Paramount probably could have lived with Jon Stewart's slobbering praise for Slumdog Millionaire last night on The Daily Show. If only it had stopped there.

The media frenzy over a Portland sex-and-lies scandal is playing out in such classic fashion, it's easy to forget the protagonists — Mayor Sam Adams and his barely legal paramour, Beau Breedlove — are gay.

After Viacom went blazingly public Wednesday with its threat of an MTV/Comedy Central/Nickelodeon blackout on Time Warner Cable, an 11th-hour truce settled the matter just in time for 2009.

Yesterday America fell to its knees, wailing, because Time Warner threatened to pull several networks off the air because of a spat with Viacom. Well it's all over now so return to the couch, sheep.

Ensnared in a vicious battle over 23 cents per customer, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Daily Show, South Park and the rest of Viacom's cable offerings may vanish tonight for 13 million Time Warner subscribers.

From New York to Los Angeles, Viacom channels like Comedy Central are set to flicker off cable systems in the first minute of 2009. Sumner Redstone's desperation finally impacted your life!

MTV tacked on a $500 stocking stuffer to the final paychecks of those charity bloggers it was avoiding paying. Could it be the raunchy Viacom network believes in God? Or at least karma?

Sumner Redstone is so desperate for cash, he might not even be a billionaire any more. So he's decided his daughter will take the fall, and is embarrassing her with a huge public fight this morning.

Following our request for information yesterday, we heard from a good number of freelancers who said MTV was stiffing them on paychecks. Including people MTV got charity money to support.

Freelancers: Is MTV slow paying your recent invoices? Because one tipster tells us the Viacom subsidiary followed hundreds of layoffs with a policy to freeze outgoing payments October through January.

Happy Holidays from Viacom, the home of hundreds of holiday layoffs! Employees, please observe these piddling, needless rules as you slave away in our caverns on Christmas. MEMO AHEAD:

Viacom, the parent company of MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, and Nickelodeon (among others), recently laid off 7% of their staff. That is 850 people, folks! But apparently, Nickelodeon president Cyma Zarghami doesn't think it's any reason to cancel Christmas, hosting a party for a chosen few— but Viacom's employee party …

As you may have already heard, a staggering 850 people were laid off from Viacom today. Torrents of blood washed down the halls of MTV on both coasts, with added security in wading boots posted on every floor for "observation" (translation: making sure downsized employees don't try to swipe a promotional copy of …

The 850 layoffs at Viacom today—including hundreds at MTV—are claiming the livelihoods of tons of hardworking people who did their jobs well without ever receiving fame and fortune. And just like when a jumbo jet crashes with hundreds of souls aboard, the first question is: "Were any celebrities involved?" You know…

It's ugly out there today, isn't it? Viacom announced this morning that it plans to eliminate 850 positions, cuts that will take place "broadly" across the conglomerate's portfolio of media properties. NBC Universal followed up with the news it's slashing 1,350 positions. Credit Suisse revealed plans to pink-slip…

The long-feared Viacom pre-post holiday layoffs are here, and they're not pretty. We heard earlier that as many as 300 layoffs might be coming at MTV today, but the total, Viacom-wide numbers are even worse: 850 people are being cut, about 7% of the company's global staff. And top management is "suspending salary…

Chatter about big layoffs at Viacom and its MTV unit have been in the air for weeks, with firings at the latter recently expected Wednesday or Thursday of this week. Hell, the bloodletting may already have begun. But the latest gossip says the worst is yet to come: A gobsmacking 300 people coast to coast let go by the…