How Many Square Feet Must Your House Be in Order For Your Child to Have Friends?
Who gives the best advice? You, the idiots slacking off at your stupid job, reading Gawker. One wealthy mom desperately needs your help!
“Is it rude to ask my [brother-in-law] not to come over for a bbq? I am 3 months pregnant and BIL is Panamanian and my sister mentioned that he traveled there recently to visit his brother. I am afraid he could have zika now.” A reminder that Urbanbaby still exists, and is good.
The upper class readers of Urban Baby seem to think that the universities with the most annoying graduates are Harvard, Notre Dame, and Duke. Huh... they’re right.
Have You Talked to Your Child About Money?
"I found out my second grader has not been eating lunch all year. I give him money for lunch but he apparently didn't know what it was for, so he threw it out. Wtf? I am sort of stunned. How did he not know this???"
The Pedigree of Urban Babies
UrbanBaby.com has a reputation as the message board of choice for wealthy, sophisticated, hateful east coast urbanites. What is the real lineage of anonymous UrbanBaby posters? Why, they are glad that you asked.
"I got engaged over Christmas. I am really unhappy, though. This will sound shallow but I am pissed the ring is so much smaller than I imagined." The struggle is real.
It's sunny, the weekend is here, and there's a new UrbanBaby.com thread about a mom who secretly despises her kids. Life's not so bad sometimes.
"I think one experiment with [casual] sex is fine. Just like trying cocaine once is fine. More than that is hedonistic and gross in my opinion." The upscale readers of UrbanBaby.com discuss the perfect number of sex partners before marriage.
"Only little boys and low-class men are into breasts." "I will tell me $2mm a year hedge fund DH from a prominent family that my natural 32DDs make him low class. He will love that." The patrician commenters of UrbanBaby.com discuss true beauty.
Your UrbanBaby.com thread of the day: "Got invited to applebees by friend. (she's [middle class]) what do you order there?" Suggestions include "maybe a side salad with no dressing," "Iced tea, then eat at home," and "Is there a Le Pain Quotidien nearby?"
21 Types of People Hated By UrbanBaby.com Readers
UrbanBaby.com is the Craigslist of the wealthy stay-at-home mom set; it's the Thought Catalog of the second-home-in-the-Hamptons family. Today's most popular discussion topic: "I hate old people. What non-racial group are you prejudiced against?"
"Roll Call - Age/City/[household income]. I'll start."
How Many Carats Was Your Engagement Ring? Not That We Care
Among the most popular current queries over at UrbanBaby.com, a popular online message board for wealthy adult urban babies: "curios after reading the below post - how many carats is your engagement ring & where do you live? I live in NYC, engagement ring is 1.5 carats."
How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby
While much of New York City turned to the tabloids this morning to read more about the Upper West Side preschoolers apparently stabbed to death by their nanny (who then turned the knife on herself), the real action was all happening elsewhere: at UrbanBaby, where dozens of superrich New York parents have been dishing…
"Is it just me or did the women gymnasts have 'white trash' names?" UrbanBaby.com does the Olympics.
Rich Person or Troll? The Perpetual UrbanBaby Riddle
The message boards of UrbanBaby.com are home to some of the most self-loathing, wealthy, haughty, and miserable parents in all of America. Or are they? Even to our keen internet eyes, it is sometimes impossible to tell whether an UrbanBaby poster is a rich person, or a troll impersonating a rich person. Can you help?
Here Are Some Rich New Yorkers Whining About Feeling Poor
In the mood for some class rage? (Of course you are.) Gothamist points us to message board on uptight parenting forum UrbanBaby asking, "What's your hhi [household income] and do you FEEL poor, middle class, upper middle class or rich where you live. No judging."
Prep School Mom Declares Twitter War Against Child's School
An unhinged helicopter mom has taken fancy-pants Manhattan academy the Trinity School hostage. Her weapon of choice: Twitter.
Moms In A Holi-Daze: How Would Santy Gift The Staff Best?
The holidays are a stressful time for everybody—estranged families, bourbon distributors, Chinese restaurants, poor people. How are the mommies over at UrbanBaby dealing with the crunch? Currently, they're trying to figure out the most appropriate—yet still demeaning—way to reward "the help" for their efforts this…
UrbanBaby Puts Pregnant Ladies In Their Place
Every time we feel a pang of sympathy for pregnant moms—no one gives them seats on the subway anymore, after all—it's dashed by services like "Dress the Belly," a personal shopping service for pregnant moms. UrbanBaby explains it all today in their daily email: "After styling her sister-in-law through two trimesters,…
