Doorman Suspended Over Bad Breath [NYDN]

Manhattan Art Gallery Is Shut as Lawsuits Multiply [NYT]

Also, from the coworker of Elena's who brought this story to our attention: "I work at the same firm as Ms. Elbogen-Glatt. (She's NOT popular with the admins...)" Can't imagine why not.

Intrigued by Elana's unique sense of self-worth, we decided to take a quick peek at her Bloomies' registry. Shit is intense. It's not that the goods requested are so fancy, it's the sheer volume of Wedgwood china and Vera Wang stemware that Elana and her DH put in for and then received that's staggering. And we can only hope that Elana finds some competent florists in the future to decorate her pad for the events where her guests will eat from those $325 "Nambe Mills hostess shrimp sauce bowls."

Our first black carpet sack was Nicole Fiscella, who plays Isabele Coates on the show . She showed us her tattoos. One says "Live to Inspire" in Sanskrit. The other is the Icelandic character for wisdom. "I have to cover them up for show," she said. Nearby some reporter from E! asked Leighton Meester (who plays Blair Waldorf), "Do you feel like this show is going to change your life?" Meester said: "It already has."

But it was really up to Les Moonves's wife and Big Brother host Julie Chen to ask the hard hitting questions. "Leighton," she said, sticking her microphone into Leighton's face space, "I've been pouring over interviews we've had in the past, you are by far the most intelligent and articulate person I've ever interviewed. [Beat] How do you do it?" In profile Meester's face looks like a delicate batiked Easter egg just beginning to crack.

Not to call Ms. Chen a liar but our favorite interviewee had to be Nan Zhang, who plays Katy Farkas. When asked what nationality her character was supposed to be, Zhang, who was born in China, replied, "I have no idea." But, and here's the cool part, even while she is on the show Zhang is continuing her studies at John Hopkins in premed and neuroscience! Zhang said that since she started filming the show, her social life has kind of gone to shit as now she constantly assesses the true intentions of her friends. Her shoes seemed like they were made out of diamonds.

As we made our way in, Nigel Lawson made his way out and "Charlie's Angels" director McG apologized to Josh Schwartz for leaving early. "We've gotta go man," he said to Schwartz. "I thought the party was from 7 to 10!" It was 8.

The inside of Tenjune (for those of you who have happily stayed away, it's basically just a basement) was filled with short squat men in horizontal stripes and taller skinnier women in baby doll shifts and halter tops. Daily News gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe, who we ran into at Florent later, called it the ninth circle of hell. Words like "wealthy," "sexy" and "naive" were projected onto the wall and Stealers Wheel's "Stuck In the Middle" played. In the VIP section, America's Next Top model winner Jaslene, who smells like an ashtray and looks like a tranny, was the only vaguely famous person. She was wearing a purple sequined beret.

Ideology was served alongside little cubes of watermelon and gorgonzola. After "Gossip Girl" premieres, the assembled congregation knew, the world would be a different place. The petites contretemps of the Upper East Side had found its spokespersons and right now, they were sipping mojitos and singing, "Well I don't know why I came here tonight, I got the feeling that something ain't right, I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair, And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs...."

[Photos: Jennifer Mitchell / Splash News]

We mention this because, apropos of nothing, we got two emails today directing us to Carrie's blog, both pointing out how stupid it is. Seems like somebody wants some attention. Well, congratulations, Carrie: your plan worked. Please send us a cut of the book deal cash. —emily

Take the nannies:

Mrs. Kargman wasn't raised with nannies, and she doesn't have an army of them. "Even if we could afford 24/7 live-in help, I'd never do it. It's alone time with the kids I treasure," she said. Their nanny, Jacky, works 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays, which enables Mrs. Kargman to work from home, usually between three and four hours a day.

Then there's her children's education:

One lesson she took from her upbringing is to use New York as a third parent. "My parents were constantly taking us to shows on and off Broadway. They took us to every single ZIP code," Mrs. Kargman said.

