twilight - Gawker

posts about #twilight more →
Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
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Mount_Prion
11/02/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Said it before, and I'll say it again. Let the Right One In.

Again:

Let the Right One In. #vampires
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snugbug
11/02/09

@Mount_Prion: I love you. So much so that now I will have to bite you.

PS: Maybe it sinks it better if we say it in the original Swedish? Låt den Rätte Komma in! Pronounced, "Lott den RE-tte KO-mma in." Funny how Swedish is so similar to English.
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Edited by snugbug at 11/02/09 1:23 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

Mount_Prion
11/02/09

@snugbug: Yeah, isn't "help me" basically phonetically "haelp meh"? That's what it sounds like when homegirl's under the bridge. #vampires
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snugbug
11/02/09

@Mount_Prion: "Hjälp mig" in writ and yes, it phonetically sounds quite similar to "help me." Except the Swedes "sugar-coat" most of the consonants in speech. They come across all soft and not explosive, as in German or English. German is the harshest and sharpest of all Germanic languages in prononciation--by comparison, English and all the rest sound stoned-mellow. #languagedork #vampires
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OMG! Ponies!
11/02/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Twilight isn't a cause but it is a symptom. By and large, I agree with this article. Basically, it's been a slow decline since The Lost Boys. Look at what we're left with:

The Underworld franchise: Vampires wear vinyl and werewolves wear Carhartt jackets. Also, you can put ultraviolet rays in a bullet.

The Blade franchise: Vampires can go out during the day if they put on sunblock.

The Lestat franchise: Vampires like velvet and ruffles and are terribly overwrought.

The Twilight franchise: Vampires sparkle and want to hold hands.

Step 1 is getting rid of the "blood bag" cliche.

What the genre needs is an abandonment of science and a return to religious/supernatural sources. Instead of vampirism being caused by viruses or bacteria or vampires being vulnerable to UV rays and immune to the Cross, go back to the old superstitious ways. Instead of overplaying the sex metaphor, play up the thinly-veiled cannibalistic aspect.

Basically, play up the monstrousness, the rape, the evil, and the fact that, ultimately, vampires are the living dead.
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Edited by OMG! Ponies! at 11/02/09 11:13 AM OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred

johnny_carsick
11/02/09

@OMG! Ponies!: it wasn't great, but chan-wook park's "thirst" was a bit of a welcome kick to the vampire ass in the monster/rape/evil/cannibal side of things. also just bizarre as all fuck. #vampires
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saralapua
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
I agree that vampire mania needs to go away and it will because that what happens with fads that have a ridiculous crescendo like this one. But your post is seriously wound up, Foster. It's just pop culture. Relax.
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Foster Kamer promoted this comment Edited by saralapua at 11/01/09 4:34 PM saralapua was starred saralapua was unstarred

Foster Kamer
11/01/09

@saralapua: If you're going to get irrationally angry over something, shouldn't it be something fun? #vampires
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saralapua
11/02/09

@Foster Kamer: Fair enough. This vampire craze has brought it out in all of us. But this too shall pass. Hopefully very soon. #vampires
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snugbug
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
I think this post angered the Transylvanian-born Hungarian IT team because suddenly not only are the early comments dissolving into the ether but the video links don't work no more either. Stop being so sensitive, Magyars! #vampires
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Spirit Fingers
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Er, Foster I can't agree with you entirely. While the current put vampire on everything (Sweet Jesus have you been to a mall lately? Photos of that damnable Pattinson covers the floor tiles at FYE .) craze of late is just willful, panicked consumerism and trend-sucking awfulness at its best...the lore and legacy of vampires is not. When done right, vampires can be wonderfully horrorful, enigmatic, seductive, and just plain creeptastic. (Everyone see Let the Right One In). Done badly and it's a Great Adventure ride that features a free keyring and a 65 ounce slushee with fangs on the side. But take the poetry of Ann Rice's Interview with a Vampire (Some of Tom Cruise's best work) or the brilliant camp of The Lost Boys... fun, forever original, and timeless.

For me this Twilight nonsense is really the bastardization. The cheating mistress of the genre. And not just for vampires, but it seems for werewolves too. I cringed and shouted "Fuck you!" at the CGI doggie-goes-growly transformation in the trailer. Le sigh Sucks that it seems Norway made a better vampire movie last year about young vampires than that chaste movie all the teeny-boppers seem to adore.

