Gawker: Tyra Banks

John McCain's Cold War With Tina Fey

Ryan Tate — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 06:29:52 EST

Tina Fey was "frosty" and "awkward" with John McCain on the Saturday Night Live set. Which is weird because McCain has been so polished and friendly in all his other televised appearances. [Scoop]
Barack Obama has sewn up the crucial Tyra Banks endorsement. Presumably, the talk-show host waited until the last minute to keep us all in suspense. [Us]
A "snarling" Diane Sawyer is asking her gang, the Good Morning Americas, why Barbara Walters and her posse of simps at The View are moving in on GMA's territory. Page Six is forecasting a bloody turf war. [P6]
Unsurprisingly, Shannen Doherty is not too concerned with the future of print media or of the modeling skanks at Radar's party. [P6]
Peaches Geldof "forgot" to pay for something before removing it from a store. For the fourth time. The latest shoplifting accident was at a clothing boutique in East London. [Sun]
While trying to reconcile with ex-husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears is communicating with her terrible paparazzo ex, from her crazy days. "Adnan searches the Internet for photos of her and then calls and comments on her outfits and her hair, and she loves it." [National Enquirer]
Joaquin Phoenix is acting weird. Drunk/high weird? Unclear. [P6]
Mickey Rourke was going to kill this guy who raped his friend, but was stopped by a priest. No further details are available at this time, or probably ever. [Sun]

Jobless Single People Can Now Blog For Tyra Banks For Free

Richard — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:51:00 EDT

As every magazine known to man begins to die, you, dear writers, may soon find yourselves without employ. Well you're in luck because that glowing thing that makes the word typies actually, with the help of your phone line, hosts a whole series of online "publications." Like this website or the new and improved Radar or! The website for crazy former supermodel Tyra Banks' talk show! Yes indeed, they are looking for both woman and man bloggers to "blog about their ideals" (curse you, candy commercial) and talk about dating and stuff. So not only do you get to work for a megalomaniac like Banks, but you also get to do it for free. But the really sad thing about this? A tipster tells us the listing was posted on a J-School jobs board. :( Read the posting after the jump, then apply!!

The Tyra Banks Show in NYC is looking for freelance writers. The website for our show basically operates as an online magazine and a popular segment is "Single & Fierce". Currently we are looking for both single men & women to blog about their experiences in the dating scene. The tone will range from comedic misadventures to sweet, romantic, "oh they've fallen in love!"

We would unfortunately not be able to offer any pay, but the writers would be able to blog from home and get some good clips on a reputable name. [Ed. note: That sentence is sadder than all of 'Life Is Beautiful']

Single & Fierce: Ladies
Tyrashow.com is looking for five, fabulous ladies to write for our dating column. Single & Fierce is an interactive blog written by a group of single women in cities across the country. These fun, intelligent, sexy ladies are going to put themselves out there, cruising every man hangout we can think of, hitting up dating events and sharing the details of their personal lives as a single woman looking for a good guy. Each week, these women will dish all about the single life — dates they've been on, issues with an ex and everything in between! If you're a single and fierce lady who has dating stories that your friends crave — and you're ready share them with a whole new audience — we want to get to know you.

Single & Fierce: Men
Tyrashow.com is looking for a few good men to give us the scoop on dating from a man's point of view. Each week, you'll give us insight into the mysterious minds of men as you answer dating/love/relationship/sex questions submitted by our viewers. Girls are always dying to know what guys are really thinking — this is your chance to let us know! We want you to give women straight answers from your point of view. [Ed. note: Aren't the only men who would apply to this homosexuals?]

To Apply:
Send a note explaining why you're perfect for this position, a resume and applicable writing samples to Christina Belloise, Web Writer, at christina.belloise@tyratv.com. You'll write one post a week for Tyrashow.com, which receives millions of hits each week! Men: be sure to let us know if you're the nice guy, the bad boy or a big-time flirt. We're looking for different perspectives and want to get to know you.

Post Your America's Next Top Model Comments Here

Ryan Tate — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:01:37 EDT

Tipster: " I REALLY need you to mention... the bizarre sequence during the makeover where Tyra is dressed like a psycho fairy thing and speaking in the most bizarre (maybe really bad pseudo-British) accent."

Has The Internet Ruined Your Life? Let Tyra Banks Help You!

Richard — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:58:00 EDT

Hey internet trolls, troll-victims, and other people whose lives have been ruined by the buzzy, robotic forces of the internet! Would you like to go on television and share your woes with millions of Tyra Banks fans? If so, we have good news for you. Producers for the Tyra Banks Show, a talk show of sorts in which a thirty-something former model bellows about herself and her bowel movements for an hour, are looking for people to appear on an episode about the various wicked pitfalls of the web.

"Have you or anyone you know had their life ruined because of the internet? Have something with blogs, myspace, facebook affected your entire life in a negative way? We want to hear your stories ASAP," the casting call pries. Yay! Now you can ruin your life all over again, in front of a larger audience! Here's hoping our dear old friend John Fitzgerald Page makes an appearance. Full casting notice is below.

