Brian Chen serial emailed Apple's CEO; Heidi Montag was relentlessly huffy; and Kathy Griffin was endlessly honest. The Twitterati kept at it.

Robert Scoble and Karen Wickle joked about bathrooms and private parts, respectively, at Google IO; Khloe Kardashian let her husband down; and Martha Stewart was clinically obsessed with Starbucks. The Twitterati regressed a little.

Diablo Cody downed some performance-enhancing substandces; Dr. Drew and Bristol Palin took a bite out of the teen sex scene; and Jack Dorsey fed us an update on his whereabouts. The Twitterati were feeling snacky.

Joy Behar smoothed things over with her Fox News nemesis; Ashton Kutcher fixed his drinking problem; and Facebook indulged in drinking and rehab at the same time. The Twitterati patched things up.

The White House Correspondents' Association dinner is tonight, and it's the perfect mix of self-congratulation, celebrity-worship and Justin Bieber. Everyone's already there, here are some things from their twitter accounts. (You can watch live coverage here.)

A New York Times writer heard Facebook's CEO doesn't believe in secrets; a Facebook flack disapproved of the writer's secrets; and Barry Diller's wife refused to give up her fur secrets. The Twitterati sought loose lips.

A programmer sold his iPad abroad; a reporter auctioned his mom's iPad on eBay; and a media consultant ceremoniously reboxed his iPad. The Twitterati were saying goodbye to their not-so-magical Apple slates — or watching people who did.

Kevin Pollak shared a Christopher Walken quote; Google's CEO was deemed horribly awesome; and Erin Biba's bank has changed this time, he swears. The Twitterati reveled in dysfunction.

Kim Severson pioneered dark food humor; Young Platinum pioneered a new level of Twitter transparency; and Melissa Gilbert gave Sac-town a pioneer's compliment. The Twitterati led the bandwagons.

John Hodgman wants you to cover up; Rebecca Dana wants you to imagine a serious Today; and Ludacris wants to know how to thwart your chastity plans. The Twitterati were instructional.

Jakob Dylan rocked Rupert Murdoch's minions; a Googler chatted with the Chinese police; and Diablo Cody announced her miniature kinda-
human.

Megan McCarthy wondered why the New York Times hates West Coast gossips; Natalie Eshaya caught a cheater; and Julia Allison did not know what her students were thinking. The Twitterati were confused and dismayed.

Jeremy Piven had an exhaustion relapse; Sarah Austin dreamed of a new ride; and Martha Stewart got a little overexcited. The Twitterati suffered collective mood swings.

Joey Lucas plotted a return to TV; Jennifer 8. Lee spotted a trend; and Roger Ebert issued a cinematic fatwa. The Twitterati were up to their old tricks.

Bow Wow carpet-bombed Twitter; Graydon Carter's hair hit the social scene; and Lynn Fox called herself a mean name. The Twitterati were out, about and running off at the mouth.

Kate Boehret could run your conference better; Max Levchin could do your "health care reform" better; and Jamie Poniewozik can do your paranoia better. The Twitterati were one up, even when they were down.

LeVar Burton saw another famous face at Ralph's; Alyssa Milano saw her authorship challenged; and Jolie O'Dell saw her job sail away. The Twitterati watched ruefully.

John Carney faced an unruly mob; Courtney Reimer faced an extraordinary financial statement; and Shane Richmond faced crazy musicians. The Twitterati could not be predictably rattled.

Zach Klein and Megan McCarthy tried to hustle their way out of Austin; Brian Stelter and Ana Marie Cox wished bourbon on their audience; and Jeff Jarvis helped an old-media addict escape denial. South by Southwest changed the Twitterati.

Hiroko Tabuchi took New York Times transparency to new levels; Mike Sampson found big trouble in little Austin; and Anthony Ha discovered a door was closed to him. Travel troubled the Twitterati.