Luxury fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, two men who have almost certainly personally adjusted the breasts of many of your favorite celebrities, were each issued a jail sentence of one year and eight months on Wednesday in Italy, for tax evasion.

John Edwards' campaign finance fraud trial ended today in a manner so shambolic not even your mistress' spiritual advisor could have foreseen it.

Remember James Arthur Ray, the Oprah-endorsed "guru" who hosted a sweat lodge "vision quest" that caused the deaths of three people and "vomit everywhere"? The one overheard stating "It's a good day to die" while people literally died in front of him?

Updated. After a tawdry trial featuring a clothed death photo, a naked death photo, and a slew of unbelievable sad documents illustrating the King of Pop's demise, physician Dr. Conrad Murray has been found guilty the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson.

Remember Steven Slater, the folk hero of summer 2010 who ditched his JetBlue flight after cussing out a passenger and sliding down the inflatable slide?

Sometimes the news just cycles round and round and you can't tell when a story is new or old. Just like today when Lindsay Lohan appeared in court looking like a mess and had her probation revoked. Now she might go back to jail. Yeah, we've heard this song and dance before.

Amanda Knox's study abroad from hell is over. Today an Italian appeals court overturned the American co-ed's conviction for the sexually-motivated 2007 murder of roommate Meredith Kercher. After four years in detention, the woman known to the international press as Foxy Knoxy will be "immediately released."

So this is how it is, then? Phillip Seaton (pictured)—an innocent man who went in for a routine adult circumcision and awoke to find that a ding dong doc had dinged his ding dong till it was clean gone—has been awarded not one red cent by a jury of his peers. (A "six-man, six-woman jury," his peers? Are they, really?…

No one likes to talk about this particular sphere of gridlock in American public life anymore, but let's rehash it for old time's sake: Why can't we try terrorism suspects in U.S. criminal courts instead of Guantanamo military commissions?

After Casey Anthony's surprise acquittal yesterday for the 2008 murder of daughter Caylee, the warrior wailers of CNN-HLN asked, How could a jury let this "lying, no-good slut" off the hook?

The verdict is in. After a tabloid-monopolizing murder trial, Casey Anthony has been found "not guilty" of killing daughter Caylee in 2008, which is odd, because the trial-by-press was pretty unanimous about her guilt.

The verdict is out in the second federal corruption trial of former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. His fortune wasn't as good this time around. The jury found him guilty on 17 of the 18 counts that it could reach an agreement on, including but not limited to his attempt to sell President Obama's old Senate seat.

The jury in the corruption (re-)trial of Illinois ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich has reached a verdict on 18 of 20 counts. It will be read around 2pm. Get on a plane to Mexico hella fast, Blags. (Too late now.)

Jeffrey Locker (pictured) was a motivational speaker. He was good enough to motivate a random guy that he met on the street, Kenneth Minor, to take his ATM card in exchange for holding a knife as Locker repeatedly impaled himself on it, and died.

Reggae star Buju Banton has been found guilty on charges of conspiracy to distribute cocaine in Miami. His first trial ended in a hung jury; no such luck this time. He was also found guilty of a gun charge. He faces up to 20 years in prison. Fellow reggae stars and fans are upset. [Miami New Times, photo via Getty]

Muzzammil Hassan, the Buffalo businessman who founded a television channel to counteract stereotypes about Muslims, was found guilty of murdering and beheading his wife. In his closing statement, Hassan argued that he was the victim of spousal abuse. [Buffalo News]

Ngozi Pole, ex-Sen. Ted Kennedy's office manager for four years, was convicted yesterday of stealing more than $75,000 from the staff budget through secret "bonuses" he gave himself. Good. Now that that's cleared up, Washington is 100% theft-free again.

Saudi prince Saud Abdulaziz bin Nasser al Saud has been found guilty of strangling and beating his servant to death in a London hotel last February, in a drunken attack with "a sexual element." He'll be sentenced tomorrow. [BBC]