Unilever, the enormous global consumer products conglomerate that makes everything from shampoo to mayonnaise, wants to do its part to save the world. How can you help? By buying lots and lots of Unilever products.

Remember to include the Unilever corporation on your Christmas card list this year, ladies: without their groundbreaking research, you wouldn't know enough to be publicly concerned about the hideousness of your armpit region.

If you've ever discussed your "skin issues" on a blog, Facebook, or Twitter, good news: the Unilever corporation was listening in!

We once made fun of "Paleos," the "small New York subculture whose members seek good health through a selective return to the habits of their Paleolithic ancestors." But, by God, Dutch food conglomerate 'Unilever' is doing the same thing!