Gawker
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elisabeth hasselbeck
Hasselbeck Not Leaving 'The View' Until She Adorns Her Living Room Wall With Four Bloody Scalps
Back when Rosie O'Donnell left The View, many industry watchers predicted the program would quickly return to its safe, easygoing roots (and that ratings would dive as a result). Oh, how they underestimated the Hasselbeck! The election year has provoked The View's resident Republican into a lather almost daily, whether she's obfuscating about Barack Obama or calling an unlikely moratorium on Sarah Palin discussion. In fact, things have gotten so heated lately that rampant speculation had Hasselbeck headed for Fox News, forcing her agent to issue a statement today: More » -
the panic of '08
Poorly-Timed Lehman Weddings In Times
Go figure: There were two Lehman Brothers-related weddings announced in Sunday's Times. The "for poorer" section of the vows must have rung brutally even before the company officially headed for bankruptcy, since the company was clearly in trouble before the weddings took place Saturday. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by sarrible: I was wondering if anyone else noticed the proliferation of Lehman weddings yesterday. And Susie Essman got married! Good for... 2 Responses | Other threads
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vows
Someone is Marrying Chris Kattan!
Chris Kattan, who played that apple-eating monkey-type thing on Saturday Night Live is marrying model Sunshine Tutt in Yosemite Valley, CA, today. "'Originally I was going to do something very special,' Kattan told People about the engagement. 'I tried to get Bono of U2 to serenade her. That didn't happen. Then I asked Justin Timberlake. No answer. After hundreds of phone calls and text messages, I finally ended up asking one of the members of the Hanson group. He didn't want to get involved.'"
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Comment by Icarustoo: I guess this means there's someone out there for Hal Sparks. more » | Other threads
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vows
Chaste Couple Always Within 15 Feet Of Each Other
Michael Roach is a naughty, naughty Buddhist monk. The former New Yorker sleeps with a woman, which is a big no-no among Tibetan Buddhists. But by "sleeps with," he says he literally just means "falls asleep next to" his, uh, partner, Christie McNally, a former NYU student and fellow teacher who lives with him in a yurt in Arizona. Roach claims the two are chaste, engaging only in an "intense hands-on physical relationship" not at all carnal. None of the other monks are buying this. The Dalai Lama's office actually denied Roach permission to teach in India. Of course, corrupt, selfish Gothamites will hardly judge the couple, who insist on always being within 15 feet of each other, any less harshly after they were profiled this morning in the Times Home & Garden section (WTF? For the yurt?). So let's take an Altarcations-style look at how disturbing this couple really is to those of us who believe in sex, material possessions and all those other wonderful things: More » -
altarcations
Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!
The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis judges the vows.
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By aswerdloffComment by whatahoot: Yeah, the insert about Brookie was in extremely poor taste. Isn't that a violation of HIPPA? Even though she died? more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Douglas O'Connor And Jeanne Conway Are Happier Than You
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the Sunday 'New York Times' don't have to be read. You can totally pass it by! Then you won't feel bad that you had Wheat Thins for dinner all alone last night and let your ex-boyfriend sleep over last week, you unmarriageable piece of mess!
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By aswerdloffComment by GirlCat: OK, Alexis, I know you're kinda young, but your editors aren't. Can someone explain why a couple featuring a mother named... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Victoria Lim And Peter Sheren Got Married Three Times
Do you believe in love? Perhaps you do! But you totally definitely believe in money. Because it's very hard to love when you have no money and you're hungry! The Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' is where money and love meet, and where our Intern Alexis finds that in the mix, someone always comes out the winner.
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Comment by citykids: Is she marrying him so she can remain in the U.S.? more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Samantha Gregory & Roberto Benabib Are High On Love
Great news! Did you know that the Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' exists to transform you on a lazy Sunday afternoon from Kathy Griffin to Cathy Guisewite? It's true! Studies show that reading what we used to call 'Vows' actually sets your internal feminism and self-esteem clocks back eight years. Anyhoo, put down that Ben & Jerry's, unloved fatty, and let's see who won the battle of the marriages this week!
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By aswerdloffComment by PRIsNotJournalism: there should be a category for extraneous, non-sensical job titles that are lengthy to sound haughty. +10 more » | Other threads
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press release of the day
"Men's Health, the largest men's lifestyle magazine brand, today announced a media partnership with The Knot, the #1 wedding website, to launch the 'Ultimate Proposal Boot Camp' plan. The program will help guide over half a million men planning to 'pop the question' during engagement season, running November through February." Hold up: There exists engagement season now? Ladies, start chewing your creme brulée extra carefully when you're in the romantic candlelit restaurant, cause there might be a ring in there! Related: does this mean that Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko is ready to quit tomcattin' around and resign himself to providing only his Rose McGowan-lookalike new girlfriend, Brit actress Melissa Milne, with subpar oral sex for all of eternity? Ah, romance!