[RealityWanted via Maura]

Everything Sucks For Madonna Right Now

Ryan Tate — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:59:30 EDT

Madonna gave a 30-minute speech at her 50th birthday party. And frankly she was kind of sad that mainly nobodies showed up and not her celebrity friends. Also, the singer may not be able to get the Malawian "orphan" of her choosing. Madonna consoled herself by going to a strip club.
Here some pictures from inside Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres' DeWedding. [Mirror]
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's breakup officially reached the trash-talking phase. Apparently John was cheap and leached off Jen's Hollywood money. He also leached off her celebrity by chatting up the paparazzi. The dirt on Aniston should be out in the next news cycle. [Scoop]
Patrick Swayze, who has pancreatic cancer, is reportedly still smoking. [Sun]
There's a sad celebrity shortage at the big Republican convention for some strange reason. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't confirmed, and he's an elected Republican politician. [R&M]
Tyra Banks doesn't care how long you've been waiting for her show to start. [P6]

Why Did Tyra and 'Harper's Bazaar' Do This Terrible Michelle Obama Thing?

Pareene — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:49:22 EDT

Classy fashion rag Harper's Bazaar ran a photo spread of insane model and television personality Tyra Banks dressed as possible first lady Michelle Obama. Why? Because... Tyra's black... and a lady? Sure! Daily Intel suggests that maybe the real Michelle Obama turned them down, but we're willing to give Bazaar's editors the benefit of the doubt and assume that this was their stupid, stupid plan from the very beginning. They released a little video from the shoot, and Tyra says some nonsense and a Bazaar editor says some nonsense and then they all go to White Castle, because they are all higher than you've ever been in your life. Video below!

Tyra Banks Leaches Off Obama's Celebrity

Ryan Tate — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:58:05 EDT

Harper's Bazaar's much-discussed photo spread of Tyra Banks as Michelle Obama is finally online, and my but is it ambitious. Also, cringey: Model-industry booster Banks is depicted behind the desk in a (poor) imitation Oval Office, in a strapless gown at a formal state dinner and even, as pictured, laughing at a newspaper story about fat white bitters with President Barry Hussein, presumably after making elitist love in Harvard sweatshirts. Wasn't it just yesterday that it was politicians acting like fools in hopes of stealing some celebrity buzz, rather than the other way around? Presidential candidates were appearing on Saturday Night Live, the Daily Show and even professional wrestling matches to promote themselves. Barack Obama always seemed the most aloof in this process, and now it's clear why: He has as much to offer the celebrity-industrial complex as it offers him. [Harper's Bazaar via Wonkette]

Tyra Banks Pretends To Be Married To Barack Obama

Ryan Tate — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 08:20:55 EDT

Tyra Banks is to dress as Michelle Obama for Harper's Bazaar, thus ending all rumors about the prospective first lady being kind of crazy and off the handle. [NYM, P6]
Ryan Adams is supposedly a big jerk who doesn't bathe, Googles himself constantly and regularly verbally berated Mandy Moore. When presented with this allegation, this is the strongest his flack could muster: "I don't think any of that stuff is true." He sounds reasonably certain, people! [Post]
Rosie O'Donnell left her apartment door open! Dead?? Robbed?? Or just hiding hiding from Julia Allison? [Julia Allison]
Conrad Black's wife is shocked — SHOCKED — that Henry Kissinger was conniving and Machiavellian with regard to his friend Black. Who would expect that from Henry Kissinger?? [Post]
The CEO of Blackbook admitted models are invited to his New York and Miami apartments for "shoots," but said he's not around when the come by. Or at least he wasn't around at the shoot in Miami. [P6]
OK! and Us Weekly are supposedly sending "twice as many staffers" to the Democratic convention as to the Republican convention. Wait, OK! and Us Weekly are even going to the Republican convention? [Daily News]
When she's not making Anderson Cooper blush, CNN's Erica Hill will now sometime tease other people on the CBS Early Show, apparently. [TV Newser]
Someone's trying to develop a reality show about cougars in New York. [P6]

Should Barack Get a Talk Show, or Should Tyra Be President?

ian spiegelman — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 13:59:30 EDT

CBS president Les Moonves on talk show host / former supermodel Tyra Banks: “We’re in a new day. We’ve seen with Tyra that the audience is changing. In the past, her audience would have been primarily African-American, but the television audience in general is becoming increasingly colorblind, and younger viewers are particularly colorblind. It’s similar to the pattern we’re seeing with voters and Barack Obama—he and Tyra have a similar appeal to the youth audience.” [NYT]

Janice Hates Tyra!

ian spiegelman — Sun, 18 May 2008 10:53:47 EDT

"First Supermodel" Janice Dickinson favored some lucky Page Sixer with one of her patented over-sharing meltdowns the other day. Apparently, Dickinson carries around a photo she tore from a gossip rag showing fellow former model/talk show host Tyra Banks holding a copy of Dickinson's book, No Lifeguard on Duty. "Dickinson showed us the torn-out magazine photo with a caption saying Banks was on her way to speak with young girls and offer her advice. 'And she's using my book, Dickinson fumed. 'I mean, the thing looks so worn it's like she's been reading it on the toilet. It's pathetic. Where's her originality? Does she have no shame?' Dickinson, who's in talks with NBC for her own chat show, said she'll invite Banks on to confront her."

