When I was a girl, it was considered stylish to wear biker shorts under dresses. So maybe Kim Kardashian is not having a wardrobe malfunction, but is bringing back a long-forgotten style from our youths in this picture.

People are into some crazy stuff, but John Gallagher, 19, was arrested for breaking into his old high school in Missouri, stealing boys' underwear from their lockers, and masturbating on them. He was charged with burglary and unlawfully entering a high school. Being stuck in the past and a general pervert aren't…

Hey, ladies: Have you been longing for a diaper to sop up excess period blood? Not an ugly diaper, but a sleek sexy one? You're in luck: Here is a new product called Sexy Period™ panties. I am of two minds about it.

Want a bigger penis? Too lazy to buy a penis pump? Reality star Andrew Christian has the product for you: Shock Jock Flirt Brief with Male Features—undies with a fake penis to wear over your real penis.

When police in Arizona responded to a complaint of a man, "white and in his 50s" with his pants down and wiggling his hips in public, they found Michael Polley at his apartment door, still pantless and "immediately angry."

Still looking for that perfect Christmas gift? Stop looking, because I just found it for you: A pair of underwear that supposedly belonged to Queen Elizabeth is being auctioned off. It should go for "around $9,000." [TMZ]

As if we weren't pumped enough for the new Harry Potter movie? Check out this TV spot featuring Harry Potter in a bra and panties. After this and Equus it's clear Daniel Radcliffe really does not like wearing clothes.

[Adriana Lima models Victoria's Secret's "$2 Million Bombshell Fantasy Bra," an undergarment containing 60 carats of white diamonds and 82 carats of topaz and sapphire. This is Victoria's Secret being recession-friendly; 2008's "Fantasy Bra" was worth $5 million. More inside.]

Colonel David Russell Williams was commander of Canada's largest Air Force base. He was also a bizarrely organized panty thief who "meticulously photographed" his crimes. His illegal proclivities escalated to rape and murder. Today, he pled guilty to 88 charges.

British clothing chain Marks & Spencer has waded into the dong-enhancement game with its new Bodymax line of "frontal enhancement" underwear. They'll make your dick look 38 percent bigger! M&S also offers butt-lifting undies made of "cool, odour resistant fabric."

Here's video of a news anchor for POP TV in Slovenia, who recently pulled a Ron Burgundy and delivered the news sans pants. At the end of the broadcast, the camera—and his movement—revealed it all to the viewer.

What would you do if the NYPD mentioned your brand of hidden-pocket underwear in a department-wide warning memo? Phillip "Clint" Scott, founder of underwear manufacturers Stashitwear, updated his company's site, writing "Order yours now before New York orders them all!"

A man wearing only underwear and a shirt stole a delivery truck and led police on a car chase through Brooklyn on Thursday, hitting two 12-year-old girls before finally crashing. Also: He ate "leaves straight from tree branches."

Here's a titillating teaser for the upcoming second-half of Gossip Girl's topsy-turvy third season. The most important details are: 1) Chuck calls a lady a whore because she might be his mom. 2) Vanessa the Bewigged Cavewoman is sans underpants.

This item just needs one committed entrepreneur like Joe Francis to resurrect it. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge]

Women across America continue to wear "Spanx" and "Spanx"-like undergarments despite the fact that "Spanx" are clearly evil, most especially for the women wearing them, and whoever may be around when it's time for them to shed their "Spanx."

Brooksville, Florida has passed a new rule requiring city workers to wear underwear and use deodorant while on the job. Brooksville's mayor, however, is skeptical of such intrusive lawmaking:

In keeping up with the Spanx/underwear beat—guys, here is your new foundation garment. It's called Core Precision (heh), reports the London Times, and it makes you look like you have a six-pack. Now dudes will understand what it's like to be a lady wearing a spandex-y waist-cincher, because you really can't let anyone…

I do not have one single informed or worthwhile opinion about women's fashion, except this: The existence of "Spanx" is a bad thing. Shoving one's thighs, buttocks, and midsection into a tight spandex tube that crushes you like a hot dog casing does not count as "reshaping your body." It counts as "cutting off blood…