Mrs. Kargman is following that example, taking Sadie to everything from "Phantom of the Opera" to the Fairway in Red Hook, where they enjoy the view of New York harbor... Sadie takes ballet and a music class. "She is obsessed with ballet," Mrs. Kargman said. "Music, we sit on the floor, it's one teacher with a guitar. It's very mellow, and that's a good tip: The mellow classes attract mellow moms."

In the book, the momzillas have their toddlers booked solid. Mrs. Kargman likes the idea of less structure. "If you're so overprogrammed, you don't have time to imagine things and you end up more robotic. People who are so psycho controlling of their kids wind up with kids that don't have a personality. They're lumps," she said.

Facing the Momzillas—And Winning [NYS]

Church doctrine emphasizes proselytizing, and neighborhood missionaries hoping to convert new members have their work cut out for them. "This area is tough, because missionaries just can't get access to so many buildings," Bishop Jensen said.

Because building security so often precludes going door-to-door, New York missionaries must seek out would-be converts in other ways. Last Saturday, for example, six missionaries spent an hour handing out hot chocolate and religious literature on East 86th Street, near Second Avenue. About a dozen people picked up brochures and DVDs, and a few even vowed to visit the Upper East Side church.

Mormons Make Inroads On Upper East Side [NYS]

Entitlement and its sibling, rage, now run amok in the former truckin'-ground of blissed-out Bohemianism. Once-quiet streets are filled with idling black town cars waiting for uptown walk-on-water types—legal thugs and hedge fund hogs, barking bankers and corporate flacks-the only people who can afford to move to the "new" Village. Their fur-clad stroller-Nazi wives, nannies and trustafarian brats flood the aisles at Balduccis , er, Citarella.

Village Under Siege Pt. 2 [Michael Gross]

Earlier: Gramercy Park, Bastion of Manhattan Snobbery, Just Got Snobbier
Earlier: Jay McInerney: The Upper East Side, Like, So Over

Okay, so maybe it's a stretch, but Frank Rich is running low on column ideas.

Not a Care in the World [Street Moments' Flickr]
Earlier: Does It Smell Like Smoked Mozzarella Out Here, or Is it Just Me?"

"West 32nd" takes the cameras inside New York's gritty Korean underworld. After hustling his way onto a homicide case, attorney John Kim (Cho) finds himself thrust into a sordid world of hard realities and moral compromises after he is taken under the wing of a ruthless Korean gangster who knows no limits.

Doc's Lot for Sale in Land Boom [NYP via Curbed]
Asking price for NYC explosion site: $8M [AP]
[Photo: jenchung]

For Joy, another MicroSort Mom, it all came down to her relationship with her own mom. "I was very close with her, and then she passed away. So most of the people who know me are like, 'You're completely trying to replace the relationship with your mother,'" she said. "And maybe they're right—but I have the money, so I'm going to do it."

Are Upper East Siders born that way or made that way? Clearly, the answer is now "Both."

Brave New Boutique: Baby Sex Selection Sold On East Side [NYO]

Meanwhile, an update on more of the real victims: Bartha's neighbors filed suit against him on Friday and intend to proceed against his estate, claiming that his little stunt damaged their building and forced them to leave their co-op. The poor things — nobody forces Muffy out to the Gin Lane manor before she's had a chance to properly pack.

Suspect in NYC Building Collapse Dies [AP]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of the UES Explosion

Praise for her hero [NYDN]
Blast beauty kin thank city [NYDN]
Beauty's Blown Away [NYP]

If we lived in a Trump building we'd be very, very nervous right now.

Property's Value Set to Boom [NYP]
Earlier: Gawker's UES Explosion Coverage

That's just it, isn't it? In what a Manhattanite believes to be his last moments on this earth, he pens his final (insane) words and makes sure that his fucking real estate middleman gets a copy. Was it to let Baum know that since the property was about to be leveled, Bartha would no longer need his services? Surely Baum figured that out an hour later when he turned on the news. No, it turns out that Baum had received similarly raving dissertations from his unhinged client in the past. And that's how it works now. When we all inevitably lose our minds and enter our darkest hours, we'll turn to Manhattan's insidious gatekeepers, seeking forgiveness...and any new listings they might have.