"Next, she said [Kevin] Federline 'makes me sick. His earlobes are stretched out from all the diamonds he stole from Britney Spears. He's a pig and a loser and I want to take him down [...] Dickinson, 53, also dished to us about her menopause. 'I'm taking hormone pills and I mix them up, I'm like falling asleep standing up,' she laughed. 'I'm having night flashes and heat strokes.'" [P6]

Did Tyra Banks Fix America's Next Top Model?

Nick Denton — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:12:18 EDT

On Wednesday night's finale on the CW, Whitney Thompson became the first plus-size model to win the ANTM competition, a result met with tepid politically correct applause. But not from Gawker's readers: "Are you seriously not gonna say anything about the fact that some fat girl won ANTM over the one who got an excision?" one asks. "It's sooo unfair I don't even now why to make myself puke anymore!" Well, the outcome may indeed have been unfair. Some mean-spirited critics have noted that show creator and host Tyra Banks, a former supermodel, is above her fighting weight. And a friend of a friend of blogger Rich Juzwiak says the show's makers may have—shockingly!—planned on a plus-size victory from this season's very start.

The claim is that Whitney did not try out for top model but was approached on a plane by someone from the show. She was already doing modeling as a size 2 or 4 but because she was closer to a 4 she was a little too big for the show as a regular model. They told her that if she went and gained 10-20 pounds they would definitely put her on the show as "the plus-size model". [via Juzwiak's Four Four]

Tyra Banks Gives You One Warning About Miley

Ryan Tate — Thu, 01 May 2008 07:33:26 EDT

Tyra Banks ended the Miley Cyrus controversy, issuing the following fatwa on The View: "She is a 15-year-old, and I just wish everybody would leave her alone!" Follow this edict or Tyra will claw your eyes out, then stab you, then set you on fire, all using only her tightly-controlled stare of rage. [Showbiz Spy]
The Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer thing may be, horrifically, an ongoing concern. [Egotastic]
Britney Spears will get to spend Mother's Day with her kids. Also, ex-husband Kevin Federline calls Spears his "lady," and Spears says "I love you" at end of phone calls with him. [Sun]
Madonna repeatedly and unsuccessfully invited Justin Timberlake to discover her Wardrobe Malfunction over the course of several agonizing minutes. [Daily Mail]
Wait, so now Rob Lowe's wife sexually harassed their supposedly extortionate nanny? And a cock ring is involved? [TMZ]

Hannah Takes the Stairs, Gypsy Takes the Escalator

Richard — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:44:00 EDT

[Tyra Banks, model/TV personality/IBS sufferer, at LAX yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Bloomberg Is Giving Us This, When He Should Be Giving Us This

Richard — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:44:00 EDT

[Tyra Banks shoveling dirt with New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg for a segment of her talk show today; image via Splash]

Happy Friday

Richard — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:35:00 EDT

Tyra Banks and her Next Top Models playing fun posing games.

Tina Fey, A Whore And A Manic Depressive Walk Into A Bar...

Ryan Tate — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:22:53 EDT

Is 30 Rock the new Saturday Night Live? Tina Fey, SNL alum and 30 Rock creator, is talking about bringing onto the show that whore chick Ashley Dupre and also that less-insane-by-the-day singer Britney Spears. Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan don't bring enough crazy to the party? Really?
Spears is also looking at hosting the Kids' Choice Awards at the end of the month. So many things could go wrong, and it would be so awesome, on some sick and twisted level, if they did. [OK!]
But Spears won't have a meltdown, because she's on the right track, and you can tell because she now has good teeth. Or at least good teeth products. From a dentist and everything! [Popsugar]
Puppy-and-kitten-hating monster Paris Hilton adopted another victim from a thoughtless animal shelter on Long Island. The doomed creature is a West Highland terrier. Former dog-sitter: "Last time I watched her dog, she forgot I had it and assumed it was lost." [MSNBC, second item]
Diva model Tyra Banks is going to quit America's Next Top Model or maybe stab photographer Jay Manuel instead. She is lethal. [OK!]
Scientology's inner-city ambassador Kimora Lee Simmons filed for divorce from her husband, hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons, now that she's reportedly knocked up by her boyfriend. She wants the kids, and for Russell only to be able to visit with "security personnel" present, since he's the one who is crazy. [People]
Yes, Kylie Minogue, gay techo laureate, is coming to the U.S. with her new album, but it's only for stupid TV appearances, no concerts. On the bright side, who's to say she won't show up at a club or two? [Queerty]
Comedian Robin Williams is hilariously improvising his latest divorce. This one lasted nearly 20 years; she had been nanny to his child. That guy is so wacky. [SF Chronicle]
Gossip Girl dude Chace Crawford is no longer dating American Idol fameball Carrie Underwood. Possibly because he's too, uh, "close" to this guy from 'N Sync. [Perez]
Hills star Heidi Montag wants look-alikes to work as models during a launch party for her fashion line. Must effectively hate on Lauren Conrad during the tryout. [Us]

