A Tree Can Finally Grow in Brooklyn Again
"Steve," the arborcidal tree branch-ripper of Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, has been arrested. Trees rejoiced.
Former Urban Oasis Becomes Death Trap
Ugh, horrible and scary: A man was killed by a falling tree limb in Central Park this afternoon. Nowhere in this city is apparently safe anymore. (Also: first whales, now trees? Is something happening?) [NYT] [Image via CentralPark.com]
Mankind to Evolve into Bee-Fighting Monkeys
To make up for melting ice caps and rising sea levels, global warming is also causing trees to grow "two to four times as fast as normal." In the hot, greenhouse-like future, we can all live high up in the trees. It'll be just like Avatar! Once mankind re-establishes a functioning society in our futuristic treescape,…
Nature to Man: FU
So last week some humans decided to blow the crap out of some stupid tree that made a big mistake by growing. Well the trees are fed up. Watch as this mighty oak exacts revenge on a wood shed.
Man to Nature: FU
What a beautiful sight. Serene sunset, tall grasses, a view for miles and...HEY! What's that stupid tree doing in the way?!
How Valiantly Did You Resist?
Five hundred dead! Where were you when the Central Park Treepocalypse happened?
Missing the Point: Environmental Edition
Good one: cutouts of "tree huggers," wrapped around actual trees, urging you to "VOTE EARTH" by switching off your lights for an hour. These cutouts are made of cardboard.
Eco-Hippies Mourn Dead Trees—To the Extreme!
Yes, deforestation is a terrible problem and may ruin the earth, but this is just a bit much. Members of the environmentalist group Earth First communed in the woods of North Carolina recently to scream and cry at the tops of their lungs for the brethren flora. Either that, or some hoaxers created a prank video to…
Greenpeace Turns Trees To Common Whores
God, the internet has really proven to be detrimental to our collective national psyche. It's gotten to the point that we won't even consider thinking about any organization that hasn't produced some god damn "viral video." And some porn! Must we impose these outlandish standards even on the gentle nature-lovers at…
