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idiocracy is real
Guantanamo Bay: The Video Game
A British software company is developing a video game in which the player is a terror detainee at Guantanamo Bay and has to escape and kill a bunch of "mercenaries." It's based in part on the experiences of an actual Gitmo prisoner, Moazzam Begg, who's a consultant to the game. More » -
from the archives
Bill O'Reilly and Co. Investigate the Nintendo Craze
In 1988, a young Bill O'Reilly and his Inside Edition team tried to answer the question: "What the hey is this 'Mario Brothers' craze sweeping the nation?" They failed, of course. Entertainingly! More » -
ivy league
Yalie Demands $1 Million for Lost (Magic) Xbox
Yale junior Jesse Maiman is suing US Airways for $1 million because his Xbox came up missing from his checked baggage. Excessive? Not when you consider that Xbox saved his friend's very sanity. More » -
video games
'Resident Evil' Forces Reluctant Nation to Address Zombie Racism
"Is it racist for white people to shoot black zombies?" asks the prestigious Wall Street Journal. It's a touchy issue, and we all have our opinions. But are those opinions stupid? More » -
the view
Elisabeth Hasselbeck Rails Against Demonic, Liberal Devil-Tool Known As 'Wii Fit'
Think the newly embiggened Jessica Simpson has it rough? That's nothing compared to the poor fat children victimized by the Nintendo cruelty machine Wii Fit, opines hysterical View hostess Elisabeth Hasselbeck. More » -
video games
Jocks Cede Role Model Status To Nerds
Remember in the olden days when pro athletes and Olympians would grace our soft drink ads, urging us to guzzle the nutritionally barren sugar water in order to be a champion like them, cognitive dissonance be damned? Yea, if you listen to athletes now, you are old and laughable. The new (and far more appropriate!) face of Dr. Pepper is a 21-year-old kid who makes a quarter of a million bucks playing video games. Why I never! Lazy kids nowadays! There is simply no way not to sound like some parody of Dave Barry making "these kids!" jokes while writing about this development. But what you need to know is that if you have skills with a Wii controller, you better watch out for the geek paparazzi: More » -
advertising
Investment In Bullshit Ads Plummets
When times were good and the economy was strong, you could sell companies any old kind of patently ridiculous ad. Did marketing savants really believe that spending wildly to place their brands inside "The Sims" was going to pay off in money that is made out of paper, and spendable here on Earth? It's doubtful. They just got caught up in the sheer newness of plastering their logo anywhere and everywhere, and then made up some bullshit about "branding" to explain the expense. Well that shit is over now, suckas! More » -
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viacom
Viacom Company Mysteriously Cancels Party
If you were planning on going to the awesome MTV Games party tomorrow night to preview AC/DC Live video game, we have some bad news: the Viacom company's PR firm says it's been postponed "Due to other scheduled events in the area." Other scheduled events like...rumored massive layoffs? Well that would certainly be one theoretical possibility. Click through for the sad cancellation notice. [UPDATE: And a statement from MTV Games]: More » -
the sims 3
Digital Baubles Alleviate Crushing Pain Of Modern Life
Attention nerds: retailers are extremely interested in your imaginary nerd money. And they're coming into your nerd land to woo you! Specifically by purchasing all types of "dynamic in-game ads" in the new version of The Sims—a computer game featuring attractively rendered digital versions of nerds performing mundane tasks such as washing dishes and going to the grocery store, which are "fun" only in comparison to the sad isolation and anomie of the modern nerd's real life. Not only can you buy virtual Ikea furniture and H&M clothes in a pallid simulacrum of the American dream; now, you can play in a world free of the unrelenting pain of your everyday existence: More » -
espn
Americans Only Understand Sports In Video Game Format
ESPN is the USA's sports leader, sanctioned by God, the American Way, and Brett Favre. Males of a certain age (11-75) who don't watch the network risk placing themselves under serious suspicion of being candy ass pansy boy homos, NO HOMO. So you'd think that ESPN wouldn't have trouble drawing young viewers. But America's sports indoctrination machine is flagging because of the internet and the computers and the fatness! So ESPN has been forced to take drastic and, we daresay, un-American measures: More » -
video games
In Young Hollywood, You're Only As Big As Your Xbox Live Gamerscore
The LAT ran a feature today on the newest male-bonding craze to consume Hollywood power players — and no, it doesn't involve cocaine, Red Bull, or bottle service at Opera. Instead, it's an activity dubbed "Nerd Poker," and it offers almost 100 of Hollywood's behind-the-scenes talents a weekly chance to socialize while playing video games on Xbox Live. Though many use it as a fun way to score meetings and network, it can also allow its members the sort of cathartic outlet they'd typically be arrested for: More » -
grand theft auto
Murder Confirms Every Bad Stereotype About Video Games