Soul Killing Reality Show Now Rampages In Corporeal World

Richard — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:01:37 EDT

Having already reduced their audience's minds and spirits to sad, pulpy smithereens, the crew at America's Next Top Model has now turned its destructive gaze upon real estate. Michael Marvisi, the landlord who rented a beautiful TriBeCa loft to the show's producers, to house 14 crazed, near feral contestants, says that the place was so damaged after their stay that he lost a prospective tenant and has had to spend thousands of dollars on repairs. There was extensive water damage in the bathroom, $20,000 curtains ruined, holes in the walls from crew members drilling (and high heels and fire pokers and talon-like finger nails), there was evidence of food fighting, with ketchup and coffee splattered everywhere, and, perhaps the most haunting and poetic detail, lipstick smeared on the walls. The producers offered to settle for a reported $125,000 (after their initial offer of a Seventeen magazine photo shoot and a Cover Girl contract was deemed to be completely useless by pretty much everyone), but Marvisi has, of course, decided to pursue litigation. Tyra Banks could not be reached for comment and a a $1,500 electricity bill remains unpaid. Much like the women who have competed on the show in years past. [P6]

Julia Allison's Therapy Chat Could Change Her Forever

Ryan Tate — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:46:15 EST

Julia Allison went to sunny South Florida for sunbathing and a geekfest this weekend and got, perhaps, more Gawker coverage than she bargained for. A bunch of people leered at her nipple, there was rampant speculation about her connection to Digg founder Kevin Rose, and after the whole thing was over Allison posted some angsty words on her Tumblr. Then, today, Allison entered into some impromptu unlicensed counseling with, we are reliably informed, Gawker blogger Nick Douglas, in a chat Allison posted to her blog. Douglas' advice? At the moment Time Out New York columnist and Star editor Allison's fame is at new heights, she should "step away from the camera" and "run everything by Rachel Sklar," the Huffington Post editor. Hmmm. Given Allison wrote she finds blogging "FUN!!!" even in the wake of having her chest ogled on the Web, why retreat now, when a big media gig, trophy husband or both could be right around the corner? Read Douglas' advice and post your own after the jump. Read at least the last couple of lines of the Allison chat, they are priceless:

* Julia: But I really like blogging.
* Julia: and people - most people - like reading it.
* [redacted]: more people are reading the negative stories about you than are reading your blog.
* Julia: you're right.
* [redacted]: of course you also have life choices to change
* Julia: yeah, yeah, I get all the disadvantages (ruinous personal life) with none of the benefits.
* [redacted]: yes
* [redacted]: to change that will take sacrifice
* Julia: what do you consider sacrifice? free alcohol that I didn't even drink? hahah
* [redacted]: sacrifice means stepping away from the camera
* [redacted]: honing in on your work
* Julia: oh.
* [redacted]: it means letting the world know less about you for a bit
* [redacted]: whom do you want to be?
* [redacted]: oprah?
* [redacted]: tyra?
* Julia: yeah, I hear you.
* Julia: should i just tone down the blogging?
* Julia: or stop it completely?
* Julia: and what if my future is a videoblog?
* [readacted]: put more thought into the messages you're sending with it
* [readacted]: run everything by rachel sklar
* [readacted]: you won't want to listen to her recommendations
* [readacted]: but you should
* Julia: HAHAHAH
* Julia: I'm so worried that then ... I won't be able to have any FUN!!!
* [redacted]: right
* [redacted]: winning at life is hard work!
* Julia: I always thought an exception could be made. ;)

Bonus: A quick chat with Nick Douglas.

Tyra Banks Almost Kills A Model

Ryan Tate — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 21:25:44 EST

Everything was going so well for Kimberly, 20, of Worcester, Massachusetts on America's Next Top Model. She had a "stunning" photo shoot, "one of the best so far." Then she had to go and tell host Tyra "Cross Me And I Will Claw Your Eyes Out" Banks that "fashion does not interest me at all... I don't find it interesting." Oh holy god. The judges' jaws dropped, the other models started to lose it, and Tyra yelled "WHY DID YOU COME HERE?!" Never mind that Tyra cut six other models to keep this girl in the running, which is bad enough.No: You do not badmouth fashion to this lioness of modeling. The girl of course barely made it out alive, mostly because she agreed to leave the show. Hopefully on Wednesday Tyra will have to snap someone's neck like a twig, because watching people (try to) cross Banks is awesome:

Tyra Grills Roly-Poly GOP Also-Ran

Pareene — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:51:24 EST

Mike Huckabee, who is still going around pretending to run for President, who also used to be fat, got skinny, and is now getting fat again, and who is also a crazy religious nut who hides his paleolithic views behind a delightful sense of self-deprecating humor and convincing charm, was on Tyra today. Because Tyra is America's Official Ambassador To the Gays, and because she's not afraid of the tough questions, she asked him to explain his position on the Homosexual Agenda. Huckabee responded with impressive candor while saying absolutely nothing (except that homosexuality is a choice and a sin). Maybe this is why Tim Gunn was sad! (Also we kind of want Tyra to moderate the next presidential debate! She's... more reasonable and serious than Tim Russert, and asks more pertinent questions. What a country!) Video below. Also: most important photograph ever, attached.