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By Emily GouldComment by RandomHookup: Not only is there an engagement season, but the betting action on the fantasy league teams is pretty intense. more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Virginia Boyd And J. B. Lockhart IV Will Share Her Steamship Inheritance
"The concept of marriage must have been thought up by an unimaginative pig," Albert Einstein once said. Every week, Intern Alexis reads the Times' Weddings And Celebrations section to see who's still buying the concept, and, by extension, each other. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by ellewoods: "So that's what I need to become to be Warner's wife.""What? Mildly deformed??" more » | Other threads
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natural disasters
'Black Book' Editor's Hurricane Love Affair Ends In Wedding
Steve Garbarino, the sorta Jeff Daniels look-a-like editor in chief of Black Book magazine, met his new wife when on "a snowy night in March 2005, at Hudson Bar and Books, in Manhattan, [he] was holding court with friends and drinking a dark and stormy." Garbarino, says the Times, "made some ridiculous drolleries, told some tales, bragged a bit about the HBO [show]—which did not come to fruition." Really, this sort of thing works? On some women apparently. More »
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By Joshua SteinComment by cassandra: @joshuadavidstein1: That'll teach you to have ambition. more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Josiah Hornblower And Jocelyn Hunter Were 'Born Rich'
Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Times and clues us into which members of the elite class are pooling their resources. This week's column is a day late cause she was at a wedding over the weekend! Alanic. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by shockcorridor9: Okay first comment audition. I agree with the comment that nobody with a pile of inherited wealth is worth anything... more » | Other threads
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correction of the weekend
"A report on Oct. 24, 1988, about the marriage of Amy Levine and David Abrams, misstated where the bride received her undergraduate degree. She graduated from Brown University, not Boston University. Amy Abrams only recently called attention to the error." [NYT] -
altarcations
Seth Mnookin Gets Mnarried
Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section, seeing which notables have joined the ranks of the marrieds. Good luck to all these poor suckers; we're certain they will all be posting on messageboards about their issues with "DH" in no time. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by DonPardoCalrissian: Yeah but Sam Sheridan could kick all their asses. more » | Other threads
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you're all what you perceive
Is it incredibly romantic or sort of creepy that New Pornographer A.C. Newman's bride walked down the aisle to the Velvet Underground's 'I Found A Reason'? Maybe it's just sort of codependent. Maybe romance and codependence are inextricably linked? [NYM]
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By Emily GouldComment by Queen of the Passive Aggressives: Can't find a better man? more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Do-Gooding Lawyers Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon Will Save Us All
Every week, when the Times devotes a section to informing you that some people who are richer and smarter and just all around better than you are have found their soulmate lifepartners, Intern Alexis surveys the damage and tallies up the totals. Also, in case you were wondering? No, you'll never find anyone. Anyone good enough, at least. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by arserahmer: You guys have hit this dead on. A friend forwarded me the link because I dated Allison for a few... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Meghan O'Rourke And James Surowiecki Win Forever
Every week, Intern Alexis tallies up the points earned by couples vainglorious enough (or Times-employed enough! Awww!) to have little biographical blurbs about themselves in the Styles section. This week, Slate literary editor, Paris Review poetry editor and lauded poet Meghan O'Rourke and New Yorker staffer James Surowieki totally won. How could they not? You can all stop dating now! More »
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By Emily GouldComment by passthesalt: @VenusCloacina: Sharon Olds? SHARON OLDS? If there were any justice in the world, Sharon Olds would choke to... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Super WASPs Emily Johnston & Matthew Adler Are Half Jew
Every darn week, the New York Times Weddings and Celebrations section reminds you that you're either not nuptialed or not nuptialed well enough. So each week Intern Alexis helps us pay ironic or sincere tribute to the victors of the game of love! More » -
altarcations
Susan Amble and Michael Higgins Do Darien Gymnasts Proud
Each week, the New York Times' Weddings and Celebrations section records the funny ways in which rich people with advanced degrees meet and perpetuate their hegemonic control of our society. Intern Alexis is here to help sort the triscuits from the Carr's water crackers. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by jhudspacebolero: Oh, Lordy! I'm a wedding planner and I met this tard and her sour mom. The groom to... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Avery Gardiner And Edwin U Are The Pride Of New England
Every week, Intern Alexis analyzes the results of the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section to figure out who's winning the game of life. Hint: not you! More »
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By aswerdloffComment by DonPardoCalrissian: The homestead of the Gardiner's in Gardiner: http://www.dupontcas will admit I post this in raving jealousy as my cousin... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Olivia Cowley & Julian Wassenaar Are Scion-tologists
Each week, Intern Alexis tallies up the status indicators of all the couples who've found it necessary to shove their connubial bliss in our faces via the Times Weddings & Celebrations section, so that we can feel superior to them in some small way that we can trick ourselves into thinking is more valuable than material wealth. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by lovely nigerienne: +20 for not taking the last name Putzel. Ewwww. @GinaRomantica: I'm glad you think they're children. I got a... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Mazel Tov, Cathy Chavkin and Daniel Schmerin!
