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Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
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CuffLinks
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Regarding Richard Gere and the gerbil rumor, does anyone actually know anyone who has "gerbilled"? I call bullshit -- not just on Gere's sexuality but gerbilling in general. I am a gay man and although my own tastes are somewhat pedestrian, I have friends who do all sorts of crazy things and none of us know of any gay men who "gerbil." My stepfather worked in an emergency room and has had to remove all sorts of things from men's butts. Never did he have to remove a gerbil. Okay maybe someone somewhere after hearing the Richard Gere rumor might have tried it but gerbilling is not a thing. You never see people advertising for it on Craig's List, do you??
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CumaeanSibyl
08/10/09

@CuffLinks: There are several urban legends going around about "gerbilling," but -- as Snopes points out -- they all seem to be aimed at making gay men look disgusting and stupid. "Oh yeah, well, you know what those homos do??"
As your stepfather learned, people stick all kinds of things up there, but those things are almost always smooth and rounded, not, you know, panicky and clawed. Very few people are looking for pain in that area, and those who are probably have other ways of achieving it that don't involve small animals.
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FrankenPC
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Yeah...whatever. Lady GaGa is one hot piece of hermaphrodite a$$!!
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hamburgerhotdog
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
How can we leave Stevie Nick's collapsed nasal septum (and, uhh.....other stuff) off this list?!
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
08/10/09

@hamburgerhotdog: wait - that's not true?
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___
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
What about the one where Colin Farrell was stumbling down Avenue A, blind drunk, and a beautiful woman picked him up in a cab and took him to the Hotel Gannsevort for a night of lovemaking and he woke up the next morning in a bathtub filled with ice and his kidneys were missing?
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raincoaster promoted this comment Edited by ___ at 08/10/09 5:05 PM ___ was starred ___ was unstarred

raincoaster
08/11/09

@Big Poppa: Any day now.
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Occula
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Want to hear my Nell Carter story? I was in charge of babysitting her at a press junket at the Omni once. This is not a joke: she locked me in the bathroom in her hotel room and made me drink 2 large coffee carafes of espresso as 'a colonic' because she wanted me to lose weight like she was doing. She said Jesus had told her to lose weight like that. Did i drink it? You're goddamned right I did, Pat Kingsley was my boss back then and you did what the clients wanted, even if it was fucking stupid. Did I almost die from cramps and explosive diarrhea? Thanks, Nell Carter! Point of the story: I'd believe anything I heard about Nell Carter and blow.
I also worked with Richard Gere. He's the loveliest gentleman but the gerbil story is probably true. He was a lunatic cokehead in NY back when he did theatre and doubtless did all sort of shit back then. iif you ask any emergency department doctor how many animals or objects they've pulled out of people's rear ends, they'll go on for hours. It's not really that surprising, it's just that it was a story that got out before it became de rigeur for the press to comment on all the astonishingly dumb shit actors do.
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momo
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
You can put cocaine (or aspirin or whathaveyou) in the vagina or up the ass to get high. It's similar to using a suppository for an anti-nauseal, etc.
If you want an end-of-night (or morning) boost, you can stick an exhausted coke baggie up your ass. Or? Up the ass of a loved on.
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bytememehard
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Just let it go already. I mean, who hasn't inserted a live animal or some sort at one time or another.
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Weegee's bored
08/10/09

@bytememehard: How do you think Jim Morrison got to be known as the Lizard King?
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shostakobitch
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
i heard that backstage at coachella paul mccartney had young men of varying ethnicity on hand to jizz on his back shortly before he took the stage. or at least that was the joke we continually made.
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Spirit Fingers
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
For those of you who haven't heard the Richard Gere story of insane funny. It goes like this: Gere, famous for his love of alternative sexual escapades, decided one day that "doin it" the old fashion way with, you know, humans wasn't stimulating enough, sooo he introduced a little friend of the rodentia family into his copulating i.e. a gerbil. Yes, a gerbil was commissioned to travel up into his waste elimination cavity and give Mr. Gere an entirely new catalog of delights. From there the story varies. I've heard said animal subsequently suffocated and died, thus requiring a quite embarrassing emergency room visit. Others insist said gerbil still dwells somewhere in the upper bowels of the man to this day, living in peace and harmony among other animals and items of erotica. Lemmiwinks is his name.
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Edited by Spirit Fingers at 08/10/09 2:19 PM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

jasonelias
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
That Nell Carter story is probably true. Sadly doing coke from Nell Carter's vagina is what really killed Dolph Sweet.
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scroll_lock
08/10/09

@jasonelias: A jacked-up-on-coke Dana Plato hid a six month stash and a stolen VW bus inside Nell Carter.
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Artur Van Asinine
08/10/09

@scroll_lock: help me find the keys, and we can drive out of here!
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jasonelias
08/10/09

@scroll_lock: Gary Coleman lost all of his Matchbox's up there too.
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scroll_lock
08/10/09

@jasonelias: Emmanuel Lewis left his Dukes of Hazzard pinball machine in there one day, which explains the "ding ding" sound emanating from Nell's nethers when she sat AROUND the house.
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jasonelias
08/10/09

@scroll_lock: Heh heh, I can't top that
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BookishLookish
08/10/09

@scroll_lock: I love you. Jesus, what a fucking day, I needed that, sugar pop!
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Edited by BookishLookish at 08/10/09 7:31 PM BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred

Private Hangnail
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
I fail to see what the big deal is with getting an erection every time you see a Habitrail.
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scroll_lock
08/10/09

@Private Hangnail: An Officer and a Mental Man.
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Private Hangnail
08/10/09

@scroll_lock: Nights in Rodent-He.
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scroll_lock
08/10/09

@Private Hangnail: Shall We Dance Like We Have Gerbils In Our Rectums?
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KentuckyBabe
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
oh my lord. come on. We've all seen Lady Gaga's crotch enough to know she doesn't have a penis.
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Weegee's bored promoted this comment KentuckyBabe was starred KentuckyBabe was unstarred

Weegee's bored
08/10/09

@KentuckyBabe: It's retractable. Works on one AAA battery (not included).
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DahlELama
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Wait, that Jamie Lee Curtis one's not true? I learned that one in Bio!
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magnets
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
Ciara's phantom dong > Gaga's, imo
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Maura Johnston
08/10/09

In reply to Six Urban Legends We're Glad Won't Die
That "confirmation" was pulled from a December '08 post on a not-very-funny satire site. (Another headline: "Angelina Jolie steals Asian child.")
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