Tyra Banks' Novel Idea: A Reality Show!

Richard — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 12:10:24 EST

Because life is nothing more than a series of grim accidents and cruel punishments, former model Tyra Banks is making another reality show, adding to the steaming pile that consists of her talk show, America's Next Top Model, and the upcoming fashion magazine challenge. And, she's teaming up with Ashton Kutcher to do it. Reportedly the show will deal with people competing in a beauty pageant and will have some as yet undisclosed twist. How about the twist is that there aren't any cameras! That way it would just be grotesque people milling about in relative obscurity, constantly complimenting Tyra, leaving the rest of us to carry on with our regular, pertinent lives (i.e. watching Real Housewives of New York City). [Hollywood Reporter] Just for the F of it, after the jump find video of Tyra walking off her own set during a segment. It involves people talking about eating cat poop.

Tyra Banks Wears Islamic Thing, Too

Ryan Tate — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:06:18 EST

Tyra Banks is not going to stand by and let you smear Barack Obama for looking like a turban-wearing proto-terrorist. She is going to get all muslim-esque too, in solidarity, at the gym, where she secretly hopes Anderson Cooper will show up and see her bravery. Stalker tip: "Saw Tyra Banks at the Equinox in SoHo. Geez that woman is tall. And amazing looking. And so not fat! Wearing a kind of sporty-turban type deal on her head. Which she should maybe reconsider."

Tyra Banks Convinces Loser Huckabee To Swallow Gay Agenda And Like It

Ryan Tate — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:33:33 EST

The last time we checked in with conservative Republican Mike Huckabee, he was sensibly skipping the big annual conservative donors conference to help Tyra Banks tape an episode of her stripper-friendly talk show. In the course of the show, the loser presidential candidate was of course converted into a gay-loving liberal, by Tyra Banks, in New York, and he's forgotten all about how he was going to persecute Mexican gay abortionists. Here's what he told Tyra Banks about why he loves the homosexual agenda:

TYRA BANKS: Do you want the gay vote?

GOVERNOR HUCKABEE: Sure, I want every vote. Seriously, I want to be president of everybody. And I can disagree with people over a choice they make in their life or a over a lifestyle and still be their president and still say I want to keep you free, I want to keep your country safe, I want to make your taxes lower not higher. I want to solve some issues like the problems we have in education and rebuild our health care system, and I think whether a person is straight or gay, they want a president who is solving issues, not just pointing out differences among people... . I’ve had people who are gay that worked on my staff. It’s not like I’m some homophobe.

Then he says being gay is a sin, but makes it sound like he means "light sin." And he says he's against gay marriage but he tolerates the viewpoints of people who support gay marriage. Here's why all the right-wing Republicans threw up their hands and decided to just vote for John McCain:

TYRA BANKS: “I’m asking you so many questions about this because I love the gays and the gays love me. And I know I cannot walk down the street here in New York City if I didn’t press that issue and truly ask you that.”

GOVERNOR HUCKABEE: “I think you should. I think people will respect my views on that; I respect theirs. The great thing about America is, we can have totally different viewpoints and we can do it without having animosity and hatred. This is one of the great countries where you can have sharp disagreements without killing each other over it. That’s where I think we need to celebrate what is great about America, and that is, we all don’t have to agree.”

[Faded Youth]

The Only Clip of America's Next Top Model You Will Ever Need to See

Richard — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 10:51:19 EST

Did you watch the premiere, on Wednesday night, of the newest iteration of Tyra Banks' hop hop hopping mad clusterfuck America's Next Top Model? You didn't??? You mean you didn't see where the girl talks about drinking her own breast milk or when one lady asks another lady who was circumcised at the age of seven back in Somalia if she "feels like less of a woman"? Well, I'd like to say I didn't either, but sadly, I was coerced. It being the most hideous show ever created, Top Model does warrant some attention, but not too much. Like, don't actually watch it or anything. Instead watch the provided clip, after the jump. It's long, but it's the only nine minutes and twenty five seconds of this show you will ever need to subject yourself to. Oh, and there's a lap dance!

Tyra and Friends Bravely Burn Bras While Wearing Other Bras

Richard — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:17:17 EST

Loopy, possibly bewigged former model and current TV juggernaut Tyra Banks may has a confuse. Today's episode of her self-titled talk show is all about breasts and bras; finding the right bras, getting rid of the wrong ones, and all that empowering stuff. The centerpiece of the episode seems to be some sort of bra bonfire in which Tyra and her audience members gather, hobo-like, 'round a flaming trash can and toss their old bras in to burn burn burn. Did Tyra see a picture of Feminism once and mistakenly take it as instructions for bra disposal? I don't know. She is always confusing, but rarely more so than today. I guess I just don't know much about bras. Nor does Alex Pareene, who could only offer the insight that they are burning bras while wearing other ones. Also, I managed to spell Sheila's name wrong. Boys! Video after the jump.

