Look, people, we appear to have figured out what it takes to get House Republicans to agree on something: Having every other person on the planet scream at them for several days! The official announcement will come at 5:00, but everyone's now reporting that House Republicans will agree to the Senate's bipartisan…

Remember President Obama's American Jobs Act that he announced in a speech 'round 'bout a month ago? Well, it hasn't even been shitcanned in the Senate like all other pieces of legislation yet! That's happening in oh another hour or two.

The House has rejected, on procedural grounds, a resolution calling for Rick Perry to apologize for not immediately "doing away" with that rock that bore his ranch's name, "Niggerhead," for so long. Society will never change without this resolution!

The Senate has passed the debt ceiling deal, 74-26, sending it to President Obama's desk. Crisis averted! Now, thanks to the deal's structure, we can look forward to a prolonged 18-month budget battle and massive lobbying campaign.

When Rep. John Boehner assumed the speakership, he said he didn't want to be an arm-twister for votes, and that he wanted the people's voice to be heard clearly. A nice sentiment! But now he that needs votes for his debt ceiling plan today, that's all over. How will he screw over dissidents? Let's look at the case of…

Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is cautiously optimistic that enough GOP members had fallen in line over the last 48 hours to pass his debt bill. The plan would cut nearly $917 billion in spending over the next ten years, raise the debt-ceiling by $900 billion and avoid sending the nation into default.

The Senate has rejected House Republicans' favorite deficit-reduction plan, "Cut, Cap and Balance," on a 51-46 vote. Now, at least, the worst of the many bad pieces of legislation currently under consideration is gone.

You may not be surprised to hear that in one of the least productive Congresses in history, things move at a fast enough pace to confuse many members of Congress into voting the wrong way, more frequently than ever. Welcome to the latest phase of American Exceptionalism, in which no one really knows what's happening…

Some of us suckers have woken up each morning this week hoping to see the headline, "New York Senate Finally Does Something About This Friggin Gay Marriage Bill," only to see the same story about how state Republicans are still thinkin' about it. And guess what? Today is no different, except that senators are getting…

The House of Representatives will actually hold two votes today on war funding. This is quite something: One vote to defund military action in Libya, another to authorize it for a year. Finally, many months after the Obama administration went into another MENA country with little-to-no strategy, we're having something…

The $16 billion battle between retailers and banks over new caps on debit card swipe fees appears to have been won by... retailers! The Senate was unable to pass an amendment today that would've "delayed" (killed) the caps' implementation.

House Speaker John Boehner quickly put together some vague vote on American involvement in the Libya war today, which the Obama administration technically has been waging illegally for over two weeks, and which Congress has refused either to authorize or end.

House Republicans will give President Obama the vote he requested on a "clean" debt ceiling hike today, meaning one without any spending cuts attached. Every Republican and at least half of Democrats are expected to vote against it, thereby giving Republicans the opportunity to say to the president, See? We told you…

Confusing math problems weren't enough to stop the House from passing the Obama-Boehner budget compromise on a bipartisan vote of 260-167 this afternoon. Passage in the Senate will be easy, and President Obama will sign it.

The House Republicans' vote to strip NPR of federal funding yesterday was great news for funnyman Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner! It gave him the opportunity to rant sarcastically, again, with a monologue he probably spent all night working on. Since House votes are automatic party-line approvals for whatever…

Gov. Scott Walker's "budget repair bill," which strips Wisconsin's unionized public employees of most collective bargaining rights, passed the state Assembly this afternoon after moving through the Senate last night. Walker won't waste much time before signing it.

Wisconsin State Senator Lena Taylor is, along with her Democratic colleagues, on the lam, having fled the state to stop Governor Scott Walker's union-busting idiot bill (introduced to fix a budget crisis he himself created) from coming to a vote. You may have known about the senatorial exodus because you read about it…

Are you worried about those airport security scans of your penis and vagina making it onto the Internet? First of all, don't flatter yourself. But just in case, the Senate voted 98-0 today in favor of an amendment "that would punish anyone who misuses images from full-body security scanners at airports with a $100,000…