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Spy from the Land of Rainpeople
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
An uncle of mine suggested this as a solution for the overpopulation of Earth: sell vodka for $1 per bottle and motorcycles for $50 each. (I'm roughly adjusting for inflation)
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Smitros
06/26/09

@Spy from the Land of Rainpeople:

I once heard that the introduction of gin effectively stopped population growth in London for about a century.
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CaptainFantastic
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
I choose to believe that vodka intake in Russia has prevented death from cancer, heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and accidents. You've got to die of something.
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Colonel Mustard
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
I read a really interesting piece in the LAT a couple years back about how the economic devastation in central Russia and Siberia has left a lot of people with increasing levels of depression and few options for things to do besides harvest potatoes, make vodka from said potatoes, and drink said vodka.

Those regions aren't terribly populated, obviously, but I would still be interested to see these statistics by area. Where is the greatest concentration of alcohol-related deaths?
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spotted-dog
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
if you had to wipe your ass with butcher paper, tree bark, or twigs you'd drink yourself silly, too.
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El Matardillo
06/26/09

@spotted-dog: In the late 80's I visited the old Soviet Union and actually wrote a letter home on the toilet paper.

You could have published Life magazine on it. Ew.
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skahammer
06/26/09

@El Matardillo: I presume you then published this episstle.
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El Matardillo
06/26/09

@skahammer: Grace and peace to you.

I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise. So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
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skahammer
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
So Yeltsin was practically a teetotaler.
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limber
06/26/09

@skahammer: There's a joke in here somewhere about national leaders and demographic trends and Berlusconi, but I'm too drunk to make it.
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SW-2
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
I shudder to think what the fetal alcohol syndrome rate is in Russia. Come to think of it, I'm sure it's a lot higher than reported here.
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limber
06/26/09

@SW-2: Pair together the insane fetal alcohol rate with the mind-boggling Russian orphanages, and it's a recipe for total disaster.

Kids adopted from Russia often have had a hard, hard time of it. (Kids NOT adopted from Russian orphanages obviously have an even harder time, as they promptly turn into street kids) And now think of the kids who are still at home, but with parents who drink themselves into oblivion every night...
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Private Hangnail
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
The vodka was everything eventually, the sun and the moon, the track suit and the dubious employment in import/export.
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minou
06/26/09

@Private Hangnail: Please keep going.
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metoometoo
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
I have an aunt who has been living in Moscow for several years. Last time I saw her, she practically recoiled at my mother's suggestion that we open a bottle of wine. She then pulled a bottle of vodka from the freezer - and not just any vodka, but special vodka, which she had brought with her because it is not available in the U.S. - and proceeded to begin drinking it straight out of a rocks glass, with nary a cringe or flinch. She scoffed at our inability to do the same. She definitely did not drink like this before moving to Russia.
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The_Age_of_Plastic
06/26/09

@metoometoo: Try Stoli Black - it is sold in most Duty Free stores in Latin America and Western Europe (oddly ranging from $15 - $35 US). It is the only Stoli actually made in Russia (the rest come from Canada) and as many Russians can tell you, there is a noticable difference.
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valet_of_the_dolls
06/26/09

@The_Age_of_Plastic: Canada, Latvia, what's the diff, really?
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The_Age_of_Plastic
06/26/09

@valet_of_the_dolls: Also some Russians are notorious for not getting the message that some of these countries are "former" republics (see: Georgia)
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valet_of_the_dolls
06/26/09

@The_Age_of_Plastic: Heh.
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DorothyMantooth
06/26/09

@metoometoo: Russian Standard. Trust.
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Ohcaptainmycaptain
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
Yeah, but in the US, we eat ourselves to death, usually with terrible junk/fast food.

Big Mac or vodka?

Or...Big Mac + vodka? Who needs to live past 40?
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homoviper
06/26/09

@Ohcaptainmycaptain: Or we shoot each other..
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Say that is cool
06/26/09

@Ohcaptainmycaptain: Why not both?

Sounds like a solid breakfast to me.
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nirreskeya
06/26/09

@OhCandida!: Yeah, this is basically what I do. Wild Turkey and bacon.
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Private Hangnail
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
Later, after the cloud of alcohol had left my life, I thought of the awful days before; days in which I could hardly muster the energy to apply frosted lipstick or walk tall in my brightly colored plastic shoes.
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Private Hangnail
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
I drank so much that my love of yellow gold and concurrent hatred of Gypsies ebbed to almost nothing. It was a dark and terrible time, like winter, except with blackouts and liver bleeding.
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Say that is cool
06/26/09

@Private Hangnail:

Fucking Gypsies.

BUY SOME GOD DAMNED SHOES FOR YA KIDS!
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depardoo
06/26/09

@OhCandida!:

Don't forget Carnies.
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Mymoustache
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
In soviet russia, dead horse beats you! Seriously, hasn't this been the case for the past 800 years? I recall reading that the red army drank its way through into germany in WWII.
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Mama Penguino
06/26/09

@Mymoustache: When I was younger, I went through a Russian Lit phase and read through Cancer Ward, A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, the first volume of The Gulag Archipelago, Dead Souls and The Collected Poems of Anna Akhmatova and do not wonder why Russians drink.
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depardoo
06/26/09

@Mama Penguino:

Dead Souls is an incredible read.
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Wendy_Kroy
06/26/09

@Mymoustache: Stories about Peter the Great's early days are more Caligula-esque. He and his posse formed what they called the "Drunken Synod," in which Peter was the "drunk pope" - their adventures usually involved midgets, hookers, and vodka by the freakin' barrel (or maybe it was the midget who was elected "drunk pope" - anyway, you get the point). Peter was about 6'7" and built like a linebacker, and even by Russian standards his alcohol consumption was considered prodigious.
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depardoo
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
My Ukranian friend tells me drinking stories from the old country, usually involving very cold weather and automobiles, that boggle the mind. He can drink three-quarters of a large bottle of vodka without batting an eye. I guess his stories are true.
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limber
06/26/09

@depardoo: I've seen a table of old Russian ladies down three bottles of vodka like it's water. Literally, they treated the bottles like they were Evian or something. They must have livers like marble.
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DorothyMantooth
06/26/09

@limber: My (American) honey always marvels at the grandmas who down shot after shot before noon at My Peoples' post-wedding brunches. It's been almost 10 years that he's been attending My People parties with me, but before every single one my dad still insists on warning, "Don't try to drink like everyone else!"
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limber
06/26/09

@DorothyMantooth: HA! I got that warning, too! And after the first time, I took it deadly seriously. Your People are not playing around.
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contradicto
06/26/09

In reply to Russians Even Drunker Than Suspected
But hot chocolate with Baily's is BETTER.
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ChillbearLatrigue
06/26/09

@contradicto: Slippery slope. Now we're right back to mass deaths.
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limber
06/26/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: Bailey's is probably still expensive enough to be impractical in the drink-yourself-to-death stakes in Russia. But I've heard crazy things from friends who travel there a lot -- like, drinking nail varnish remover and cleaning products level of alcohol addiction.

And that's not even getting into the booming Russian moonshine hobby.
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