Loser Huckabee Can't Even Demagogue Properly

Ryan Tate — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 08:53:08 EST

Sure, Republican Mike Huckabee says he still wants to be the President Of Stopping Gay Heathen Mexicans. But when the big conservative conference pitches its tent, and even liberal John "Juan" McCain braves booing and possible stoning to speak there, where is Huckabee? In Failuretown, that's where, attending a taping of the Tyra Banks show, which is a "talk" show where a stripper encourages everyone to strip. After the jump, MSNBC is shocked at Huckabee's decision, and Tyra strips.

[Crooks and Liars]

Tyra Banks May Have Had An Unfortunate Accident

Richard — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:58:52 EST

Former New York "It" boy and Paper magazine blogger Fabian Basabe writes on his blog today that the supermodel turned TV personality, um, soiled herself at Fashion Week. Basabe was filming an interview in the W suite at the tents, and suddenly a whole cadre of people barged in and kicked him out. The reason? Tyra needed to change her clothes. Because of the incident. Apparently they had a spare change of clothes all lined up which makes him wonder if it's happened before. Obviously we have no real confirmation on this. I'm not really sure if Tyra Banks pooping herself is newsworthy, but maybe Basabe's continued usage of the icky term "messed herself" is? Apologies. [Fabian Basabe Blog]

"Moment of Truth" Proves Completely Obvious Fact

Richard — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:02:09 EST

Today on Tyra Banks' show, Moment of Truth host Mark L. Walberg, who's bringing his lie detecting equipment! Tyra takes the test! They ask if she's jealous of Oprah, and, while managing to call Oprah old, she says no! Of course that's a huge, honking lie! Oh, Tyra, young self-obsessed person that you are. What better life is there for you to covet than someone who started off cheesy (though, not as cheesy as your America's Next Top Model), and became IMPORTANT. Poor Tyra, so desperately wanting money. And a school in Africa. And cultural cachet. A sad, plain truth has been laid bare. Video after the jump.

Every Profession Must Have Its Reality Show

Richard Lawson — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:11:43 EST

The CW announced today that it will be airing a new Tyra Banks-produced reality competition show about fashion magazine assistants. Oh my god! It's just like that movie with Mia Thermopolis and that old lady! But the new show will not just be about deadlines and content. Tyra's co-producer says: "[The contestants are] trying to prove themselves as aspiring fashionistas, that they have a sense of style and savvyness, all the things to make it in the fashion world." That sounds great. Really, really great. After the jump we'll look at this and three other shows in this increasingly popular "trade" genre.

Art
The classy new competition show about the art world, produced by Sarah Jessica Parker, will more than likely be as big a debacle as the little-seen Deitch Artstar. Not to underestimate the elegant tastes of the general American television viewership, but you might as well show a fancy professor talking about some fancypants book for an hour. It's the same frickin' thing: BORING. Oh, and it will also be boring for people who actually like art. Literally, watching paint dry. Also, accepting that we have no concrete information on the structure of the show, how do you get real artists to compete in this? We anticipate many Santa Fe residents and a lot of Enya playing in the background.

Design
Top Design, that silly Bravo misfire ("See you later, decorator!") is getting something of a reboot from The Magical Elves, the production team behind Top Chef and Project Runway (both showing signs of age themselves.) Last season was dull and peculiar, with vague budgetary allowances and a muted, eerily serene Todd Oldham as host. Our suspicion is that such a show is better relegated to lesser-watched cable, like HGTV.

Magazines
As mentioned above, Tyra Banks' new project will focus on the exciting world of assisting vainglorious assholes at a fashion magazine. At the end of every episode, teams will compete to create a winning page for the magazine's Book. Honestly, the show sounds like it could be interesting, if only Tyra Banks was not involved. Her hand seems to be more adept at carefully placing pictures of herself everywhere she possibly can than steering a television program towards that ephemeral specter, Quality. Though, it may be fun if she pops up occasionally, wearing little spectacles, because this show is about reading.

Blogging:
There is an online reality show called Ultimate Blogger. A show (albeit on the internet) about people typing. Worked for Doogie Howser!

Little Scotty Mouthbreather Goes Mainstream

Alex Blagg — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:54:28 EST

According to an unsolicited, totally undesired MySpace message I received yesterday from Little Scotty Mouthbreather himself (full chill-inducing text after the jump), our existentially-handicapped hiptard rapper friend will be appearing along with his "group" the V.I.P. Party Boys on tomorrow's "celeb rehab" episode of the Tyra Banks Show. Tyra, in her infinite wisdom, invited Scotty and the Party Boys onto the show to discuss the manner in which "sex and drugs get tangled with fame". And by fame, he means being the object of ridicule.

Hey Alex, First of all, I wanna thank you for helping launch my career as NYC nighlife personality/muse/chantuesse/rapstress. I owe you the best blow J. of your life!!!
I also wanna let you know that my rap group is having the best week ever and will be featured on the Tyra Show this Wed. along with Brigette Nelson, Dr. Drew and some dude from that band from the 90s 'Crazy Town'. Things get really nitty gritty!!!! so check it out!!!!

