A New Magazine for Rich Obnoxious Jerks
Silver spoon-sucking Trump in-law Jared Kushner already owns the New York Observer, poorly. Now, the plucky young would-be mogul has his eye on a new crowd of readers: rich annoying idiots!
Bring a Little Style to Your Refuse
Designer trash bags are now available for purchase.
Jay-Z Writing Unnecessary Book
Adequate rapper Jay-Z has a book coming out. By Jay-Z. It's called DECODED. This book "decodes 36 songs from JAY-Z's extensive catalog." Great, since Jay-Z's lyrics are hard to interpret. "Get that dirt off your shoulder." What dirt?
Hope There Are Songs In It!
The wait is over: REO Speedwagon is now a video game.
There Is No Media Platform Which Meghan McCain Does Not Deserve to Dominate
In your willful Wednesday media column: Meghan McCain is the queen of all media, BusinessWeek's sale grinds on, Lou Dobbs catches a boycott, and you can finally find political opinions, on the internet.
Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
The players: Manhattan media playboy Jared Kushner's younger brother Joshua (pictured); Harvard students; rich people; and NYT faux-trend specialist Allen Salkin. It's a case where both an idea and the meta-coverage of the idea are equally enraging!
Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Feeling depressed because the recession and the internet are both killing the book publishing industry, and hurting your hopes for the big literary contract you deserve? Just self-publish! Every other jerk is.
Tight Baggy Jeans Achieve Holy Grail Of Pants
These new jeans may be a turning point in the evolution of pants. It goes like this: first, baggy jeans came into style. People bought big pants and let them sag. Then, baggy pants slowly went out of style, and tight pants came into fashion. But still—people missed their baggy pants. Fast forward to this moment in…
Only Spending Can Save Our Fat Dogs
American dogs, like American people, are turning into a bunch of dumpy, couch-ridden fatties. But the pharmaceutical industry is rushing to the rescue! Slentrol, a diet drug for dogs, recently launched a new ad campaign [NYS] to convince guilty dog owners that what their mutt needs is chemicals, not a stick thrown a…
Roseanne Barr Discusses The Unspeakable
When we got this clip in an email titled "Roseanne Barr Vaginal Rejuvenation," we gagged and choked back a sudden upsurge of bile in our throat. And just retyping that now, for you, we've had to suppress the urge to upchuck once again. But it didn't seem right to keep this 30-second clip all to ourselves. It features…
Luxury Armani Phones Identify Tasteful Suckers
If there's one thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a "Philosophy." If there's another thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a luxury brand above and beyond whatever the brand is of the actual phone manufacturer. Of course this means that today any asshole with $550 burning a hole in his pocket can buy a…
