Earlier today, David Cameron announced the end of his premiership of Great Britain. Then he hummed a little song.

This week, British Conservative Party politician and Brexit cheerleader Boris Johnson saw his chances of becoming the UK prime minister torpedoed when his ally Michael Gove announced he would also run for the seat. Boris quickly ducked out of the campaign, possibly ending his political career forever. But what a…

Short answer: Not great. Bit of a mess. Long answer:

Having a billion dollars seems pretty good, but losing billions of dollars and still having billions of dollars left over is still preferable.

Let’s say you’re an American who woke this morning to the news that the people of the United Kingdom voted in favor of their nation leaving the European Union, and you’re unsure about what that means. Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that you happened to be abroad, in a country within the UK, when the news came in.…

As Donald Trump’s plane landed in Scotland early this morning, the world had just begun to grapple with a vote that has thrown Europe into chaos, and many in the U.S. are seeing as an omen of Trump’s imminent success. And in keeping with tradition, Donald Trump seems to have no idea what any of it means.

According to the Daily Mail, a crude doodle was briefly the source of electoral controversy on Thursday after a voter in Britain’s EU referendum submitted a ballot featuring an erect penis.

Oh, I see.

The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.

Today is the day—the day for the “Brexit” vote that you’ve been hearing so much about, against your will. What do you, the only very vaguely interested American, need to know?

London elected its new mayor, Sadiq Khan, on Friday, making him the first Muslim person to hold the position in the city—or that of any major western capital, for that matter.

Louise Mensch, an English author of popular fiction and unpopular political columns, as well as, for a few years, a Conservative member of Parliament, will start a new website, called “Heat Street,” for News Corp, Buzzfeed reports.

In a landmark ruling today, the Belfast High Court decided that Northern Ireland’s abortion law is “incompatible with human rights.” Currently, abortion is only legal in cases where the life of the mother is threatened or where there is a “permanent or serious risk to her well-being,” and hospital employees can face…

To most American voters (especially the younger ones), Jeb Bush’s new slogan will mostly just sound uninspired, and slightly reminiscent of Bob the Builder. But for pretty much anyone even mildly aware of British popular culture, the words “Jeb Can Fix It,” soon to be plastered on every surface his dying campaign can…

This article purporting to show that Queen Elizabeth “isn’t as rich as you think” reports that Queen Elizabeth is worth $425 million. Still seems like a lot, all things considered.

A man now in his 60s claims that Edward Heath, who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1970 to 1974 and died in 2005, raped him when he was 12 years old in 1961. Officials are also investigating claims that a police department worked to hide allegations of child sex abuse from Heath in the 1990s.

Above, we see Elizabeth II, Her Majesty the Ice Queen, examining a portrait of her as a young girl riding a blue horse, which was presented to her today by German Federal President Joachim Gauck. We haven’t seen the queen this disgusted since Kate Middleton wore the wrong shade of nude tights to tea.

A government commission in the UK has found that that nation’s top businesses use “unacknowledged ‘poshness tests’” when hiring, rather than hiring candidates from all social classes equally. Savages.

A county judge ordered Gemma Wale, of Birmingham, U.K., to stop having raucous, neighbor-waking sex with her boyfriend (more like “Gemma, don’t wail,” amrite?), and I’m sure you’ll never, ever guess what Wale did next and why she went to jail for two weeks.

Want to create a Wikipedia article about yourself, or edit the article that’s already out there to make yourself look better? Go ahead: Wikipedia policy discourages the practice, but there’s nothing really stopping you, especially if you’re working from an anonymous IP address. Anyone can do it—even parliamentary…