62nd Street Broker Checks Blackberry: 'Bartha Bartha' [NYO]
Earlier: Gawker's UES Explosion Coverage

In order to spare you the genuine discomfort of actually having to read the entire thing, we've transcribed the more, er, compelling parts. And though the snippets may read as being taken out of context, rest assured that when put back in context, they make just as little sense. After the jump, Bartha's disturbed ramblings, renovation woes, and his thoughts on Jane Fonda.

[Ed: You might as will insert a big ol' sic for all of the following; we dilligently copied right down to the typos.]

—-—-—-—-—

Being in a cavern was one of my earliest memories. Latter I was told that we were hiding in the same cave where a jewish family was (Mandula who was a jeweler) hidden by gold mining families so they could not be deported..

—-—-—-—-—

Why U.S. Company's cannot make a few holes in Alaska?

The death of my brother.
My brother died because his wife was able to divorce him with lies and help from N.Y.S., with the help of the legal Aid Society, woman's shelters et cetera.

—-—-—-—-—

Cordula you are not as lucky as Erna. Cordula developed post partum depression and latter became psychotic after she had two daughters. She refused treatment.

—-—-—-—-—

Although the Dutch saved the Hahn family during the war where the Hahn's fled, the family showed no gratitude towards Holland they preferred to be berried in another country. Even now the Neverlands consulate in N.Y. employs Cordula.

—-—-—-—-—

The first article was concerning the Dutch abortion boats to Ireland (www.lifenews.com) and latter one to Portugal When I discussed it with Cordula she thought it is very funny. She refused to have an abortion herself in 1976!

—-—-—-—-—

Johanna you should be ashamed for your act two years in January you did not do any good to yourself. You told me not to think the life with Cordula is nice or easy. It will be better now! You told me if I would know what she is doing now I would kill her! Johanna the Pink Banana it is not a good idea dead people do not suffer I hope she will stay alive to age one hundred.

—-—-—-—-—

I wonder if there is a connection between pedophilia and easy divorce and homosexuality advocated by politicians and judges for several decades. Because of representatives as Sheldon Silver the amber low and certain rape lows are not passed in N.Y.

—-—-—-—-—

Her/comrade Judge Lobis you went to far with your judicial activisim (j. terrorism) and you created and delivered to Manhattan "Auschwitz West". I hope you and Cordula are satisfied with this achievement. Good accompaniment for 9/11. That is how you treat senior citizens who are 12.5 to 25% Jewish? missed by Adolf and the Iron Guard. I think I deserve a $7.000.000.00 crematorium/coffin I worked for it for 65+ years. It was not easy I will talk about later.

—-—-—-—-—

TO BE SUCESFULL IN N.Y.C. ONE HAS TO BE POLITICALLY CONNECTED.

I wanted to make some small changes in my house. Was not approved by the Building Department.

—-—-—-—-—

The anti American politicians and others who are against the war in Iraq [...] I hope they will succeed so that the the terrorists will move to the states. So people here will have a taste of suffering as when the East Europeans were given to the Russians by a very sick President Roosevelt at Yalta in 1945.

—-—-—-—-—

Air America in N.Y.C. they went, as far as to take over WLIB. 1190 AM the station with no listeners now.

—-—-—-—-—

Jane Fonda (Hanoi Jane) is against the war again. Some people will never mature.

—-—-—-—-—

The democratic column in N.Y.C. is so strong because most of the electorate is politically ignorant they are simple puppets that it would elect any fascist placed in the democratic column by far left democrats and they would be elected.

—-—-—-—-—

Cordula I hope you had a good time for the last 5 years as I can see you on the internet on 01 18 2005. Doing what you do best drink with Irene de Kiewit and Ann Barlow at the Orange Alert kick-off Party New York.

—-—-—-—-—

My work place at Mt. Vernon Hospital is the most dysfunctional work place I ever encountered Dr. C.Chin and the E.D. Supervisor Nurse Ms Carol Willson made it so.

