Defying expectations and early polling, the Conservatives are on track to take a majority in British Parliament with David Cameron securing a second term as prime minister.

It’s exit poll time in the UK, and the Conservatives are coming in strong. The Lib Dems will be lucky to score double digits, and Ukip—the Tea Party from across the pond—gets its first two seats ever. Most importantly: David Cameron appears to have won a big blue dick. We wish them well.