There are two kinds of phone users in the world: people who leave voicemails for other people and people who ignore voicemails from other people.

You think you have mommy issues? Meet Alexander, a 23-year-old teacher who just barely eked his way into a Thursday speed dating event at 230 Fifth featuring wealthy 35+ women all of whom had to show proof of at least $4 million in liquid assets or divorce settlements. Classy enough for you? Okay! As Dealbreaker…