—-—-—-—-—

Dr.F.Parker is constantly late up to three hours late. It happened to doctor Borker. Nothing happened. He is a very arrogant person. Why he could not make it to a U.S. school instead of a school on a sinking island. One day I explained the concept of old and new brain to Vernon. Dr. Parker made the remark Bush has none of them. He should stop reading the N.Y.Times at work and go on the net to leftists sites sustained by people like Soros...

—-—-—-—-—

Cordula my further staying alive does not make any sense. Work as described above is pure punishment. I will loose my office. Getting sick in even the most optimal conditions is not easy. Alone is certainly terrible. I cannot see myself in the mirror knowing that an alcoholic massed me up. On the other hand I know for sure I paid back those who harmed my brother and me. Life passed me by and I could not achieve everything I planed.

—-—-—-—-—

Paul I am sorry but I cannot put up with this situation any more I am glad you passed your board recertification. It made my decision easier.I hope your vacation was good.

P.S.
Fascism = Communism = Politically Correct.

—-—-—-—-—

P.S. #2 Ms Cindy Sheehan is desecrating her son's memory. I do not think she ever cared for her son the wishes of her family or her husband who is divorcing her.

Subject: bartha bartha. Importance: Low. [The Real Estate]
Earlier: Gawker's UES Explosion Coverage

When you read these lines your life will change forever. You deserve it. You will be transformed from gold digger to ash and RUBBISH digger.

I will leave the house only if I am dead. You ridiculed me. You should have taken it seriously.

He sent the email to at least a dozen other people and organizations, including Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Fox News Channel. Because if you're hell-bent on destruction, you're obviously going to reach out to Rupert Murdoch and the Terminator.

Marriage, Home Go Up in Flames [NYDN]
House That Blew Up Was a Dream and Then a Nightmare [NYT]
Related: A Building Collapses in New York... Post Facto [midweekpost's Flickr]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of UES Wreckage

Other evidence supporting the suicide theory: Bartha donated $250 to the Bush campaign.

Building Explodes and Collapses in NYC [1010 WINS]
34 East 62nd Street [Fundrace]
Also of interest: Passanneau Sells off the Rolls Royce [Classy Auto]
Earlier: Happy Monday: UES Building Explodes, Collapses

E6nd St Building Collapse: Resto Closures [Eater]
Earlier: Happy Monday: UES Building Explodes, Collapses

Also worth noting: the headquarters for billionaire Ron Perelman's Revlon are located directly across the street from the site of the explosion. You'd think Ellen Barkin wouldn't botch such an easy job.

Building Explodes and Collapses in NYC [1010 WINS]

It is, it turns out, a sort of weird place. And a little disappointing. It's huge, of course. And there's a lot of opulence. Mrs. Gooch had gold-plated bathtub; the enormous ballroom features a fireplace allegedly salvaged from Stanford White's house; the library is lined with George III paneling from an English country house; the master bedroom suite covers something like 2,000 square feet. But there's also an awful lot of '70s banality. Wall-to-wall carpet covers what one imagines were once beautiful hardwood floors; the walls are Sheetrocked and white, with no moldings in sight anywhere; each room has controls for a central hi-fi. The elevator remains from the 1920s renovation, and it's gorgeously detailed. But there's virtually no original detail anywhere else. But, at the same time, so what? None of the negatives really matter; it's all about the space, the location, and that pool. And if you've got the $45 million to make the minimum bid — they're due June 28, so you'll want to start working with a mortgage broker soon — we imagine you'll be planning a gut reno, anyway. Perhaps your architect can find a way to use the few remaining bits of Gooch's ongepotchket but no doubt well-provenanced baubles — in Bob's heyday, the house was full of the stuff — left behind in the basement?

Yeah, not so much. On all counts. No glitz, no glamour, no real style or design to the place whatsoever (save for the venue's ceiling, pictured above, which rivals that of the Sistine Chapel). Not even the coziness of Rao's — just leather banquettes, an out-of-sorts chandelier in the entryway, and a hefty dose of wall sconces. We couldn't help but wonder if someone like Timberlake would even go to a restaurant like this: very Little Italy, very high-end Sopranos.

