Britney Spears and Russell Brand Go On First Date Sans 'Third Wheel' Elephant

After a long history of exclusively dating poseurs and paparazzi, comeback-adjacent singer Britney Spears may be taking on her biggest romantic challenge yet: Russell Brand. Though their first meeting at a VMAs commercial went poorly, with Spears recoiling from the comedian and calling him "Russell Brown," the Daily Mail reports that the two hooked up this week (noting, in their helpfully British way, that Brand is "an ex-drug and sex addict"): More »

VMA Killjoy Jordin Sparks Brings Less-Than-Helpful Chastity Tips to Talk-Show Circuit

Bravely taking her pro-abstinence, purity-ring-rocking message to the Fox News flock, Jordin Sparks spent a few minutes last night explaining her recent outburst against oversexed Video Music Awards host Russell Brand. The difference between a "non-virgin" and "slut" remains foggy, but, at the very least, Sparks's convictions are burnished here to the fine Murdochian glow that so eluded the MTV class last weekend. The same cannot be said for her remarks on the subject of temptation ("I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means!"), from which conservative firebrand and noted hymen-defense expert Sean Hannity was later forced to rescue her with that metaphorical bucket of ice water known around the Fox offices as "a commercial break." [Fox News]

Did MTV Censor Russell Brand's Shocking Bristol Palin Joke?

Mostly lost in the furor over the purity ring comments made by VMAs host Russell Brand were the even more scathing jabs he threw the Republicans' way during the telecast. Never afraid to be politically controversial (a formerly crack-addled Brand was fired from British MTV for showing up to work on September 12, 2001 dressed as Osama Bin Laden), the comedian called President Bush a "retarded cowboy" who "wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors," then dismissed the teen pregnancy of Sarah Palin's daughter as a "PR stunt." Now, Brand is telling the UK's Daily Telegraph that he had one even more outrageous Palin joke in that vein, but MTV wouldn't let him tell it: More »

Upon Reflection, Maybe Jordin Sparks Didn't Mean to Call You All 'Sluts'

The VMAs tend to be known for their feuds, whether it's Madonna vs. Courtney Love, Kid Rock vs. Tommy Lee, or Michael Jackson vs. his overwhelming fear of Lisa Marie Presley's pursed lips. This year's ceremony was no different, though the anger came from an unexpected source: American Idol winner Jordin Sparks, who overstepped a line while defending the Jonas Brothers' purity, declaring, "It's not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody — guy or girl — wants to be a slut." This implication of an either/or sexual ultimatum prompted an outcry from the historically ribald music world, with elder stateswoman Courtney Love prescribing an unorthodox remedy of "pussy and some cock" and the Jonas Brothers themselves laying hands on salacious host Russell Brand to forgive him. Now, in an interview with EW, Sparks clarifies her controversial words: More »

Purity Ratings: Though this year's chaste edition of the MTV Video Music Awards couldn't boast a must-see trainwreck on the level of Britney Spears's 2007 performance, it still outrated that telecast by 15% in MTV's 12-34 target demo (it beat the 2006 edition by a whopping 41%, and averaged 8.4 million total viewers overall). In fact, according to Broadcasting & Cable, the VMAs telecast was the highest-rated cable show in that demo so far this year. Just think how many more viewers could have been retained without the weirdly shot, one-joke Jonah Hill intro! [Broadcasting & Cable]

And Lo, The Jonas Brothers Did Absolve Russell Brand Of His Sins

Heading into Sunday night's VMAs, one could never have predicted that the Jonas Brothers would end up central to the ceremony's only real controversy; and yet, thanks to Russell Brand's purity-tweaking jokes and Jordin Sparks's impassioned tirade against sluts, there they found themselves. Would the squeaky-clean trio retaliate by wagging their ringed fingers in Brand's face, or would they take Courtney Love's colorful advice to sample "some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up"? According to the BBC, they chose a different route, claiming to be fans of Brand (thanks to his last Conan O'Brien appearance) and giving him some pointers on pleasing the fickle American audience: More »

