KREM 2's morning weather anchor Danielle Grant may have been reading the minds of her more puerile viewers when she noted that the weather for Valentine's Day week was expected to be "slow and slutty."

The Grand Romantic Gesture is a trope as old as romance itself.

Formerly known as The Hand Job, Funny or Die writer Maggie Carey's directorial debut The To Do List follows the coming-of-age misadventures of "a Type-A overachiever (Aubrey Plaza) who comes up with a 'to-do list' featuring all the risqué extra-curricular activities she missed out on in high school and wants to…

Those of you who caught the news (revealed, no doubt coincidentally, in two different articles published on the same day) that New York Times media wunderkind Brian Stelter and NY1 traffic reporter Jamie Shupak are dating — and have been for five months, apparently — may be wondering what we wondered this morning when…

A Portland couple was arrested last night and accused of disorderly conduct after police heard multiple reports that a woman was "tied up in a car with duct tape over her mouth."

Happy Valentine's Day: Watch your step. Don't hurt yourself. [Animal]

If you could somehow imprison a human female inside a Reddit AMA, this one with pick-up artist Neil Strauss would be my exact definition of Hell. At home in a sycophantic sea of female-phobic nerds, the Twitter-verified Strauss answers such hard-hitting questions as "Can we smell your finger?" His response:

The new resident Gawker therapist, Anonymous, is a licensed therapist who treats many different patients, but specializes in teens and couples therapy. After many years in the field, Anonymous has lots of stories and insight to share. We'll be publishing some of them here. Today: a dose of relationship reality.

Shrieking tabloid xenophobe and enemy of sluts Andrea Peyser really hates Valentine's Day. Haha, "shocker," right? Haha, "breaking news." Haha. But seriously guys.

The public relations industry often seems like a vast sea of ineptitude, studded with fetid islands of grotesquerie. No more so than when approaching Valentine's Day. This is PR Dummies. The worst of the worst, on a weekly basis.

On Valentine's Day, surgeons at the University of California San Diego performed the most romantic procedure possible: They installed a second heart in 36-year-old Tyson Smith's chest, so he could have "two hearts beat as one."

Last nights How I Met Your Mother coined a new holiday for all singles on the day that falls before February 14th—Desperation Day. It's apparently when all singles become extremely aware of their solitude and put out.

This Valentine's Day, did you do one of the following?

These four bros didn't seem too thrilled about celebrating the Hallmark holiday while riding the R train—presumably to meet the recipients of those bouquets—yesterday evening. Image by reader Jen Taylor.

Jennifer Tapper, wife of ABC White House correspondent Jake Tapper, has given her husband the best gift of all for Valentine's Day: She joined Twitter. And tweeted at him. It is the love story of our time.

We asked our beloved commenters for their best and worst breakup stories. We received lots of tales of heartbreak that would make even the most diehard romantic hate Valentine's Day. But, naturally, there could only be one winner.

If you're in a committed relationship, you'll need to observe Valentine's Day in one way or another. The problem is that there are few suitable gifts for the romantic holiday and each one carries with it a certain connotation. Be careful what you choose, because it says a lot about you.

This morning we looked at a couple of humorous suggestions for where single people can spend Valentine's Day, sparking many a gripe about being a lonely singleton on V-Day and how miserable it is. Luckily one commenter swooped in and reminded us that it's going to be bad for everyone.

Single on Valentine's Day? Instead of complaining loudly and publicly or going to some kind of stupid themed singles event, you should take a trip to Malaysia or Russia, where religious authorities are attempting to crack down on the decadent Western celebration of couples being gross with each other.