When Nancy Page walked into her Rhode Island home last week and found water pouring from the ceiling, she assumed a pipe had burst. No, Nancy. It was a wild turkey who did that to your house.
For all of our gorging on turkeys today, we seem to dwell a lot on the ones we spare. Here's another lucky turkey that will live long enough to be eaten by us at a later date.
Five years ago, then-Gov. Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey in anticipation of Thanksgiving at a farm in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. She then chatted with reporters as a cascade of turkeys was slaughtered just over her shoulder. Our great-great-grandchildren will reenact this interview inside vast underground cities…
Butterball has announced a nationwide shortage of turkeys just in time for Thanksgiving. The reason? "We experienced a decline in weight gains on some of our farms causing a limited availability of large, fresh turkeys," said a non-worrisome company statement.
In a move only slightly more subtle than the Roots' selection of Fishbone's "Lyin' Ass Bitch" to play in Michele Bachmann during a visit to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last year, the White House served "White Turkey Chili" for Mitt Romney's lunch with Barack Obama today.
When taking into account the fact we eat them for Thanksgiving every year, it's not hard to understand why turkeys seem to harbor disdain for people. But just in case you've remained unaware of the phenomenon, here are 10 videos of some angry toms and hens exacting revenge upon the evil carnivores among us. Happy…
It is America's finest annual tradition: The President of the United States, making small talk with wild animals instead of simply slaughtering them.
Mars rover! Disease frog! Shark protection! Wheezing baby! Explaining nothingness! Fire turkey! Excess antimatter! Tricky evidence! And your holiday outer space weather report! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—fishily!
Beware the turkey jihad! Unsuspecting families across Christian America will sit down to Thanksgiving dinner this week, completely unaware that they are about to feast on a bird that was slaughtered in accordance with Shariah law and will therefore give them Islamic cooties!
On Cape Cod, this mailman isn't worried about neighborhood dogs biting him. He's worried about the turkey that stalks him and then won't stop following him from house to house.
Three turkey friends embark on a thrilling adventure, filled with love, danger and of course lesson's learned. Just kidding, they chase a laser pointer around and have no idea what's going on.
[Barack Obama lets "Apple" off the hook at this morning's White House turkey pardon, a silly annual photo-op that every investigative reporter in Washington D.C. covers thoroughly. George W. Bush was so much better at these. Image via AP.]
Tonight, Martha Stewart visited Stephen Colbert for quite the entertaining segment. Stewart talked about having her DNA taken/preserved and killing drunk turkeys with her bare hands—among other things—and also made gross hors d'oeuvres with Colbert. Video highlights inside.
Times are grim in urban America. And, as one would expect, hard times lead to teenagers trying to shoplift entire turkeys by shoving them down their pants and "waddling" out of stores, nonchalantly. Thank god for surveillance cameras.
No. But if you're the first person to catch it once it falls you're allowed to run off with it screaming, "Miiiiine!" in this bizarre trailer park tradition.
We hope everyone is enjoying their Thanksgiving. As everyone gets ready to roast, fry, or otherwise cook their turkey, Gawker.TV would like to remind everyone about the importance of fire safety... with a round-up of our favorite turkey disasters.
After a hilarious speech, President Obama pardoned the first turkey of his administration, continuing this delightful tradition that should probably be ended, immediately.
Parents have enough to worry about these days. Add roving gangs of hostile turkeys stealing children's bicycles to that list.
Yesterday when we posted the infamous ad agency sex tape, our video department thoughtfully censored the clip by superimposing a Thanksgiving turkey over the center of the action. This led to a smorgasboard (HEH) of Thanksgiving-themed jokes in the comments. So in honor of our peerless commenters, and because it's the…
So the other day, Alaska Senator Sarah Palin staged her traditional "pardoning a turkey" photo-op standing directly in front of a man engaged in slaughtering turkeys, because, hey, a team of mavericks won't always agree on where to hold the easiest photo-op of any politician's career. Maybe she can stage the…
