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The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
| posts about #vanessahudgins more → |
The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars |
10/20/09
Host: Computer-generated imagery of a pioneer of the industry: First up, Charlie Chaplin. Next year, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks co-host.
Producer: Anyone who made a movie before 1985.
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Any period piece starring an actor/actress over 40 with a slew of remade classics as runner-up nominees.
Opening Number: A "We Are The World" type number with a crowd of film stars from the last century singing in unison. Anyone who can sing lyrics from a teleprompter without bifocals and walk on stage without breaking a hip is eligible. Call your agent.
Clips Reel: In lieu of speeches from any and all winners (stand, take a bow, sit back down--we'll mail your little golden guy), clip reels, montages and more clip reels!
Log Line: The way we were.
10/20/09
10/20/09
Host: Ricky Gervais
Producer: Ricky Gervais
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Can't say yet as the movies I've seen: Jennifer's Body, An Education, 500 Days of Summer, The Hurt Locker, Transformers: ROTF, Public Enemies, Taken, The September Issue, none really stands out as the best of anything.
Opening Number: Ricky riffing on the death of the studios and the star system as studio heads and aging former powerhouses cringe in their seats.
Clips Reel: None. The show is too long as is
Log Line : The truth and nothing but the truth, so help us all #oscars
10/21/09
Host: Ricky Gervais
Producer: Karl Pilkington
Ideal Best Picture Winner: Give Pixar what it fucking deserves... Up
Opening Number: Stephen Merchant doing the robot
Clips Reel: Spoof of Twilight
Log Line: Laugh & Let Die #oscars
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The Holocaust Oscars, where no one has a good time but every film is a winner. #oscars
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