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/thisweek/index.html

xoxoxox
Jonny Makeup aka Scotty Mouthbreath

PS Im soooo bummed that you arent doing Gawker anymore....I have some sweeeeet pics on me and my BFF Leotard out on the town in Miami!!!!!

[Horrible photograph of Little Scotty Mouthbreather a.k.a. Jonny Makeup via his MySpace page.]

Tyra Banks Shafts Steamed Staffers!

Joshua Stein — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:45:02 EST

"Yesterday," writes an insider, "was the last day of shooting for the 2007 season at 'The Tyra Banks Show,' finishing with the Holiday Show. The lucky audience received not only the customary gift bags filled with hair and make-up products, but also an amazing haul; which included fur-lined boots, a designer dress, diamond stud earrings and necklace, and an AT&T Video Phone, all with a Le Sportsac bag to carry it home." And last night was also the holiday party at Pianos—what did the staffers, many of whom came with Tyra from Los Angeles, get?

NOTHING. Many people at the party said they would have been thrilled with what the audience got, but the staff received no holiday gifts at all, not even a T-shirt or mug. On any other talk show, holiday gifts are a tradition, from gift cards or iPods to trips, luggage, or envelopes full of cash. Jerry Springer is legendary for his generosity, and Tyra's girl Oprah is also well-known for her largesse to staff, giving them vacations and paying off mortgages. But the Tyra staff got NOTHING."

Nothing? Au contraire. They got to a) party at Pianos! b) work with the Conversationista of our time AND c) see the glittery jittery avaricious eyes of the feral audience members scrum for fur-lined boots and diamonds and that's what Christmas is, or should be, all about.

'ANTM' Contestants Are Growing Steadily Fatter!

Emily Gould — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:30:28 EST

No, not you, Tyra Banks! You are looking positively svelte on this cycle of ANTM, even adroitly covering up your "vagina arms" most of the time. (Your stank attitude is another story—that moment on last night's episode when you corrected Twiggy's pronunciation of "Bianca" was salty. She has a British accent, okay?) Anyway, Intern Mary has compiled the body mass indexes of every contestant on every cycle since the dawn of America's Next Top Model. A BMI of below 18.5 is considered underweight, fyi.

Britney Spears' Career Is Back On Track. Really!

Emily Gould — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:01:06 EST

Britney Spears' new album Blackout will finish out the week at the top of the charts. Related: guess astrology isn't b.s.! [TMZ]

Why are people giving Jay-Z trouble? Apparently his "out of retirement" album is not going well, by which Page Six means the single isn't on the radio every 5 minutes. Will there be a new Hot 97 shoot-out over this? [P6]

Talk and reality show host Tyra Banks has a new boyfriend—a "gorgeous model type." Mm hmm. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]

Yalie and "Top Model" reject Victoria Marshman ...

Emily Gould — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:45:41 EDT

Yalie and "Top Model" reject Victoria Marshman came off so evil on the show, but an IvyGate interview paints a different picture. She reveals the behind-the-scenes secrets of the show—sleep and nicotine deprivation are key—and talks about how Tyra "sicced her bodyguards" on her for taking off her high heeled shoes after being ousted (Tyra thought she was going to throw them at her!) [IvyGate]

Emily Gould — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:51:47 EDT

From the mailbag: "Tyra [Banks] wanted to get nude with audience members. Her militant producer (female) WANTED my Blackberry. I left. She had the whole audience leave for an hour while she took naked pictures with volunteers from the audience. No shit!" Um, is "Blackberry" a euphemism in this context? [Image via Fourfour]

"My 'Tyra Banks Show' Hell"

abalk — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:35:58 EDT

We recently received an email with the subject line "Tyra Banks did not pay ConEd." It recounts the hellish ordeal one viewer endured as an audience member during the taping of "The Tyra Banks Show." Taut, gripping, and tragic, it almost reads like the Into Thin Air of talk show audience member tragedy narratives. Particularly if one of the Everest guides from Into Thin Air had confided to his charges that he was "on the rag." The entire compelling saga follows.

