Before I had kids, I thought just like you did. Then, I had a couple. Some days, all you can think about is going outside and feeling human for a bit.

Getting them changed and dressed and out the door is like coordinating a shuttle launch, and 90% of the time one of them decides to poop and needs a change while the other is all bundled up and howling.

So you grab toys, and snacks, not because you want to haul the 97 bags and thingamabobs, but to keep the children quiet and not bother others. You leave the house, realizing that you are in sweats or some other state of disarray you would never have tolerated pre-kids.

So after the dressing, and changing, and packing up, and getting out, you are finally on the sidewalk after what is, at minimum, over an hour. You take a walk to get them fresh air, because it is horrible to keep children inside an apartment all day and not get some air, even though it is 1,000 times easier not to go through the ordeal.

After an hour, it's cold, you decide to go to a cafe or restaurant. Maybe you are there 20 minutes. But it's the first time you have had adult contact all day, and it's nice to have at least that little "normalcy". You give some toys and Cheerios to the kids so they will be occupied while you are there. You look at the newspaper of the person next to you ( you yourself haven't read a paper through since 2007).

You pack up to go home, and Child 1 is fussing, Child 2 needs to get changed and is starting to cry. You race to pack up and get out before the caterwauling, apologize to the waitress, and dash home, brushing by pedestrians to get home before there is a full-blown tantrum and before Child 2 gets severe diaper rash.

A day in the life.

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