The following profile originally appeared in the March 2011 issue of Vogue magazine.

The Associated Press profile of future President of the Milky Way Galaxy Lori Anne Madison who, at 6 years old, is the youngest person ever to gain entrance into the Scripps National Spelling Bee, is charming in that it finds her bounding around a nature preserve in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. searching for…

A team of Chinese and Canadian scientists announced on Wednesday that farmers had discovered a new species of dinosaur as big as a T-rex, covered in feathers, in a small quarry in northeast China. The dinosaurs, found in a pack of three, are the largest feathered animal ever discovered – alive or extinct.

Congratulations to brittle newsmatron Barbara Walters on landing a blockbuster exclusive with Syrian madman Bashar Al Assad, who is responsible for the wanton murder of 4,000 of his own men, women, and children. Or as Walters put it, a "mild-mannered ophthalmologist." It's time for her to go.

Matthew Winkler was down under last week, and on top of the world. The Bloomberg co-founder interviewed the Aussie prime minister, and gushed in a laudatory Australian profile that "it's really an extraordinary time to be around, to be alive, to be a journalist — to be at Bloomberg News.'' One of his reporters very…

Two filmmakers have sued Harvey and Bob Weinstein's studio for more than $114 million, claiming that the Weinsteins ruined five animated film projects with their "indecisiveness and general incompetence." They would have filed the lawsuit earlier, they say, but the Weinsteins paid them $500,000 in quasi-hush money to…

We've all heard the horror stories about uber-strict, bow tie-wearing Bloomberg News editor in chief Matthew Winkler instilling fear in his reporters over their use of the words "but" and "announce", or screaming at them for making mistakes, as he did in the infamous "The enemy is the human!" incident.

How is Matthew Winkler, bow-tied tyrant-in-chief at Bloomberg News, quashing his staffers' dreams today? By making his underlings suffer because of a grudge he has against one of the world's most prestigious papers, according to an insider [UPDATED below].

Did you know that today is "Loyalty Day"? It is. And Barack Hussein Obama has issued a proclamation, or "fatwa," making it illegal to disobey him. Rise up, people!

Barack Obama's been catching flack for getting intimate and flirty with Hugo Chavez at some summit this week. But Republican presidents loved their communist "key parties" even more.

Here's Bill O'Reilly, correcting in-house libtard Alan Colmes' ludicrous assertion that Richard Nixon shook hands with Mao Zedong, so it's OK for Barack Obama to give Hugo Chavez a handjob. Nixon never touched Mao.

The rimjob ecstasy of that first Benjamin Button screening has worn off for director David Fincher, who is said to be tormenting Paramount underlings just in time for the film's Oscar push. Studio staffers were encouraged enough in recent days to even sell the notorious taskmaster out to Page Six, which reports today…

Bloomberg News' rather embarrassing faux pas—posting Apple chief Steve Jobs' obituary before he's actually dead—has now been chuckled at by just about everyone. It's not the sort of publicity that Bloomberg's bow-tied editorial boss Matthew Winkler, a notorious tyrant, wanker, and stickler for detail, is fond of. This…

Journalists have long pitied those colleagues who suffer under the yoke of Michael Bloomberg henchman Matthew Winkler. A style guide put together by the wire service boss-a program to reeducate journalists by the cultish name of the 'Bloomberg Way'-forbids the use of but and pretty much any other word which might…

From the legend of Matthew Winkler, tyrannical editor-in-chief of Bloomberg. We still tracking down the details of the deranged bow-tie's attack on a bond desk editor in the 1990s. But, in the meantime, here's an anecdote from a tipster to keep things going.