Don't need Spanx? Speak for yourself, Hamilton. You got to take those tight squeezes where you can get them. Sometimes Spanx' warm embrace is all that's left between reality and ebbing delusions of attractiveness. We wear them for us; not you. #women
I bought some Spanx tights several years ago hoping for a miracle, and was totally pissed off to discover I'd purchased what is basically an expensive pair of queen-sized pantyhose. Go for the L'eggs, gals. Same results, less $$. #women
@kitler: I thought I was the only one who wasn't amazed by their results. I could have saved about $20 bucks by buying the L'eggs I usually wear. #women
1. At a recent bridal shower, I gifted the (well endowed, ass-wise) bride-to-be with a pair of shaping panties with removable ASS PADS. Hilarity ensued.
2. I like Spanx (or, off-brand shapers) under certain garments or types of fabrics. They aren't supposed to change your body shape or make you a smaller size - if they do, you're buying them too small and no wonder you can't eat or get them off to go to the bathroom. What they do do is create a smooth line under clingy fabrics, covering any cellulite or bulges and making a dress hang correctly. The longer ones have the added bonus of preventing one's thighs from rubbing together.
3. I take my Spanx off to pee, pee-hole or no. I actually wondered why they had that opening there, but I figured it was for ease in getting them on or off. The thought that people try to pee through it is disgusting. If you buy them in your size, ladies, you can pull them off and on just fine.
@Wenceslaus: Right before I walked down the aisle on my wedding day, I realized I had to go to the bathroom. Considering my dress was rather complicated to get on and off and the spanx underneath went from practically under my bra to my thighs, I totally panicked. Cut to me in the bathroom with two people holding up my skirt while my mother went for my crotch with a pair of scissors. Right before I suffered an indignity I might never have gotten over- i discovered the pee hole. It was the second happiest moment of my night. #women
@MelitaPolyhymnia: They wore incredibly uncomfortable girdles with bone-like ribs in them. Not to mention the bras made of layers of padding and boning to give them that famous "rocket boob" look.
They also had make-up artists who slathered their faces with thick-greasy pancake makeup and powder. Oh, and they wore false eyelashes, thick layers of eye shadow, and thick cakey lipstick (not nearly as nice as the sheer stuff we have now).
Imagine how sweaty and fishy everything got under all those layers of rubber and padding. Imagine kissing their faces and having your lips sink into the half inch of goo covering them.
@MelitaPolyhymnia: you are a complete dumbass.
Do you even know what mid-century undergarments looked like? Let me give you a hint: lots of painful ribbing and lacing. Somewhat akin to the fetish photography you might see in Dita Von Teese's portfolio.
Oh yeah, and lots more cigarette smoking in 1950s sitcom America too. And pills. Since your "all you can think of" seems to exist only within the confines of pop culture, you might want to read/watch Valley of the Dolls . That could teach you volumes about how women stayed so "neat and trim" as well.
God, why hasn't this troll been muzzled already? Nothing to be heard except blithering, drooling nonsense. S/he's been a existing as a half-dead mouth-breathing zombie for months. #women
@MelitaPolyhymnia: Lots of blistering, white-hot, adultering suburban wasteland sexing, I'd guess. That, amphetamines and a pack of Lucky Strikes per day would burn the calories off like no one's business. #women
It amazes me how often men feel the need to comment on a woman's fashion or lifestyles decisions. WHY are all the males feeling the need to comment on Spanx?
Why do I feel like many guys who hate on Spanx would also be the type to tell their girlfriends/wives/dates that she should do whatever makes her feel good?
Many women make such an effort to be physically attractive to men that it can be exhausting. And yet some men will wear their socks with sandals, old t-shirts, boxers with holes in them, wrinkled clothes, etc etc etc and think "eff off" if anyone criticized him for it.
(And I know this doesn't characterize all men, and I would also never criticize someone's fashion choices unless they tried to knock on mine.)
Even the most fit, healthy and confident woman might get an image boost from getting dressed up with Spanx underneath, so I say: good for her. BUY THOSE AWESOME ZEBRA-PRINT SPANX. #women
@chickachicka: Darling, how quaint you are to think that any issues are either exclusively a male or female issue. Women have been trying desperately to rid their men of their well-worn ( and oh so comfortable) garments forvever.
Men are obsessed with women (straight men that is), and will always comment on the "too much makeup", fake hair, etc.
It's just the way it is. I think the larger issue is how much time we all spend (and not to mention the money) curating our looks. I always go with a freshly pressed shirt, well fitting pants and a nice pair of shoes, etc. Plus a healthy skin regimen, and good grooming.
Works like a charm!! Anyway, I always wonder if the heavily botoxed and plastic surgeried folk realize how weird they look? Or do they think they are so beautiful, hence all the stares? I guess these people are starved for attention, so any attention is welcome. How you doin' Jocelyn W.???
I recently met a woman who wore 2 pairs of Spanx to hide her 5-months pregnant belly at a job interview. That somehow seems even grosser and more wrong (in many ways) than wearing them to hide hide any perceived chubbiness.
