Today in Factual Accounts of True Tales of American Heroism That Should Not Be Characterized as Propaganda: Hero Navy SEALs have rescued a helpless eagle that was shot by a fiendish Afghani.

This story about the idiot who guessed wrong on the final question on last Sunday's Millionaire annoyed us. Because: a) "24-year-old LA lawyer," b) we knew the goddamn answer and c) we were too dumb to make it on Millionaire.