• more about #valleywag more comments →
    hatey: My birthday is in mid-November, and, typically, I celebrate by getting piss-myself-drunk and ending friendships. In 2005, I was on good behavior (tho... more »
    Novaload: Why can't all advice be this funny AND this useful?! more »
    bodegacat: You could combine 1, 2, 3 and 4 by yelling "Look, it's Rob Pattinson!" and then pushing through in a tight V-formation in this uniform: more »
    Dot:   And now a break in the horror for a puppy picture. more »
    MisterHippity: When the relatives get you down, just close your eyes and imagine "Turkey Lurkey Time" in your head. Before you know it, a smile will slowly sprea... more »
    Dot: My brush with (the Wal-Mart, Black Friday) death: Because of hangovers and still being awake, and after a vicious T-giving fest with my family, my man... more »
    BadUncle: When it comes to healthcare, I just tell my GOP relatives that my most-recent doctor has opted out of all HMOs. He sent a letter telling everyone he c... more »
    nicepony: calla lilies. people like them always like calla lilies. more »
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming: 28,299... pretty close more »
    tunamelt: Let's do this again for Christmas. I have great ones for Christmas. more »
    Mediahohoho: Had I gone home to the heartland, I would have been surrounded by 25 family members, including some from the family my nephew married into, the matria... more »
    Lysergic Asset: The Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer is awesome, if deeply and unapologetically cynical. It's a great complement to this comment thread. more »
    Aidan_: I was dragged to a Black Friday sale at a Circuit City by my yuppy cousin two years ago. Never again. Online shopping and excursions to the mall in mi... more »
    flossy: At my Thanksgiving dinner we had, among others: my quasi-aunt who loves Jesus so much she writes Bible verses on everything, like wrapping paper and g... more »
    Swifter: On Thanksgiving days of yore, the officers would wear their dress blues and bring their families to the mess hall to eat with the troops. Politics wer... more »
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