Courtney Love Has the Last, Incoherent Word on the VMAs Purity Ring Controversy

Though it's been a long while since Courtney Love caused controversy at the VMAs, the singer wasn't about to let last night's purity ring flap pass by without giving that virginal young upstart Jordin Sparks the what-for. Yes, even though Love claims not to have watched last night's ceremony (though she adores host Russell Brand), she took to her blog to denounce the latest crop of chaste young performers, giving them the sort of X-rated advice that would make a Jonas Brother blush (not that Miley, though — she's heard it all). We've excerpted the best bits below, though we warn you that they're hard to read — not because of their shock value, but because their author is the garrulous misspeller Courtney Love: More »

Hey Christina Aguilera, How You Gonna Play Us Like That?

It's pretty much been an all-VMA recap kind of day here at Defamer HQ. Not only have we caught you up on our red carpet conversations with Brooke Hogan, Robert Pattinson and Brett Ratner, but we've also given you nearly 24 hours to digest all the goings-on from last night's event. All of which leads us into tonight's installment of Defamer To Do's, where Molls deconstructs some of the evening's high points (namely, T.I.'s LACMA worthy performance) and head-scratchers (why why WHY did X-Tina choose to lip sync?). Enjoy! More »

Miley Cyrus Kissed A Girl (While Under Parental Supervision)

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To Make the 'Guitar Hero' Movie, Brett Ratner Needs You To Stop Buying the Game

While conducting interviews at the VMAs yesterday, the nearby booth advertising Rock Band 2 was the cacophonous bane of our existence — though no one was more unhappy to see it than director Brett Ratner. As you may recall, the Defamer-beloved auteur (and big penis enthusiast) aspires to direct a film adaptation based on Rock Band's rival video game franchise, Guitar Hero. Since the idea continues to boggle our minds, we knew we had to venture a question, even if the resulting Defamer-on-Ratner interaction threatened to spin the world off its axis. Fortunately, the Rush Hour 3 helmer was every bit the gentleman. We blame the heatstroke. [MTV] More »

John Legend Wants None Of What God Warrior Jordin Sparks Is Selling

While we enjoyed sharing with you the alternately entertaining, excruciating, and utterly discombobulating experience of attending the 2008 VMAs in person, there were moments completely lost on us from our extremely un-VIP vantage point. Take, for example, this off-prompter ad-lib from Jordin Sparks, in which the uncomfortable tension building steadily in Soundstage 16—Brandian anti-Republicanism and hypersexuality reacting against Jonas Brothers's calculated chastity—burst like on overfilled water balloon. What we hadn't noticed at the time was her co-presenter John Legend's overt attempts at distancing himself from Sparks's pro-abstinence sentiments, displaying his naked fingers to indicate the absence of any such sex-warding amulets from Zales. He's good to go, groupies! More »

MTV VMAs: 70 Seconds Worth Watching

God, the VMAs were beyond boring this year. Even the people in the live audience didn't want to be there. You know it's bad when Jamie Foxx has to come out on stage and literally tell people to wake up. I think the show's producers were hoping they'd be credited for introducing Russell Brand to America, hoping he'd be the new Borat. Except, he sucked, so he's actually the new Yahoo Serious. Nice knowin' ya, Russell! And you know, not that I really care about how the award winners are determined, or that I even give any credence to the legitimacy of these things, but how fucking bullshit was it that Britney walked away with all three awards that she was nominated for, just so that MTV could get her to show up? Anyway, above you'll find the awards boiled down to the only 70 seconds worth seeing. [Jezebel]

Brooke Hogan on Sarah Palin: 'Who's That?'

