unnecessary things

posts about #unnecessarythings more →
There Is No Media Platform Which Meghan McCain Does Not Deserve to Dominate
Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Tight Baggy Jeans Achieve Holy Grail Of Pants
Only Spending Can Save Our Fat Dogs
Roseanne Barr Discusses The Unspeakable
Luxury Armani Phones Identify Tasteful Suckers

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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
09/16/09

In reply to There Is No Media Platform Which Meghan McCain Does Not Deserve to Dominate
george will, thomas friedman and david brooks should really get one entry as they are all pretty much the same: mildly bright establishment figures working as hard as they can at repackaging the ideology of the ruling classes for consumption by everyone else
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onebadclam
09/16/09

In reply to There Is No Media Platform Which Meghan McCain Does Not Deserve to Dominate
Ooooh! Michelle Malkin didn't make the list. Mr. Malkin is going to get anger sex tonight. Though I can't imagine Michelle does anything but anger sex.
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skahammer
09/16/09

@onebadclam: Take it over to Fleshbot, buddy -- I'm getting too turned on.
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Rumpelstilskin
06/15/09

In reply to Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
Don't get cousin Tony involved or he will write a maudlin musical about it.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
06/15/09

@Rumpelstilskin: I hear a musical coming, yes, totally

I got into school

Thought it was cool

I had to pay

What could I say

Then you came along ...
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Richard Lawson
06/15/09

In reply to Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
"I think the most special thing about college is not just what you do in class, but what you do out of class. Like lying on bags of leaves playing an inflatable guitar."
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CaptainFantastic
06/15/09

@Richard Lawson: , and wearing a tweed jacket over a hoody and an obscure Cubs hat.
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Mount_Prion
06/15/09

In reply to Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
I'll loan them some money if I get to charge interest and send some lummox named Jimmy after them when they can't pay up.
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El Matardillo
06/15/09

In reply to Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
Those nine kids don't realize this, but they're now part of the Brotherhood and obedience will be expected in the future.
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BxgrlJeri
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Self published books are like American Idol auditions without the judges. Sure there's some talent, but its lost among the squeaky ass tone deaf freak shows.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Well what the fuck else am I supposed to do? I've run out of literary agents. I couldn't get a single one of them to even read the manuscript. What options do I even have at this point?

Shit it can't be career suicide because I already don't have a career. And the twelve dollars that I made is going to come in really handy when I need to buy a gigantic bag of rice to FEED MYSELF now that I've lost my job.

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krismry
01/28/09

@braak: You're fine, braak. Indie is the way to go. Wave of the future, if there is a future at all. Just the diffrence between being a fenced in cow who gets milked every night or a wild horse running the range as he damn well pleases.
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abbediaz01
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Oh and another thing?

It wasn't so long ago that REAL journalists thumbed their noses at BLOGGERS.

Tool.
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pufflehuff
01/28/09

@Abbe Diaz: I'm starting to fall for you. It's the persistence and the blessed merciful funniness with it. Gotta lotta love for the HamNo, but HA!
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abbediaz01
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
"That's great just great. How democratic! Just look at the veritable musical and cultural renaissance that's emerged as a result of Myspace."

Mmmhmm. And the artistic renaissance that emerged as a a result of the STREETS in SoHo.

Gee Hamilton Nolan I had no idea you're such an elitist.
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saythatscool
01/28/09

@Abbe Diaz: Did you ever date Hamilton?
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abbediaz01
01/28/09

@saythatscool: I wish!

Did you?
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saythatscool
01/28/09

@Abbe Diaz: hahahahaha! Good one! Rant on. You have earned my grudging respect. Hamilton's in some deep shit now.
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pufflehuff
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
I just want to know what the son's pain was. Although looking at Dad I think that the mental pains are still there and cannot be mollified by another play-fight in the jacuzzi.
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Rock_Hunter
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Rave Advanced Reviews for Jacuzzi:A Father's Invention to Ease a Son's Pain:

"This book made me want to pee inside it." -- Seven-year-old child in the pool area of the Days Inn in Hicksville NY
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pufflehuff
01/28/09

@Rock_Hunter: Hee!

"HELP. ME. Dad won't let me out." -- Ken Jacuzzi Jr.
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bringmemyTofu
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
I CAN OPEN GAWKER AT WORK AGAIN!!!! HOORAY!! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST!!1!

Although the last week without Gawker would make for an interesting self-published psychological thriller. Will Tofu throw his computer against a wall? Where will he use his un-posted puns? Keep reading and find out!
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Smitros
01/28/09

@bringmemyTofu:

Maybe the problem is/was with Gawker software and Internet Explorer. I've been de-Gawked at work for several days now (I'm at home today) and it has been a hellish, hellish ordeal.
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Baroness
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
Terrible article: for giving hope to horrible writers everywhere. That one girl who got a deal? She's a freak because most legit publishers won't touch self-published work with a 12 foot pole not worth the hassle of contractual rights the vanity presses routinely insist on. Miss Snark is having a thrombo.

Reminds me of the infamous (and hilarious) hoax the saga of Atlanta Nights.

A vanity press pretended that they only selected the finest books it was an honor to be chosen. A writer and his friends submitted the worst novel they could and it was accepted:

They collaborated on a deliberately low-quality work complete with obvious grammatical errors nonsensical passages and a complete lack of a coherent plot.

The distinctive flaws of Atlanta Nights include nonidentical chapters written by two different authors from the same segment of outline a missing chapter two chapters that are word-for-word identical to each other two different chapters with the same chapter number and a chapter "written" by a computer program that generated random text based on patterns found in the previous chapters .

Characters change gender and race; they die and reappear without explanation. Spelling and grammar are nonstandard and the formatting is inconsistent. The initials of characters who were named in the book spelled out the phrase "PublishAmerica is a vanity press."

The finale was also crafted to be deliberately bad; not only are all the previous events of the plot revealed to have been a dream (long condemned as a "cheat" ending) but even after this revelation the book continues for several more chapters.

[en.wikipedia.org]

The blurbs were also pretty funny:

[www.travistea.com]

"Maybe once in a lifetime there comes a book with such extraordinary characters thrilling plot twists and uncanny insight that it comes to embody its time. ATLANTA NIGHTS is a book." - Adam-Troy Castro

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TableNine
01/28/09

In reply to Self-Publishing Is the New Real Publishing
I know they say that everyone has a book inside them but what they don't say is that most of those books are I Am Charlotte Simmons.
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