Aha! ABC has finally debuted on web TV outlet Hulu, loading on some episodes of ratty old Grey's Anatomy. Eventually we'll get other delightful ABC fare like Ugly Betty, the newly-acquired Scrubs, and Desperate Housewives. [Variety]

Now that he's in a huge summer movie and is a bigtime movie star, The Hangover star Zach Galifianakis just isn't sure what to do with himself. Should he do Todd Phillips' funnily-named Man-Witch, or Todd Phillips' blandly-named Due Date? Or what about Say Uncle (in which, we're guessing, he stars as something of a modern-day, more Dadaist Uncle Buck)? Look, as long as "Between Two Ferns" comes back here and there, we'll be happy. [THR]

Hmm... Rita Wilson, the wife of struggling actor Tom Hanks, will executive produce a developing HBO series based on Jeffrey Eugenides' beautiful novel Middlesex. So it'll be, what, a hermaphrodite coming-of-age story set in 60s and 70s era Detroit? We would probably watch that. Playwright Donald Margulies is involved as well. Hmmmmm. [Variety]

Everyone put in your earplugs, the screeching is about to begin. Current trash-talking comedy lady Kathy Griffin will soon be roasting old-timey trash-talking comedy lady Joan Rivers for that dreadful and needlessly profane Comedy Central Roast series. So much yelling and boob jokery. [THR]

Oh, good. Some guy named Jeremy Garelick (some sort of dairy heir, perhaps?), who did an uncredited rewrite on The Hangover, is writing a "funny" movie script based on that already funny without even trying series Baywatch. Because, you know, our minds have become lazy and fattened and it's too much work to infer the joke from the original, completely ridiculous Baywatch. No, we need it fed to us in comestible comedy format. With lots of boob jokery. Though, oh what the hell, it could be funny anyway. [Variety]

The set for Jay Leno's new 10pm daily talker will be made large enough to accommodate a car, as Jay might drive one of his precious automobiles on stage at the top of the show. But will it be made large enough to accommodate his chin?? (See! It's not that hard to write Jay Leno-style jokes!) [THR]

Virginia Madsen has joined the cast of that indie Kevin Spacey comedy The Father of Invention. She'll play his bitchy ex-wife. Slow and steady, Ginny. Slow and steady. [Variety]

The busy David O. Russell has signed on to direct the annoyingly-titled Aaron and Sarah, a sort of When Harry Met Sally... for the high school set. Kids meet as friends and, over four years, fall in love. Cue retro twee pop score, end with dancing. [Variety] The always-busy Ralph Fiennes might play Hades, god of the underworld, in the upcoming Clash of the Titans. Liam Neeson is scheduled to play Zeus. Why they would want to remake an amazing classic is beyond me, but I suppose that's acceptable casting. [Variety]

Botox spokeswoman Virginia Madsen will be producing a documentary called Defying Gravity, about lonely gay kids on Long Island who are really into Wicked. Actually, it's about women ski-jumpers fighting to be able to participate in the 2010 Olympics. So far, women have been banned from competing in the sport, making it the only Olympic event that is exclusive for men. [Variety] Meanwhile her costar in The Haunting Two Towns Over from Hartford, You Know, Where the Kohl's Is, Kyle Gallner, will play the lead in A Nightmare On Elm Street. Elm Street is famously where the International Ski Jumping Association headquarters are located, and the movie tells the story of men frightened of lady ski jumpers. [Variety]

Well fuck me. HBO has renewed Danny McBride, Jody Hill, and Ben Best's Eastbound and Down for a second season. Production is scheduled to start in the fall so I guess we'd get the new episodes sometime about a year from now. It's unclear whether the show, and lead character Kenny Powers, will return to the North Carolina setting of the first season, or if it'll head out on the road. No matter what, this is good news. [Variety] In the land of shitty TV, The Bachelorette will return as a mainstay of ABC's summer programming next month. But that's not all the good news! Each episode of the show will now be two hours long. [Variety]

Out-to-lunch Brittany Murphy has joined the cast of out-to-lunch-sounding action movie The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone's paean to action stars of yesteryear. Mostly like, himself. And Arnie Schwarzenegger. And, heh, Dolph Lundgren. Presumably she'll play a tough, smart, independent woman who has a great career, a nice condo by the marina, and doesn't need a man to rescue her. [THR] Actor who is everywhere Xander Berkeley has been cast in two different new series. He'll play a regular on ABC's Day One, which, judging by the title, is about vitamins, and he'll be a recurring character on Shonda Rhimes' (Grey's Anatomy) new series Inside the Box, which is also a medical drama, this one set in the world of gynecology. [THR]

Monsters vs. Aliens — $58.2 million
Basically Pixar or DreamWorks or whoever could basically computer-animate a dog blinking for ninety minutes and kids and their "will there be inside adult jokes for us??" parents will line up, slobbering. (Though, they couldn't just computer-animate an outerspace magic Freddie Prinze lizard blinking for ninety minutes and expect lots of money. That, apparently, doesn't work.) This huge debut beat Watchmen to become the biggest of the year. Another sad indignity waged upon the superhero movie by, no doubt, its giant squid enemy.