Though it's only been a scant ten days since John McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate, it's hard to find anyone on earth immune to the media onslaught that followed. Oh, for the halcyon days of mid-August, when our nation was more consumed with the abdominals of Michael Phelps than the baby-making, celebrity-stifling, Liz Lemon-resembling Palin name! To meet the rare creature who still knows nothing about the controversial candidate would be like staring into the windows of our pre-RNC innocence, and reader, we found such a transcendent experience on the carpet of the VMAs last night: More »

Britney Overjoyed at Finally Being Awarded Custody of Something

[Weathered pop singer Britney Spears celebrating her three 'Moon Men' win at last night's MTV Video Music Awards; image via Splash] More »

Sarah Palin Superstar

· Let Lindsay Lohan, Albert Brooks, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Life Magazine introduce you to the GOP's great vice-presidential hope. More »

Toot! Toot! All Aboard The Britney Comeback Train!

· Oh. Ma. Ga. Ladies and gentlemen: Britney Spears, lean, mean, and executing complicated choreography. Is she actually going to perform at the VMAs? You'll just have to tune in to our liveblog—from the actual theater, all live-like!—to find out. [MSN Video] More »

Russell Brand, Britney Spears, And The Tale Of One 'Terrifying Vagina'

Though ladykiller VMAs host Russell Brand is certainly no stranger to female anatomy, his elephant-starring VMAs commercial with Britney Spears was nearly waylaid when he became obsessed with, as he puts it, one "terrifying vagina." In a chat with the Ebert-usurping Ben Lyons, Brand details how the elephant's mammoth sexual orifice nearly blew his mind, causing him to be late to an initial meeting with Spears (and subsequently leading the confused pop singer to ID him on-air as "Russell Brown"). With colorful anecdotes like these, the Defamer liveblog of this Sunday's VMAs should be a breeze; most of all, we can't wait until an onstage Brand takes the Jonas Brothers aside to demonstrate the colorful things an ambitious trio is really capable of. [MTV]

VMA FYI: In news that will surely please his favorite white girl Scarlett Johansson, Kanye West has been picked to close out this year's VMAs (which will be opened — in some fashion — by Britney Spears). Since it's the ceremony's 25th anniversary, the network says we can expect winks to MTV's past including Christina Aguilera returning to reprise "Genie in a Bottle," and Katy Perry essaying Madonna's "Like a Virgin." And just like at this year's MTV Movie Awards, we'll be live on the red carpet Sunday evening causing havoc and liveblogging our hearts out. But unlike the '07 VMAs, this year's event looks like it might actually be able to hold our interest, thanks to the addition of the unpredictable Russell Brand as host. Let's just hope they don't let Eva Longoria Parker near him — MTV couldn't afford the FCC fine if those two got into water sports again. [MTV]

Comeback Comeback: Britney Spears's ongoing flirtation with this year's VMAs has progressed past the stage of hanging out near an elephant while Russell Brand played Itsy Bitsy Spider up her inner thigh. She's going to open the show—though great care is being taken not to have a repeat of last year's performance, a still of which now appears next to the word "train·wreck" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Instead, MTV Networks Music Group President Van Toffler said it will be something "fun and unexpected." Britney said in a statement, "MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I'm excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated." [AP/Yahoo]

Which Female Celebrity Will MTV Enlist for a Sapphic Smooch at the VMAs?

Though MTV isn't always respectful of its own history, it can usually be counted on to remember one thing: a VMAs ceremony is nothing without a memorable kiss. Whether it's Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley or Madonna and Britney Spears, celebrity-on-celebrity Frenching is an absolute must if the network hopes to draw buzz through umpteen rebroadcasts the following week. Luckily, one of this year's biggest songs — "I Kissed a Girl" — gives MTV just the opportunity it needs. Says E!'s Marc Malkin: More »

EXCLUSIVE: MTV VMAs Host Russell Brand Takes the Defamer Pop Culture Test

If the recent VMAs promo made you wonder "Who's the Brit next to Brit-Brit?", then meet Russell Brand. We asked the British funnyman (and Forgetting Sarah Marshall star) to sit down with us in an effort to prove his pop culture bona fides before hosting the VMAs on September 7. Already a famous ladykiller in the U.K., can Brand prove equally charming as the emcee of MTV's biggest event? We solicited his thoughts on Miley Cyrus, Christian Bale, and hermaphrodite presidents in a bid to find out. More »

So Russell Brand, An Elephant, And Britney Spears Walk Into A Warehouse...