Wait, the food. Yes, technically Destino is about food. We give it an "eh" or so: good meatballs, bad clams. Pasta decent, but overpriced. Everything was eaten with fork (for you, Hesser, all for you). The rest was sort of unremarkable, which made us rather sad for having ventured so far from our typical environs. But the wine was good, and the servers were attentive...and that's about the best we can muster for an Adam Platt imitation.

We can do a much better Frank Bruni impression, however. We're a bit embarrassed to even note this, but we couldn't stop singing along to the music being piped through the dining room. Stand-outs included Wilson-Phillips' Hold On, I Got the Power by Snap, and our personal favorite, the Nelson twins' timeless classic, Love and Affection. Honestly, it was like they had stolen our iPod and given it wings.

One highlight: Lizzie Grubman is repping the restaurant, meaning that even if it's just an average venue, you'll continue to hear about it 'til no end. We caught a look at her engagement ring, which is as huge as is to be expected. Naturally, anything less would be white trash.

Earlier: Justin Timberlake to Open Restaurant Hell

I live in a small, non-doorman, elevator building on the UES. For about the past week or so, every morning a copy of The New York Sun has been deposited on the floor outside my door. Same thing at my neighbors' doors. It has a printed subscription-type label on it with my correct full name and address. I did not order a subscription or a free trial of this newspaper and haven't given the matter much thought as I kick it inside my apartment every morning on my way out the door (other than that my paper recycling is piling up). This morning, there was a note posted on my neighbor's door: "Please do not leave copies of the NY Sun at my door." What is going on with this unsolicited campaign? Don't they know that no one reads this crap? One bonus: My cat threw up on it this morning... great aim, kitty!

Shit. Did someone steal the Gawker Media Cat?

Earlier:
Stephen Hastings Leaves 'N.Y. Sun' (and America)
Special Guest Commentary From the Gawker Media Cat

Given the roster of talent involved in the joint, we suspect Destino's dining room will resemble a casting call for Next, with tangerine-hued patrons spilling marinara sauce on their backless shirts. We can't wait, and neither can most of New Jersey.

New York City developers (and beloved local crackheads) William L. and Arthur W. Zeckendorf have agreed to pay $430 per square foot for the rights to the "unused" air at 60th Street and Park Avenue, located above the Christ Church and the Grolier Club (sorry, church-goers — you weren't really using that air anyhow). The Zeckendorfs plan to then transfer their air slightly to the west on 60th Street, where they'll then be able to bypass zoning laws and build a 35-story apartment tower.

While air rights are nothing new, the price paid by the Zeckendorfs is record-setting and, as such, outrageously absurd. But remember that the ends justify the means: by selling prime air at a high price, it ensures that most people can't even afford to breathe on the Upper East Side. And if that's what it takes to keep the ugly, poor folk away from the pretty ladies and delicate doormen, then we must support it.

$430 a Square Foot, for Air? Only in New York Real Estate [NYT]

"I've never had a Slurpee, but I can see those Slurpee containers in the street," fumed Judith Cutler, who lives on York Avenue. "I'm concerned about the transients... [in] the neighborhood."

Yes, those pesky transients, picking pockets and turning tricks just for a quick Brain Freeze fix. Can you not taste the forthcoming horror of dozens of jerky-addled customers, hungry for nothing more than lottery tickets and snacks?

UPDATE: Apparently this is the third 7-Eleven going in. A reader writes, "There's already a 7-11 up here on 3rd ave in the 80s, and it is the best thing to happen to this perpetually hungover yuppie in... days. I'd be seriously pissed if I had to drag ass all the way over to york avenue for a restorative slurpee."

East Side Gulps at 7-Eleven [NYP]

Just watch out for the crackhouse across the street from the 92nd Street Y. And try not to get shot in the chest while picking up your Tasti D.

Upper East Side Crack Cocaine Den Uncovered [NYS]
Shot on Mad. Ave. [NYDN]