"Barraco Barner" Dissenter Goes Through Stages of Grief
Gemma Worrall, a beautician from Blackpool, England, took to Twitter this week to air her grievances against "our president Barraco Barner" for getting involved in Russia. What happened next won't surprise you at all, not even a little bit.
Alan Turing Posthumously Pardoned for 1952 Homosexuality Conviction
Alan Turing, the legendary British computer engineer and codebreaker who killed himself two years after a 1952 conviction for homosexual activity for which he was punished by chemical castration, received a royal pardon on Monday from Queen Elizabeth II.
Naked Hotel Guest Shoves Fire Extinguisher Up Ass, Causes a Scene
In one of the most compelling ledes ever written, a Tuesday Metro story begins:
U.K. Man Arrested for Allegedly Hacking U.S. Defense Networks
A British hacker has been arrested on charges that he illegally accessed U.S. government computer networks, including the Missile Defense Agency and the U.S. Army, in order to steal the personal data of government employees. “You have no idea how much we can fuck with the U.S. government if we wanted to,” Lauri Love,…
Drunk Student Has Insanely Nerve-Racking 'Dramatic Pizza Experience'
A highly intoxicated college student in York was walking home from the pub with a fresh pizza from King's with which he intended to vanquish the drunk munchies.
UK to Block All Pornography From the Internet Unless Users Ask For It
UK Prime Minister David Cameron will announce extensive restrictions on internet pornography tomorrow, according to the Daily Mail (which is taking full credit for these reforms).
Teen Boys Wear Skirts to School to Protest Ban on Shorts
A group of schoolboys have decided to protest an administrative ban on short by wearing skirts to class.
Here's the Entire Hideous Aftermath Video of the Woolwich Butchers
Two monsters crashed a car into a soldier named Lee Rigby on Tuesday in southeast London, and then they hopped out and murdered him with meat cleavers and a machete. In the interminable lull before police arrived to shoot the men, they danced over Rigby's body and demanded passers-by take pictures and video. Here it…
Lee Rigby, Soldier and Drummer, Killed By Butchers of Woolwich
The U.K. Ministry of Defence has identified Wednesday's victim of the Woolwich psychopaths as Lee Rigby, father of a 2-year-old son and veteran of military campaigns from Cyprus to Afghanistan who was currently based in London as part of the drum corps.
London Soldier Hacked To Death By Machete-Wielding Terrorists
A horrifying daytime attack by local terrorists armed with meat cleavers took the life of U.K. soldier Lee Rigby, who was butchered and left dead in the street in southeast London. The crazed killers shouted "Allahu Akbar" after completing their grisly crime and then demanded stunned passers-by take video.

