That Lars von Trier certainly discombobulates people who watch his movies! For instance, there's Peter Debruge, chief international film critic of Variety, who just wrote his review of von Trier's four-hour Nymphomaniac, which includes the following passage:

Jay Penske, the racing scion and media mogul who likes to employ Hollywood shut-in Nikki Finke when he's not busy (allegedly!) assaulting and urinating on strange women in public, has purchased Hollywood's oldest and most storied trade rag. Let the unceasing drama begin!

In your soggy Thursday media column: a rumored bid for Variety, Penthouse's owner has a cheap IPO, Erin Burnett's going to CNN, Slate's editor likes Slate, and a Reader's Digest recipe kerfuffle.

In your awful Monday media column: an accident at ABC News, a good year at The Atlantic, staff losses at Variety, bright ideas from Mort Zuckerman, publications go for the iPad, and Anderson Cooper's show has a name.

In your backstabby Tuesday media column: Aussie papers want Col Allan back, Daily Beast staffers are pissed at their bosses, Tribune Co is canning its executives, News Corp's paywall is still flickering, and Variety's booting its editor. Hard times.

In your snippy Tuesday media column: Rupert Murdoch gets snippy at Pinch Sulzberger, Sumner Redstone gets snippy at Rupert Murdoch, we get snippy at the LA Times, and Variety's readership gets snipped.

In your counterfeit Friday media column: Rupert Murdoch launches the first volley in the new paywall wars, ABC News employees face a buyout deadline, Forbes loses a key editor, and Variety throws a hissyfit.

Does reclusive Hollywood scoopstress Nikki Finke want out of her multimillion dollar^* deal with Mail.com? She says she recently turned down an offer from the Hollywood Reporter to lead the flailing trade. Her archnemesis Sharon Waxman hears they're still talking.

According to director Joshua Newton's lawsuit against Variety for breach of contract—he's mad that Variety trashed his movie after selling him on a $400,000 Oscar campaign—the paper doesn't think its own reviews matter.

Joshua Newton, the director who thought a $400,000 Oscar campaign in Variety would buy his movie a positive review, has made good on his threat to sue the Hollywood trade.

Joshua Newton, the director of Iron Cross, forced Variety to spike a critical review of his film from the web because he'd purchased a $400,000 Oscar campaign in the paper. But that wasn't enough—now he's considering suing.

Last month, Variety panned a thriller called Iron Cross. But the review has been disappeared from Variety's web site, which probably has something to do with the $400,000 Iron Cross' producers paid to Variety for an awards campaign.

In your deathly Wednesday media column: magazines set to perish in 2013, Jon Landman defended, Ted Koppel treated like a common whore, and Variety for sale, cheap!

Star Variety reporter Mike Fleming—the scoop outlet of choice for movie types—is leaving to run Deadline/New York, the NYC outpost of Nikki Finke's operation. Nikki made another hire in London. Good luck, trades! [Thompson on Hollywood]

There will be a time when everyone gets their entertainment through cortex-implanted microchips. But for now, people are still watching a lot of "traditional" (i.e. not Hulu) television. According to a Nielsen study, 99% of video viewing is via TV.