This is an absolute nightmare scenario for video game manufacturers, who must now be thanking their Pagan gods that it didn't happen in the US: a teenager in Bangkok murdered a taxi cab driver in an attempt to reenact a scene from Grand Theft Auto. As a result, the distributor has halted sales of the game throughout all of Thailand, which is a wise PR move despite being (objectively) an overreaction. The details of the crime seem to confirm the worst fears of all anti-video game crusaders: a good kid led astray, and willing to do anything to get his fix of violence: More » -
gaming
Beer Pong Video Game Predictably Nixed
JV Games was all set to release Beer Pong for the Nintendo Wii as part of its new Frat Party Games series (forthcoming titles include It's Not Gay, It's Tradition and Honor Council Testimony: Age of Consent Edition). Then the killjoy parents got involved, saying it's not right encouraging underage drinking, even in the virtual world. So now the thing's called Pong Toss, which, according to Time, will feature "pixelated cups of water." Use your Xbox to draft a pixelated transfer application. As it turns out, however, water as an alternative chug resource has also caused problems on university campuses: More » -
grand theft auto
A Free Helicopter Tour Of Liberty City
If you didn't have the 500 or so free hours necessary to explore the virtual architecture of the NYC doppelganger "Liberty City" in the latest version of Grand Theft Auto, here's the quickest way to do it: by helicopter. After the jump, a video of a virtual helicopter tour of the artfully rendered version of Manhattan—you can see the Chrysler's building spire from above. At the end, the chopper's passenger ends up in the river: More » -
spore
Best of Sporn: A Love Song [NSFW]
Why does Spore, the new evolution game from EA/Maxis, give us hope for the future of humanity? Because the first thing everybody did with the "creature creator" editor was create a bunch of, shall we say, genitally-oriented organisms. Call it Sporn. EA is unlikely to let you share these creatures with other Spore players, and every time somebody posts footage of a new one on YouTube it gets taken down. That's why we've put together this happy music video, featuring the vocal stylings of Peaches' "Tent in Your Pants," celebrating the very best of Sporn. There are some things in here that even I can't identify. Ah, evolution. [io9] -
progress
It's Come To This: A Gossip Girl Video Game
An intriguing little tidbit has just crossed our desk: news of a Gossip Girl video game! Now it's just a rumor at present but it sounds promising. I mean it makes perfect sense. New York-set teen soap Gossip Girl's viewer base, gay men and the girls who quietly pine for them, perfectly syncs up with the typical video game demographic. (Uhm... because boys who play video games are scared of gay men and girls?) What will one do while playing the GG video game? Well, other than lying on one's stomach in the den, kicking one's feet in the air, and absentmindedly twirling one's finger in the controller's cord, one will "explore the hippest social hot spots of New York City and attend the most fashionable parties." Oh my! That sounds just like the show. Read a full description of the ruuuuumored video game after the jump. More » -
video games
New Video Game About Designing Video Games Is Probably A Sign That No One Will Ever Again Play Outside
Ever play Railroad Tycoon or SimCity? There was fun in building a toy and playing god, but the games also tapped into an experience that seemed more real and physical than the computer they were played on. But in MMORPG Tycoon, you're building a massively multiplayer online role-playing game. It's recursive! It's (ugh) meta! And it's a small part of the trend toward video games going meta. More » -
things we actually like
Halo 3 Homicide Detective
College Humor spoofs one of those video games that make more money than any blockbuster movie and thus define a generation. The clip below is only funny if you've played online shooters, but according to sales stats that's 90% of you, so we're set. More » -
advertising
Simulated Ads Sadden Our Simulated Lives
Popular pretend-life game The Sims is now selling $20 add-on packs of virtual IKEA furniture to decorate their virtual houses. Advertising like this in video games seems, on its face, to be a win-win business proposition; companies get captive, slack-jawed audience for their virtual ads and products, and game developers get a new revenue stream where none existed before. The only problem: nobody really knows whether these types of ads work. Oh, and the other problem: The entire concept is incredibly sad. More » -
video games
How To Get Sex Into Video Games
There's no sex in video games. Well, not the real kind like there is in books and movies; just gratuitous cleavage and shallow cut scenes geared toward the current core market of young males. In the clip below Daniel Floyd explains how game makers, if they want their medium to earn respect as a real art form for adults, can bring sex in gaming to maturity. More » -
video games
Two Grand Theft Auto IV Skits That Are Funnier Than SNL's
To review a best-selling American game based on New York City, you obviously need a bunch of foreigners. First a British clip, "How To Have An Opinion About Grand Theft Auto IV," that mocks the standard media reactions to the game: polarization about the influence of violence, sweaty-palmed reviewers saying it's redefined gaming. Then the Australian reviewer Zero Punctuation, who's gotten very popular for his fast-paced cartoon reviews, says that GTA IV is afraid of its own value as a game. More » -