I went to the Tyra show on Tuesday (9-18). That show is boogie!!!!! The show was supposed to start at 11.45, around 12.30 they told us they were having technical problems. Finally at 1.30 Tyra came out to let the crowd know she was really sorry (side note: whoever wrote in a Tyra sighting and claimed she is skinny........... well she is not fat by any means, but they need their eyes checked) and ordered us pizza. If we could not eat pizza for dietary reasons, she was sorry but they could not afford the salad. She suggested eating the top off the pizza and licking the sauce off the bread - like she does. Trust me she does not lick the sauce off pizza, that girl enjoys a carb like the rest of us. Oh by the way - the technical problem was that the lights did not work. Finally around 2.15 they let us go outside. While standing around outside we noticed that pizza came in - with salad, drinks and breadsticks. I though she was just teasing us about not ordering salad and what a nice girl she is. I also noticed PA's carrying in bags from Bed Bath and Beyond. Stuff like pillows and tables - home stuff. As we were lead back to our seats through the backstage I saw that the stage hands were eating salad, pizza and drinking soda. Funny thing though - when we got to our seats no food?????? About half an hour later we were served pizza (single slice on a paper plate) and a 4 oz bottle of water. That's right no salad, breadsticks or soda. We have been there since 10 - it is now around 3. Also if you wanted more pizza you had it served by hand on a napkin because they ran out of paper plates. Finally around 5 the show starts, nothing spectacular but I noticed that on the show there was a segment where Tyra redecorates a couples apartment. She has the apartment staged in her studio. Tyra also claims to have shopped for herself. When they finally start the horrible decorating, I notice it is everything I saw the PA's returning from Bed Bath and Beyond with. Sorry but I do not want my apartment decorated by BBB. The show was about Expensive and Cheap clothes, make up, furniture and party planning. During the show Tyra keeps letting us know how cheap she is. By the looks of that show - she is too cheap. She admitted that she was bloated because she was on the rag - the back of her dress looked as if it had to be let out in order to fit.
I do not know if you care but it was pretty funny.

Oh, we care. And it is!

This Is The Best Cycle Of 'America's Next Top Model' Yet

Emily Gould — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:25:45 EDT

On last night's season premiere of America's Next Top Model, a homeless girl named Maritza came out onto the stage before judges Miss Jay, Jay Alexander, and Tyra Banks. Her cheeks were already slick with tears. "Why are you crying?" Tyra asked, affecting her trademark icecold laser stare accompanied by taut smile. "I'm just overwhelmed, I never thought I'd be standing here," sniffled Maritza. Tyra quickly forced Maritza to reiterate some facts that had been established in a pre-interview: she'd been in foster care, she'd been treated badly. "I've been... beat down by a lot of people. Raped, molested," Maritza quavered. "Why don't you talk about that?" Tyra suggested. Later in the episode, Maritza earnestly told the camera, "This [show] is the only way out for me." She didn't make it to the final 13. Duh!

Another casualty of the elimination round, which took place on a cruise ship ("We're all in the same boat!" an unusually perceptive contestant punned), was a contestant who never even spoke on camera. Her name flashed across the screen once or twice, though, and that name was I am not even kidding you at all Spontaniuese.

I swear, this show and Flavor of Love are becoming harder and harder to tell apart.

Another peak moment of Tyra bitchery last night was the moment when, after establishing that Ebony is a ghetto bitch because she had a hard childhood ("What was it like having a crackhead mom? You must be so happy to have the solid rock that is your grandmother!" "Actually she passed [sob!]"), Tyra said, "Don't think that I'm judging you."

Of course not, Tyra! What would a judge on a reality show be doing judging someone?

Another promising aspect of the show is Asperger's Syndrome Heather, whose whole thing is that she is modeling for the nerds, "the ones who sit in a corner." We are obligated to support her. "Words can't describe" how she feels to have made it to the top 13. Of course they can't, bitch, you have Asperger's!

Also there's one who goes to Yale. God, this really is going to be the best cycle ever.

Image via Fourfour

God, What Isn't Wrong With Dina Lohan?

Emily Gould — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 09:00:10 EDT

Dina Lohan is being sued for fraud. No, it has nothing to do with her "former Rockette" claim. [Page Six]

Tyra Banks' brother, an air force cadet, is getting shipped off to Iraq. [Page Six]

Us Weekly has finally diagnosed Britney Spears: she's "bipolar." And right now some genius usmagazine.com commenter is probably typing, "tht meens she haz secks with woman but only stripprs" [Us]

"Bobby Brown still thinks Osama Bin Laden is after him." [R&M]

Beyonce's Florida Face Plant Is Looking So Crazy Right Now

Emily Gould — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 09:03:06 EDT

Beyonce's fans disobeyed her orders not to put her onstage stair-tumbling in concert routine up on YouTube. Those jerks. It's here. [Page Six]

"Socialite" Dori Cooperman always drags her galpals down; Lindsay Lohan's just the latest "victim." [Page Six]

'Top Model' host and general figure of fun Tyra Banks is dating an i-banker. Haha, "banks," get it? [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]

Lindsay's camp is claiming she wasn't actually driving the car. Oh, Lindsay. The truth will set you free, Lindsay! Or maybe put you in jail, but you know what we mean. {TMZ]

Gossip Roundup: Spears To Become A Simpson?

Emily Gould — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 09:50:45 EDT

Though Jessica Simpson's rep denies it, rumors are swirling that her dad Joe wants to svengali up Britney Spears. [R&M]

Designer Marc Jacobs' ex-rentboy on and off bf still has notably loose lips, offering up quotes like "Marc has found his way; he's going to be sober for the rest of his life" and bragging about their "like, five fake break-ups." A Jacobs spokesperson says they're not back together. [NYO]

Gay, gay wedding bells are ringing for blog queen Andrew Sullivan and an actor named Eric. [NYO]

Anderson Cooper keeps his goodies under wraps in the showers at Equinox. [Page Six]

Russell Simmons and Tyra Banks "forgot" to pay their lunch tab. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]