It's election day at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill! Who's your pick for student body president? You have a 25 percent chance of being represented by Emilio Vicente, a homosexual from Guatemala who clambered into America through a barbed-wire fence when he was six.

Monty Cook, a former Baltimore Sun editor, has resigned from his position at the University of North Carolina's journalism school after a mini-scandal over his sexy instant messages with a female student. Remarkably, this wasn't his first sexy G-chat incident.