advertising
Disturbing Playstation Ad Will Put You Off Video Games Forever
Out of a Vienna ad agency comes this abomination of a Playstation 3 ad that, were there truly a God, would never have shone its dark light on world. Let me try to paint a verbal picture for you: it's a guy with a thumb for a penis. Plus-ten points to the ad agency for the excellent Photoshop work here; but minus-eight-billion points for ever letting this thing come into being. I never want to touch another Playstation as long as I live, much less another thumb. The full and uncut ad is below: beware. More » -
grand theft auto
Moralists Decry Video Game Without Playing It
The Parents Television Council—the shrill right-wing arbiter of entertainment morality last seen reprimanding companies for associating with rappers—is now busy condemning the brilliant, violent, and controversial new video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Unfortunately for the forces of purity, the Council decided to do its condemning primarily by making things up: More » -
grand theft auto
GTA In The New Hooker Era
When Rockstar Games in 2005 shipped an installment of its Grand Theft Auto videogame series with an embedded, but hidden, sex scene, an international controversy ensued, with Wal Mart, Target and other retailers pulling the game from shelves and the nation of Australia outright banning it. Since then there have been several hooker scandals, including those involving Congressmen David Vitter and Duke Cunningham and of course former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer. Two seasons of the stripper-suffused series Sopranos came and went on HBO. The Times decided we were fast becoming a nation of whores. And now the new GTA is out, and the sex scenes, mostly involving prostitutes and strippers, go graphically and erotically far beyond the 2005 game, and aren't even hidden. (Video after the jump.) More » -
parochial news
A Vision of a New York That Never Was
While adolescents and adolescent-at-heart adults across the nation anticipate Grand Theft Auto IV and its slightly skewed New York, we pause to remember the richly detailed and intriguingly off-kilter New York of the 1984 Activision classic Ghostbusters. A New York where Park Avenue runs alongside Church St, and they both go crosstown. A New York where Zuul may be found on the corner of Union and 3rd (3rd Ave? Street? Who knows!). More intriguing video game visions of New York, courtesy The Bowery Boys, below. More » -
In Brief
Karl Lagerfeld On The Ones And Twos
Finally, the website for the "Grand Theft Auto IV" game is up. You can reportedly tune in to a radio station there and hear none other than designer/ DJ Karl Lagerfeld talking about "keeping things moving with the music that liberated all of us, taught us we were all the same, showed us that computers were our friends." Can't argue with the man's logic! Bonus, the game's slogan: "Liberty City: Overpriced real estate in a cultural wasteland." Hey, that sounds familiar. [via Agenda Inc.] -
In Brief
Gaming And Academia
Hey, videogame-playing high school kids: pretty soon you'll be able to prepare for the SAT with a special game for your Nintendo DS! Then when you're done with that, take the dork train back to Dorkville, population: you and your dork friends at the University of Dork that you got into from playing your little dork game. [SAI] -
entertainment
New "Storyverse" Lets You Spend More Money On Same Hollywood Idea
Let's face a hard truth: most movies that started out as video games end up sucking pretty bad. Sure, some of them make plenty of money, but are you really able to suspend your critical faculties long enough to enjoy them without gagging a little bit on the forced synergy? Well now, a company called Radar Group is planning to develop "storyverses," which are ideas that can simultaneously spawn video games, movies, and other content. First up: a movie spinoff of the game "Max Payne," starring Mark Wahlberg as a rogue cop. Future ideas: an environmental disaster story, an alien invasion story, and "a horror story in which evil must be hunted down and imprisoned." Will they suck less than previous game/ movie efforts? Well, they're from the "Storyverse," so of course. Everything is different now! [Portfolio; image via Vayacine] -
video games
Nickelodeon getting into the mom- and kid-games market
"What video is to TV, games are to the Web," says Steve Youngwood, executive vice president for digital media at Viacom's Nickelodeon channel. We're not sure about that, but "casual gaming" is definitely big business — Nickelodeon is spending $100 million on new gaming initiatives including 600 original games for its websites, branded with its various entertainment shows. The appeal is obvious: For a 9-year old girl, why watch Dora the Explorer when you can be Dora the Explorer? More » -
video games
Blowing Up New York Still The Only Idea In Entertainment
Fabulous new idea for a video game: the destruction of New York City! You're just one man with a bunch of guns, and the Nazis are bombing Manhattan. They're blowing up the buildings! They're blowing up the Statue of Liberty! It'll be great. Who doesn't want to see NYC's violent demolition played out in digital graphics? I do! No, seriously, I might buy this one. But I will swear off the "violent demolition of NYC" movies. One medium at a time. After the jump, the full trailer for the new game, "Turning Point: Fall of Liberty," the latest in the disconcerting procession of entertainment based on Gotham's death. See if you can find your home exploding! More » -