Feast your eyes now upon those buzzy promo spots for the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards—featuring host Russell "Big in England" Brand, 2007 VMAs catastrophe Britney Spears, and a giant elephant in the room (not white, but you get it). 10 first impressions: More »

Scene of the Crime: Though Britney Spears probably won't be reprising her woozy, indifferent performance of "Gimme More" at this year's edition of the VMAs, MTV was able to convince the newly (and unprofitably) sane starlet to record a promo poking fun at the 2007 trainwreck. Improvising her way through the ad with VMAs host Russell Brand, the two bantered on without ever mentioning the elephant in the room — in this case, an actual, 9000-pound elephant grazing behind the stars. The scene soon turned ugly when Brit-Brit wrapped the shoot by offering the tempestuous animal some Cheetos and chicken fingers; five PAs and a Real World alum working the catering table were trampled in the ensuing rampage. [Access Hollywood]

Exclusive: MTV Video Music Awards Are Leaving Las Vegas, Bound For L.A.

Sources are telling us this afternoon that the executives at MTV have decided against returning to Las Vegas, the scene of the 2007 Video Music Awards, for the 2008 incarnation of the show. Instead, this year's VMAs will be broadcast live on September 7 from the Paramount Pictures Studio in Los Angeles. While one source told Defamer that it was a case of "been there, done that", a separate source told us that the "very chaotic" proceedings last year had something to do with the decision not to return to The Palms Hotel in Vegas (where, you'll recall, a clearly out-of-shape Britney Spears nearly killed her career with a zombified rendition of "Gimme More"). More »

If you're actively rooting for the death of culture, we've got some good news: Perez Hilton's post-VMA special "What Perez Says" did major numbers among the 18-49 set, improving VH1's performance with that demographic by 112% this quarter. Excuse us while we go gain a shitload of weight and start doodling on celebrity pictures: We want in, bitches!

The Britney Spears VMA Trainwreck Explained

Hoping to solve the mystery of how Britney Spears, a seasoned performer with many memorable faux-lesbian and python-related VMAs performances to her credit, came to prance across that Las Vegas stage as listlessly a past-her-prime, breakfast-shift stripper who'd just been shot in a fishnetted haunch with an elephant-grade tranquilizer dart, Page Six today consults a spy who claims to have the behind-the-scenes information about the much-discussed debacle. Spears' rehearsal session, it seems, was hampered by lateness, the tragic overriding of a wardrobe professional's costume choice, and, unsurprisingly, the refusal to perform any choreography that might result in the spillage of her precious pre-show cocktail: More »

Hollywood Blvd. Reacts To Britney's Bad Night

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Sarah Silverman's The Bomb

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Britney Spears Gives The People What They Want: A Nationally Televised VMA Trainwreck

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From the mailbag: "I work in the same building as Milk Studios and there is an event going on there right now for the VMAs, hosted by MTV. They won't tell me what's going on, but inside there are couches and some sort of presentation going on with champagne, etc. Do you know what is happening?" We have no idea! Couches! Some sort of super-secret award-fixing ceremony, perhaps?

Justin "Dick in a Box" Timberlake and Beyoncé "Fistful of J-Hud's Hair" Knowles receive the greatest number of nominations for the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards, the nework's tribute to a once-vibrant art form long ago annhilated by 24-hour Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Yo Momma! marathons. [Yahoo News]

Reporter Reveals Diddy's Secret White Slave Ring

Much like every other publication in town, the Observer sent a reporter to last week's Video Music Awards, only to discover that the blingy fracas was less than — oh, what's the word? — halfway interesting. In fact, a major highlight comes not from a celebrity, but from a reporter: More »