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Unnecessary things

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fashion

Tight Baggy Jeans Achieve Holy Grail Of Pants

These new jeans may be a turning point in the evolution of pants. It goes like this: first, baggy jeans came into style. People bought big pants and let them sag. Then, baggy pants slowly went out of style, and tight pants came into fashion. But still—people missed their baggy pants. Fast forward to this moment in time: a company called Soulful Commandoe has introduced jeans that are both tight and baggy at once. This breakthrough was apparently achieved through the addition of several vertical inches of fabric in the waist area, as well as the inclusion of some gratuitous suspenders. Truly a development that will go down in fashion history. Click through for some larger pictures [The Gluttony via Satchel of Gravel] of this Pants Pants Revolution: More »

3:16 PM on Tue Apr 29 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
13,691 views, 74 comments

Latest by jaydot: for when you absolutely, positively have to be taken seriously. and by taken seriously, i mean look like you just shit in your pants. way to be. more people to avoid. more »

marketing

Only Spending Can Save Our Fat Dogs

American dogs, like American people, are turning into a bunch of dumpy, couch-ridden fatties. But the pharmaceutical industry is rushing to the rescue! Slentrol, a diet drug for dogs, recently launched a new ad campaign [NYS] to convince guilty dog owners that what their mutt needs is chemicals, not a stick thrown a long way, over and over. Furthermore, some stern doggie personal trainers are warning about the dangers of "the wrong kind of exercise"—specifically, "uncontrolled play." Give those dogs a structured exercise program and diet drugs at once, foolish yuppies! More »

1:26 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
5,563 views, 43 comments

Latest by Saxon 212: I'm going to try the Richard Quest method on my poodle "Anderson",with a choke collar leash. more »

television

Roseanne Barr Discusses The Unspeakable

When we got this clip in an email titled "Roseanne Barr Vaginal Rejuvenation," we gagged and choked back a sudden upsurge of bile in our throat. And just retyping that now, for you, we've had to suppress the urge to upchuck once again. But it didn't seem right to keep this 30-second clip all to ourselves. It features portly loudmouth Roseanne on Craig Ferguson's talk show, discussing, you know, what we just said. She even makes what would be a decent joke coming from someone else, but with her saying it, it just seems totally unnecessary and uncalled for. If you do choose to watch the clip below, you'll have to go wash your brain off. Just try not to form a mental picture. More »

1:57 PM on Thu Apr 10 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
2,744 views, 40 comments

Latest by ginger rant: @nellicat: Agreed. Team Roseanne's Vajunior! more »

marketing

Luxury Armani Phones Identify Tasteful Suckers

If there's one thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a "Philosophy." If there's another thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a luxury brand above and beyond whatever the brand is of the actual phone manufacturer. Of course this means that today any asshole with $550 burning a hole in his pocket can buy a Samsung phone by Giorgio Armani. Has Armani suddenly hired a team of engineers who have built a revolutionary new microchip that maximizes the phone's performance? No, Armani has done what he does best: Print his name in little letters on the phone, then wildly increase the price. This type of product's success (still going strong after six months) says a lot about the human need for validation through conspicuous consumption. But more importantly, it says that any old nonsensical piece of marketing copy can now be passed off as a statement of "Philosophy": More »

3:50 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
1,565 views, 27 comments

Latest by n/a: Looks like the Star Trek walkie talkie gone black. It also has a phillips head screw showing on its side view. Take $300 off for that mistake. more »