defamer
We don't know about you, but it sure feels like we hear the Law & Order thump-thump scene-setting music at least forty times a day as it is. Seriously, the last thing we need is the ominous tone emanating from our cell phones. But the capitalistic video game creators at Limelife have made Law & Order: Celebrity Betrayal for us anyway. According to LimeLife head Kristen McDonell, the game "will cast users as part of the detective squad solving the 'crime' and will appeal to women's 'puzzle solving' propensity." Yes, because nothing nails that hard-to-reach women's demo more than the combination of the phrases "celebrities" and "betrayal." We can't wait for the small-screen version to debut on Lifetime; we hear Dick Wolf is in the market for his 18th vacation home. [Collider] -
washington post
It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses A Job
Rebecca Aronauer, a former writer on gossip blog Jossip, is guesting on Gawker for the next month. She'll be covering print media, though Rebecca would much rather muse on Brooklyn neighborhoods. And they say newspapers can't adapt to web culture. Why, the Washington Post even converted the smokers' room, which has been unused for years, into a game room. With foosball, air hockey and Wii, Washington Post writers are sure not to feel demoralized about sinking ad sales and the larger downturn in the publishing industry. And if the game room fails to inspire the staff, they can always turn it into a drinking room. Or just skip the ruse and turn the whole office into a bar. [Washington City Paper] -
nerd
Breaking Gawker Alum Report News
Doree's mom commented on her Tumblr! She reveals that Doree loved her Commodore 64, which was "discarded" by "wealthy neighbors." [The Doree Chronicles] -
spore
Will Wright To Launch 2005's Best Video Game This September
Three years after gaming god Will Wright and Electronic Arts announced it, Spore (previously called "SimEverything," a game where you use a one-celled organism to build the entire universe) finally has a release date of September 7, 2008. Wright, the creator of SimCity and The Sims, stepped down from his platinum throne on Mount Olympus to tell Newsweek why it took so long: He had a hard time dumbing down his magical world for human minds. (Below is a gameplay demo that shows how Spore imitates every game from Pac-Man to Civilization, but better.) The game is a big bet for EA and Wright, but given that everyone's liked it for the last two years, looks like it'll still be a winner in the fall. (Yes, Spore is the Obama of video games.) More » -
mangobot
I Was Programmed by Tetris to be a Better Person
At a young age, my brain was hijacked by the game of Tetris. Now it helps me navigate through life. When I was in the sixth grade, my friend Chiyo and I used to play this addictive puzzle game—developed in 1985 by a Russian engineer—for hours on end with a single 100 yen coin at an arcade in Tokyo. We probably should have been doing homework or at least pretending to, but instead, there we were, every day after school, sitting side by side executing crazy maneuvers with our joysticks. The mantras that I repeated in my head while playing the game at max speed as a pre-teen are totally in sync with some basic tenets of Asian philosophy. [io9] -
crossovers
Steven Spielberg Makes Most Epic Puzzle Game Ever
Electronic Arts officially announced Steven Spielberg's first video game yesterday. Strangely, it's a puzzle game, which sounds uncharacteristically un-epic for the director; shouldn't he be making the new Halo? But Boom Blox, a Nintendo Wii game that Spielberg conceived two years ago, actually seems worth more than an hour of play, at least for those of us old enough to be amused by the sheer number of things flying around and exploding. After the jump, the game trailer and requisite punchline. More » -
the net
Government Declares Bloggers Potential Terrorists!
"WASHINGTON (AP) — It's the government's idea of a really bad day: Washington's Metro trains shut down. Seaport computers in New York go dark. Bloggers reveal locations of railcars with hazardous materials." That's right: bloggers are the new terrorists.
More » -
serious business
Flash Game Shocks Nation
There's a hot new "video game" on the internet that all the kids are talking about in which you play as a presidential candidate and shoot the other presidential candidates! With paint-ball guns. It seems to have upset Drudge? Will Kucinich sue to be included in the assassination game? [TSG, Wonkette] -
ea games
Computer Games Are For Everyone, Winning Is For Rich People
In the future, poor people will never win at video games. A new edition of EA's popular Battlefield game series will be free online, unless you want to buy weapons and other upgrades. Just as in World of Warcraft (where busy players sometimes hire people to level up their characters), people who can pay more will have a better chance of winning, except this time the cheating is officially sanctioned. (Naturally, South Korea has been doing this for four years.) Sorry poors, but gaming is now like the real world, where winning means having the most money. More »





































