More Americans think 9/11 was an inside job than oppose naked X-ray screenings at airports. But the ones who oppose the X-rays happen to have access to your televisions and computers, so America is freaking out about the TSA.

You know how when you fly, you have to remove your laptop from your bag before you put it through the X-ray machine, to prevent bombings and such? Well, the iPad will be exempt from that little precaution.

Christmas is coming, so it won't be long before you're walking barefoot through spilled soda and children's vomit at a security checkpoint in some godforsaken airport. Fortunately, the TSA has leaked a sensitive document explaining how to avoid all that.