Public Dogs
Maybe you like dogs but you can’t have a dog. That’s where public dogs come in.
A new online report ranks Tribeca as NYC’s best neighborhood to live in, if you like Eurotrash millionaires and freezing wind.
Why Don't You Ride the Bus?
The city of New York is concerned: bus ridership has been declining for years, even as subway use has been rising. Hey, why don’t you ride the bus?
Airbnb, Just Pay Your Taxes and Follow the Law and Shut Up
Airbnb is set for a new round of fundraising that would value the company at $30 billion. How do we regulate this ephemeral behemoth before it swallows our urban real estate markets whole?
History Repeats Itself, First as Musical, Second as Fitness Cult
“Hamilton”-themed SoulCycle classes?
The Era of Bank Branches on Every Corner Is Ending
Right now, 94% of U.S. commercial districts are composed of bank branches. (The other 6% are takeout salad lunch places.) The good news is that we may have already witnessed the peak of the “bazillions of banks, everywhere you look” era.
Always, Always Walk Down the Escalator
It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.
Bring Back Communes
Across America, rents are higher than ever, and they show no sign of slowing their climb. With housing shortages everywhere, owning a home seems like an impossible dream. Or is it?
Fancy Mayor De Blasio Thinks the Subway Runs Just For Him
New York City’s last mayor was a hawk-faced billionaire. Our current mayor, Bill “de” Blasio, is supposed to be a populist by comparison. Still, the process of riding the sub-way is enough to confound and mystify our city’s leader.
Boston Got Lots of Excuses All of a Sudden
It wasn't so long ago that Boston, a highway rest stop on the road from New York to Maine, was pining for the world's spotlight and asking to host the Olympic games and generally be the center of attention. My, how things change.
Terrifying: The Creative Underclass May Never Escape the City
Traditionally, young people come to the big city with a dream; then, when that dream inevitably fails to materialize, many of them move away to some smaller, more forgiving town and cry silently, years later, at what might have been. Now, the fucking tables have turned.
Report: World's Cities All Becoming Teeming Hellscapes
A decade from now, you will look back on the crowded, expensive, unforgiving urban landscape of New York City today and wish that life was still so cheap and spacious.
The Ten Worst People on the Subway
It's hot. The subways are crowded. People are peevish, sweating, and on edge. At times like this— when the social fabric of the city seems to hang by the thinnest of threads—it's important to relax, take a deep breath, and contemplate exactly who you hate in this godforsaken underground tunnel maze, and why.
How Many Carats Was Your Engagement Ring? Not That We Care
Among the most popular current queries over at UrbanBaby.com, a popular online message board for wealthy adult urban babies: "curios after reading the below post - how many carats is your engagement ring & where do you live? I live in NYC, engagement ring is 1.5 carats."
Millennials Will Destroy Our Cities Coming and Going
The biggest demographic challenge of our times is this: how can we funnel the "Millennial" generation away from our nation's biggest and best cities and into some isolated holding area—a rural internment camp, perhaps—where they cannot do damage to all of the grown-ups, or make a lot of noise at all hours? The bad…
White Guy Gets to the Bottom of that Fist Bump Thing
When two black guys make fists and then bump their fists together and then say to one another, "Respec," with no "t" on the end: what is that all about? Middle-aged white Republican male Jay Nordlinger knows.
Is It Time to Loathe College Kid Farmers Yet?
Trend science is a delicate art. The progression of a group or a place or an activity from "strange" to "offbeat" to "trendy" to "hateful" is one that can often only be precisely decoded by experts such as ourselves, or whatever other assholes have opinions on the internet. For example: we know for sure that urban…
Bizarro U.S. City Does Not Harass Immigrants
How desperate is crumbling Baltimore, Maryland for a population infusion now that those "see where The Wire was filmed!" bus tours are growing less popular? The city is actually not using every last dollar in its law enforcement budget to chase down and harass brown-skinned immigrants in a desperate attempt to focus…
When Do You Really 'Become a New Yorker?'
The question has been asked ever since the first wet-behind-the-ears whelp fresh from Ireland stumbled off a boat at New York Harbor, dying from scurvy: When does someone become a real New Yorker?