The Haunting in Connecticut — $23 million
Another big bow. The ghosties and ghouls feature, starring Virginia Madsen (the scariest/saddest thing of all), racked up a nice $8,422 per-screen average and would have handily won the weekend had there not been some damn animated thing raging through the cineplexes too. Cheapo horror still reliably turns a buck these days. Lionsgate or Dimension or Dark Castle or whoever ought to film a cat blinking for ninety minutes while some gurgling black J-Horror ghost lurches toward them. It'd be boffo!

I Love You, Man — $12.6 million
Hardly dropping at all (29%) in its second weekend, the Paul Rudd comedy ought to ride strong word-of-mouth to sleeper success. Which is good for all of us because Rudd and costar Jason Segel are very funny men and references to dogs named Anwar Sadat really should be encouraged. That Judd Apatow technically had nothing to do with this picture is heartening—it proves funneez can be made without the bearded svengali's involvement.

Duplicity — $7.6 million
Two weeks out, and only $25 million grossed. What exactly went wrong with this caper flick? Had Julia Roberts been out of the game too long? How much does America really want Clive Owen? Was that alienatingly smug trailer—"Admit it... you don't trust me either." Ugh—just too much? Whatever the reason, the movie's a stumble for all involved, including writer/director Tony Gilroy, who had a chance to prove some commercial appeal after his critically-acclaimed but too-somber-for-popcorn Michael Clayton. Ah well. Better luck next time, zillionaires.

Watchmen — $2.8 million
Four weeks out, and just over $100 million hauled in. The flick is playing decently overseas, but the whole muddle is still an unqualified disappointment. How much does America really want Malin Ackerman? Is it because of that moment in the trailer when the giant blue penis asks the owl sexmobile if it doesn't, in fact, trust it either? The world may never know. All it tells me, really, is that this might be a bad time for my dark, painstakingly-faithful adaption of Archie: Pals 'n' Gals #118, in which the gang is super into ventriloquism and Reggie and Archie compete to see who can throw their voice the best. Ackerman is already on board to play Betty, and Owen was set to be Reggie. Offer's still out to Obama for Chuck. So, we'll see.

InOtherNews...'s new line beat out the original, Failed, Then Lauded, Then Failed Again Actress Loves/Needs Free Stuff.

"I know Ken. And Ken is a gay man."

We understand her agent was served with an 8-page letter from Ken's counsel, Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields, just hours after the segment aired, insisting the diminutive star once dressed up in an outrageous Halloween costume, and does not "go around in a mauve mesh shirt, matching vinyl biker vest, with a cock ring hanging around his neck, as your statements on CNN suggest."

• Madeover Ken hopes to win back Barbie [CNN.com]

SIDEWAYS star VIRGINIA MADSEN was so desperate to kiss HARRISON FORD in new movie FIREWALL she locked lips with the aging movie star on the first day of filming.

The actress was handpicked by Ford to play his wife in the thriller and wasted no time in letting him know how grateful she was - and just how much she liked the INDIANA JONES star.

She recalls, "I kind of snuck the kiss in there; he didn't know that I was gonna do it. It was my first day on the set. I thought I'd just go for it."

Director RICHARD LONCRAINE liked the impromptu kissing scene and decided to keep it in the movie, but neither he, nor Ford, would accommodate Madsen's wishes for more passion in the film.

She adds, "I demanded deeper kissing but they wouldn't go for that. I just thought we don't have an opportunity to embrace in this movie and I wanted to see a marriage. I didn't want to just be the screen wife in the background."

While we commend Madsen on so gamely diving into character that she could work past the scotch fumes in order to fully sate her Indiana jones, we must admit that part of us worries she might quickly wear out her welcome if she continues to brazenly launch herself at her co-stars in such a manner. The last thing an above-the-title Hollywood legend needs to see when stepping out of his double banger is his leading lady at the foot of the stairs, seductively spraying a tube of Binaca into her mouth, and demanding to know what her "motivation is not to slip you the tongue when I hear the word 'action.'"

• MADSEN SURPRISED FORD WITH SCREEN KISS [Contact Music]