck and had a stroke. When he woke up, he was gay.

According to the uploader of this video—which depicts, in real time, a soap bubble falling victim to the elements and freezing solid—you should be somewhere where the temperature is at least five degrees below zero. Brrr! But... science!

Levi Johnston, noted Palin daughter-nailer, has hired Tank Jones, "a size-58 suit-wearing black man," to manage his career and be his bodyguard. He's also developed an alter ego to help him destroy his Wasilla-ness and fully embrace douchedom—"Ricky Hollywood."

What's this, our friend Ashley Dupre, nee Spitzer, has taken up yoga and is hanging with Russell Simmons developing "inner strength?" Pish posh! You need to focus, Ashley. You'll ruin everything.

There's just over a month to go until Star Jones's return to TV, a full year after an ugly power play saw her squeezed out of her co-host chair at The View and publicly shamed by daytime potentate Barbara Walters. Of course, the pudgy, pampered Star of yore is virtually unrecognizable from the Star of today—…