I say let's get back to some original movies about the bloodsuckers and stop all this mass marketed, virginal crock. Vampires are meant for an R rating. And they are not, not at all, meant to be cuddly, shiny, and moist. Nothing forever damned should be. #vampires
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liberalelite
11/01/09

@Spirit Fingers: Let the Right One In was boring... and Swedish #vampires
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Spirit Fingers
11/01/09

@liberalelite: No, it was subtle and macabre. Which in this instance worked rather well. #vampires
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Orgasmic-Chemist
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
True Blood is amazing. Plus, having sex right after watching it is always a bit kinkier, which is enough of a reason for me to love a show. #vampires
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snugbug
11/01/09

@Orgasmic-Chemist: Did you just type that out loud? Rawrrrrr.. #vampires
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DeadliestSin
11/01/09

@Orgasmic-Chemist: This is true. #vampires
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dkissam
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Vampires are inserts in romance for areas that used to be covered by dukes in historical romance, doctors in 1950s hospital romance, Greek tycoons in 1970s Harlequins, etc. The world most of the readers of these books live in is a pretty equal one, and romance is about a power struggle, so there has to be *some* way that the hero is more powerful than the heroine, and supernatural heroes are currently the popular way to create that power differential. The woman doesn't have to be economically powerless, doesn't have to come from a tragic abused background, doesn't have to not have a job, etc., to help the differential along. She can be a successful executive and it still works. He's a *vampire*. #vampires
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marciax3
11/01/09

@dkissam: You're all smarticle. The last decade has been all about the supes or billionaires. Not millionaires, mind you. A man isn't worth lusting over unless he has a private jet, a phalanx of goons to guard you, the high priced lawyer to take your baby (!), and the private mediterranean island to keep you in seclusion. I was a voracious cheap romance reader until it was all vamps and George Clooney.
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snugbug promoted this comment Edited by marciax3 at 11/01/09 8:24 AM marciax3 was starred marciax3 was unstarred

Super_fly
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
in the past decade or so there's only three instances when i find vampires ok. From Dusk til Dawn, Blade and now True Blood, because even though some of the vampires are emotional they still have no problem ripping a man in half and feasting upon his blood. On a side note vampires should NEVER sparkle in the sun, they.should.fuckin.die. #vampires
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sarrible
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
From Dusk Till Dawn is a completely awesome movie. #vampires
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Andrew Kornfeld
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
I thought Haiti invented zombies? Like they come from voodoo tales and shit? #vampires
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SpyMagician
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Screw your sparkly vampires. This scene of Frankenstein and Maria tossing petals in the lake is the best scene of any monster movie ever! #vampires
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bens
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
Since vampires are undead there's no chance of getting knocked up by one. Can vampires transmit diseases though? You could very well get vampire herpes. Or a vampire yeast infection. Since there's blood involved, could a vampire transmit HIV or hepatitis through their fangs like a dirty needle? Does vampire hair grow? It would suck to have the same ancient hairstyle the rest of your life. Since vampires are really old and were "turned" back before modern dental care, do they still have a mouth full of rotten black teeth? These questions need to be addressed. #vampires
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snugbug
11/01/09

@bens: Vampire blood is technically disease-free. That's because it's not actual blood--as in, a fluid composed of living cells that viruses can latch onto and replicate. It's a viscous substance that resembles blood and has some transformative properties but is as inert as perfluorocarbons.

I love that I took the time to reason this through. #vampires
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Anrkist
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?

Listen up kids. This is the head vampire. You think that's sexy? He can't be killed, not even with holy water. He is eternal. #vampires
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DeadliestSin
11/01/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
But they're so sparkly... #vampires
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Oryx Hearts Crake
10/31/09

In reply to Will The Nu-Vampire Trend Please Die? Tonight?
I think Americans (especially American adults) are obsessed with Vampires because Vampires are immortal and, more importantly, never age. Its a form of release to assauge our anxiety over the aging process and our inevitable deaths. #vampires
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CODiva
10/31/09

@Oryx Hearts Crake: But Botox is a lot less annoying and works almost as well. #vampires
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Oryx Hearts Crake
10/31/09

@CODiva: True but if you're a Vampire you get to hook up with Stephen Moyer or Robert Pattinson. And I'd rather look like Sookie Stackhouse than Nicole Kidman. #vampires
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MissNormaDesmond
11/01/09

@CODiva: Well, either way you end up looking undead. #vampires
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