I used to contribute to a men's magazine and in one article, I taught men how to tell if a woman is wearing a foundation garment, a padded bra, and other amplifying undergarments. I am a gender traitor. #women
@registered: You have to do a bit of touching and feeling for seams and whatnot, but it's pretty easy to do. Meet me for a drink and I'll feel you up. All knowledge will be yours, Grasshopper.
@BookishLookish: I'd meet you any day for a drink, but I'm not into the feel-me-up thingy. Also, I live (tragically) in Miami.
I'm female, and you're hysterically funny and smart and all that, but I'm sorta into the other sex.
Have you read that old Nora Ephron essay about breasts? I can't find it. It seems to fit in this thread, since we have progressed from talking about underwear to sanitary pads and to G__ knows what.
This has been a bit of a Jez thread, but populated by Gawkers, and it has been very very very funny.
@registered: All right, toots, you had your chance. Hard-won knowledge is never pleasant and this opportunity only presents itself once in a lifetime. You have failed, Grasshopper, you may not approach.
(P.S. Jealous that you will be having a warm winter.)
@registered: Ha! That's the spirit. Now you're proving yourself to be the kind of girl I really would love to feel up! I mean, pass on all this hard-won man-woman knowledge. #women
As someone who, as a kid, wrestled thru middle and high school and was made not only wear lycra/spandex singlets, but engage in mortal combat in them all the while in public view of hundreds of gawking eyes, all I can say is, "Suck it up".
On the other hand, we didn't have to wear high heels during our tourneys, so perhaps more sympathy is warranted. #women
Well, HamNo, you have certainly created a post that has garnered almost as many comments as a Mad Men recap. I hope you are having a good day and all the other editors are glaring at you. #women
Oh, and you ladies who complain about getting Spanx off have obviously never worn a REAL girdle. Try getting a real '60's girdle on - and then off. HA! See the red marks on your tender flesh....then on top of that the garters that you had to use as there were no pantyhose. Yes, I did this at the age of 13. A year later L'Eggs came out - and the miniskirt.
Freedom - oh, sweet freedom! Hallelujah! #women
@intime: Better yet, they should wear the old fashioned maxi pad belts with the hooks. How it took so long to come with adhesive pads, I don't know. #women
@intime: I'm sure you must remember the "sanitary belt." I dreaded puberty, but by the time that happened -- thank goodness! -- there were alternate choices available. #women
@registered: Yeah - I wanted to wear stockings to school and so I put the whole thing on. I had tried a garter belt but I found that even harder to use to keep the stockings on than the girdle. No doubt I filched it from my mom or older sister. I'm sure my mom would not have bought one for me. #women
@The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx: Oh lord, how I am laughing at that memory. I'm young enough to have escaped the dreaded sanitary belt, but you'd better believe that in a family of five girls, there were lots of sanitary pads stored in the linen closet.
I still remember the day my sole brother came downstairs with his arm wrapped in one of those really thick sanitary pads. He was pretending he had a war wound. The poor little fella got laughed out of the room by the grownups. I had no idea why; I thought they were bandages too. #women
@intime: You just reminded me of the time my parents went to England and returned with a gift of tights (aka pantyhose) for my eldest sister. I was about 8. As soon as nobody was in the bedroom, I tried them on. I felt wonderful. I did somersaults in them and bounced around on the bed in them. That's how much I wanted to wear stockings.
Then I noticed that my leg hairs were poking out. I took my father's razor and shaved my legs. I knew I had done something wrong, even as I admired my 24" legs.
I told Mother, and she said you are a silly fool and you will have to shave your legs for the rest of your life.
This is the end of my posting as a Jezzy. It's been fun! But I wouldn't want to do it again. #women
@registered: Oh, but wasn't it something to see your once hairy legs all smooth, soft and shiny? I'll never forget that the first time I shaved my legs.
Now I only do it if I'm gonna wear shorts or a bathing suit. *laugh* #women
@MisterHippity:
No thanks, said Manx,
I won't wear Spanx.
They're known to bind,
In ways unkind.
And if you have an itch,
they're a serious bitch.
You wouldn't you ask a doggie,
Or a Hippity-hoppity froggie.
So don't call me wussy,
I'm a liberated pussy. #women
All these ladies need to do is get married and the wearing of the Spanx will not be an issue. Their spouses will be just be happy that they are taking their clothes off - they won't care what is they are removing! #women
@intime: Ahem, excuse me ladies, I'm happily married to a boff-happy hunk 5 years my junior and I wear Spanx for moi, thank you. And yes, they are a lot easier than a girdle. My sis modeled in the 80s and all the models wore girdles. They are also a lot better than cutting off nylons at the thigh, which is what I used to do. I don't like my thighs toughing. #women
11/06/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/06/09
11/05/09
2. I like Spanx (or, off-brand shapers) under certain garments or types of fabrics. They aren't supposed to change your body shape or make you a smaller size - if they do, you're buying them too small and no wonder you can't eat or get them off to go to the bathroom. What they do do is create a smooth line under clingy fabrics, covering any cellulite or bulges and making a dress hang correctly. The longer ones have the added bonus of preventing one's thighs from rubbing together.
