117 Days and a Wake Up
David Cameron Hums Little Ditty to Self as Running Britain Officially Becomes Someone Else's Problem
On Monday, British prime minister David Cameron announced that he would step down from his post on Wednesday, whereupon he will be succeeded by home secretary Theresa May. Walking back to 10 Downing Street after his announcement, Cameron forgot himself—and his live microphone—for a moment, humming a little ditty.
British Iraq War Inquiry Delivers Scathing Critique of Tony Blair's Decision to Join US Invasion
On Wednesday, Sir John Chilcot, the head of the United Kingdom’s Iraq war inquiry, delivered a damning, 2.6-million-word report on Britain’s decision to join the United States invasion of Iraq in 2003. “We have concluded that the UK chose to join the invasion of Iraq before the peaceful options for disarmament had…
Who Was Our Man Boris Johnson?
This week, British Conservative Party politician and Brexit cheerleader Boris Johnson saw his chances of becoming the UK prime minister torpedoed when his ally Michael Gove announced he would also run for the seat. Boris quickly ducked out of the campaign, possibly ending his political career forever. But what a…
Boris Johnson Fakes Everyone Out, Announces He Will Not Run for Prime Minister
After giving a speech in which he touted his accomplishments as mayor of London, responded to criticisms of the “Leave” vote, and outlined the problems facing the next British prime minister, Boris Johnson announced that he would not be running for the position.
Britain Votes to Leave European Union
The United Kingdom has voted to leave the European Union, shocking the country’s political establishment and sending the British pound to its lowest point since 1985, The Wall Street Journal reports.
Never Mind the Ballots, Here's the Brexit Polls
The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.
Subtly-Named Twitter User "Silent Bomber" and His Wife Found Guilty of Planning London Terrorist Attack
A husband and wife who prosecutors alleged were interested in supporting the Islamic State have been found guilty of preparing an act of terrorism, the Guardian reports. Mohammed Rehman, 25, intended to detonate a suicide bomb either at a shopping center in London or on the Underground.
Another British Muslim Prevented from Flying to the United States Without Explanation
A British imam has accused the U.S. State Department of enacting Donald Trump’s proposed ban on Muslims “before he has received a single vote,” the Guardian reports. The imam’s business visa was revoked by U.S. embassy staff at Heathrow without explanation as he tried to board a plane to New York.
Pleasant-Seeming Old British Socialist Wins Control of the Labour Party
In a stunning victory, the far left “Old Labour” (contra the “New Labour” of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown) candidate Jeremy Corbyn has been elected leader of the United Kingdom’s Labour Party.
UK Bans Tyler, the Creator For Several Years Over Old Lyrics
America has more or less made peace with Tyler, the Creator, the leader of the (now disbanded) shock-rap crew Odd Future. After a period of inciting controversy with violent lyrics and aggressive teenaged snottiness, Tyler has settled into life as a touring artist with a reliable fanbase. The United Kingdom, though,…
Kate Middleton Gives Birth to Human Girl
Of all the babies that were born on Saturday—and there were several—one of the babies was a royal baby, which, as these things go, is a pretty good kind of baby to be. This particular royal baby was born to Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, and is a girl.
Unemployed Cosplay Enthusiast Prince William Visits Japan
Prince William visited Japan this week and took some photographs there with some people and some things, BuzzFeed News reports.
British Government to Investigate Decades of Child Abuse Allegations
British Home Secretary Theresa May announced Monday a massive investigation into decades of sexual abuse allegations brought against government officials and how those allegations were handled (or weren't). The investigation, May said, will extend to health providers, religious groups, and the BBC.
Posh New Submarine Impressive, Nuclear
The Royal Navy never stopped ruling the seas, man. They just do it from under the sea. You feel me?
Neknominate: The Online Drinking Game Sparking Moral Panic in Britain
Kids drink. Kids use social media. Now in the United Kingdom kids are apparently drinking on social media and dying because of it. Mothers of Europe: BEWARE.
Mystery Sex Affair Stuns UK Prime Minister's Office, Spurs Crisis Talk
According to an intriguing but frustratingly vague report in the Daily Mail, UK Prime Minister David Cameron and his office at No. 10 Downing Street are in the midst of dealing with a sex scandal described by the Mail's sources as “stunn[ing],” “dynamite,” “a complete mess” and “of great personal distress to innocent…
Scotland Contemplates Going Rogue: Vote on Independence Coming in 2014
All the hours we've spent losing ourselves in the rich velvet tapestries of premium cable's sexiest historical dramas have guided us to this one moment: Scotland will soon vote whether to declare its independence from the United Kingdom or to remain slaves forever.
Eric Hobsbawm, Eminent Historian, Dead at 95
British intellectual Eric Hobsbawm, the pre-eminent historian of his generation, died Monday morning in a hospital in London, where he was being treated for pneumonia. He was 95.
Prince Harry Should Be King of England, Mayor of Funkytown, Chief Inspector of Boobs
The British monarchy is an expensively maintained tourist attraction, chiefly composed of distant cousins who have married one another, the peasant daughter of a local party planner, and several large hats. Anyone could be the head of it. Queen Elizabeth II, a corgi wearing a monocle, London-born Mischa Barton. Anyone.