3. I take my Spanx off to pee, pee-hole or no. I actually wondered why they had that opening there, but I figured it was for ease in getting them on or off. The thought that people try to pee through it is disgusting. If you buy them in your size, ladies, you can pull them off and on just fine.
11/05/09
11/05/09
Lucy Ricardo also. They just seemed so neat, crisp and together.
And they did not have Crunch, Equinox, spin class, botox, Spanx, hair weaves or 100 billion dollar cosmetics industries.
They seemed to focus on their kids, families, homes and community.
Hokey, you say? Give me the hokey platter and pass it around please!!!
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
They also had make-up artists who slathered their faces with thick-greasy pancake makeup and powder. Oh, and they wore false eyelashes, thick layers of eye shadow, and thick cakey lipstick (not nearly as nice as the sheer stuff we have now).
Imagine how sweaty and fishy everything got under all those layers of rubber and padding. Imagine kissing their faces and having your lips sink into the half inch of goo covering them.
Neat and crisp, indeed. #women
11/05/09
Do you even know what mid-century undergarments looked like? Let me give you a hint: lots of painful ribbing and lacing. Somewhat akin to the fetish photography you might see in Dita Von Teese's portfolio.
Oh yeah, and lots more cigarette smoking in 1950s sitcom America too. And pills. Since your "all you can think of" seems to exist only within the confines of pop culture, you might want to read/watch Valley of the Dolls . That could teach you volumes about how women stayed so "neat and trim" as well.
God, why hasn't this troll been muzzled already? Nothing to be heard except blithering, drooling nonsense. S/he's been a existing as a half-dead mouth-breathing zombie for months. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
Why do I feel like many guys who hate on Spanx would also be the type to tell their girlfriends/wives/dates that she should do whatever makes her feel good?
Many women make such an effort to be physically attractive to men that it can be exhausting. And yet some men will wear their socks with sandals, old t-shirts, boxers with holes in them, wrinkled clothes, etc etc etc and think "eff off" if anyone criticized him for it.
(And I know this doesn't characterize all men, and I would also never criticize someone's fashion choices unless they tried to knock on mine.)
Even the most fit, healthy and confident woman might get an image boost from getting dressed up with Spanx underneath, so I say: good for her. BUY THOSE AWESOME ZEBRA-PRINT SPANX. #women
11/05/09
Men are obsessed with women (straight men that is), and will always comment on the "too much makeup", fake hair, etc.
It's just the way it is. I think the larger issue is how much time we all spend (and not to mention the money) curating our looks. I always go with a freshly pressed shirt, well fitting pants and a nice pair of shoes, etc. Plus a healthy skin regimen, and good grooming.
Works like a charm!! Anyway, I always wonder if the heavily botoxed and plastic surgeried folk realize how weird they look? Or do they think they are so beautiful, hence all the stares? I guess these people are starved for attention, so any attention is welcome. How you doin' Jocelyn W.???
11/07/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
P.S. What are the giveaways? #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
I'm female, and you're hysterically funny and smart and all that, but I'm sorta into the other sex.
Have you read that old Nora Ephron essay about breasts? I can't find it. It seems to fit in this thread, since we have progressed from talking about underwear to sanitary pads and to G__ knows what.
This has been a bit of a Jez thread, but populated by Gawkers, and it has been very very very funny.
Well, to me. I've been at the wine again. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
(P.S. Jealous that you will be having a warm winter.)
11/05/09
I'll get over it, you slag. Love, toots. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
On the other hand, we didn't have to wear high heels during our tourneys, so perhaps more sympathy is warranted. #women
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11/05/09
11/05/09
Freedom - oh, sweet freedom! Hallelujah! #women
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11/05/09
The history of corsetry and hosiery has never been kind to women. Nor is Spanx or its imitators.
However. You were wearing a girdle at 13? Were you mad?
Er, no offense. A girl of 13 in a girdle? #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
That's the reason we ALL learned to use tampons as quickly as possible. I remember working at that for days. Those belts and pads were awful. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
I still remember the day my sole brother came downstairs with his arm wrapped in one of those really thick sanitary pads. He was pretending he had a war wound. The poor little fella got laughed out of the room by the grownups. I had no idea why; I thought they were bandages too. #women
11/05/09
Then I noticed that my leg hairs were poking out. I took my father's razor and shaved my legs. I knew I had done something wrong, even as I admired my 24" legs.
I told Mother, and she said you are a silly fool and you will have to shave your legs for the rest of your life.
This is the end of my posting as a Jezzy. It's been fun! But I wouldn't want to do it again. #women
11/06/09
Now I only do it if I'm gonna wear shorts or a bathing suit. *laugh* #women
11/06/09
Unlike you, though, I have to shave them every few days. Stubble itches the hell out of me.
Mother was right, at least on that account. Meh, she was right most of the time. Mothers are like that. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
No thanks, said Manx,
I won't wear Spanx.
They're known to bind,
In ways unkind.
And if you have an itch,
they're a serious bitch.
You wouldn't you ask a doggie,
Or a Hippity-hoppity froggie.
So don't call me wussy,
I'm a liberated pussy. #women
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/06/09
11/05/09
11/05/09
11/06/09