Each week, Intern Alexis tallies up the status indicators of all the couples who've found it necessary to shove their connubial bliss in our faces via the Times Weddings & Celebrations section, so that we can feel superior to them in some small way that we can trick ourselves into thinking is more valuable than material wealth. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by SurplusJ: No, Emily! It's not so good! I mean, the middle chunk is engaging and all, but the characters... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Eliza Harrington & Minor Myers III Seem Very Nice
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by Smirk: Ah, it's good to see Michael Myers' younger brother return for the latest installment of Halloween. more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Soogy Lee & Nathan Taft Are Old But Pedigreed
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by LAGirl: what?? no love for Jennifer Kohns and Gregory Rathe? no love for their Rabbi, who "alluded to their beginnings by... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Model Yourselves On Sara Galvan & Luke Bronin
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by hautedamn: Thatcher-Renshaw/Pistilli totally could have taken had the Times included this true fact - Them Thatchers came over on the Mayflower.... more » | Other threads
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ad hoc altarcations
Sweaty People in Love and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type. More » -
vows
Altarcations: Salima Vahabzadeh & Paul Sheppard
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by Constantine: Altercations is a weekly reminder of why my father always wished my sister and I had chosen Ivy League schools... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Victoria Potterton + Austin Zalkin
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by LAGirl: 'sailing instructor'?? but the Brazilian lover is always ALWAYS! a polo-playing international playboy i.e. Doris Duke + Porfirio Rubirosa: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porfirio_Rubirosa more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Rachel Leifer & Joshua Norman
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by ellagood: she only gets 3 points for being related to the man who wrote the theme song to Married...With Children? bullshit. more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Kathleen Walsh & John von Rosenberg
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by FatGingerTosser: I think that "Keith is a PhD candidate in marketing at Baruch College" deserves some negative points. more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Martha Flach & Austin Wilkie
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by lilly0915: In New York, the State Supreme Court is the lowest level court, so having a retired N.Y. Supreme Court Justice... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Patricia Haggerty & Brian Dodwell
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By aswerdloffComment by thechief_nyc: As they say down here in Buenos Aires: Yo creo que voy a vomitar more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Hanna Swacker and Jesse Kurnit
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by AshGrove: Questionable passions (revolving restaurants) -10 Both sharing the same questionable passion -25 http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/11/fashion/weddings/11VOWS.... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Stacey Harris And Daniel Maman
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By ChoireComment by Jadorezola: @unfun: agreed.. take like -3 points... that's like.. Catholic should there be extra points for poor people up in herr/... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Altarcations: Leah Popowich and Andrew Hohns
As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Every week, we will evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by bacon-yum: @pistolwhip: 25 and 27 is the ideal age for privileged Northeasterners to get married for the first time. That way... more » | Other threads
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altarcations
Internal Documents: Naming Our 'Vows' Column
Because it's a holiday, we're loopy, and a bit bored-anxious. Maybe a little lonely! Definitely cold. Those are the circumstances which lead us to now publishing what we like to think of as The Most Useless Internal Email Thread In The History Of Gawker, In Which We Learn Who Is Efficient And Who Is A Complete Fucktard. (Hint! It breaks along gender lines!) The emails concern the naming of the new 'Vows" rating column, which will debut this afternoon. More »
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By ChoireComment by Phyllis Nefler: Jack Vower ... because the brides are RUNNING OUT OF TIME!! more » | Other threads
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vows
More On The Wu-Nobay Vows: The Leprous Truth
We apologize for taking so long to bring you this Vows news, but we have to admit, we kind of thought this one was boring. Well, we did like the part about how Frances Wu joined an online dating site because, at almost-30, she was worried about being considered a "Christmas cake." (Now we have a new insult for the Sadshaws in our lives!) But other than that: bleh! Rommel Nobay, Frances Wu's intended, speaks a lot of languages and went to many fancy colleges! Mr. Nobay and Ms. Wu both like NPR and bagels! We just fell asleep! Oh, but wait . . . what's going on in this paragraph?As their dating progressed, Ms. Wu researched Mr. Nobay online and learned that in 1998 he sued Princeton, unsuccessfully, for defamation after the university notified medical schools he had applied to that his applications contained misrepresentations and altered his academic record. (In court, he admitted misstatements but says he still believes some of what Princeton presented was inaccurate.)
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By Emily GouldComment by mediahohoho: Why would someone admit to rolling a family of lepers for tuition money. I just don't get it. more » | Other threads
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atoosa rubenstein
Before They Were Sorta Famous: The 'Toos's Nups
After we reveled in deposed Seventeen E in C Atoosa Rubenstein's latest MySpace fabulosity-explosion, you expressed a desire to know much, much more about the 'Toos's background. We'll answer all your questions eventually, but first, we need to tackle the issue of how little Atoosa Behnegar became Big Momma Rubenstein. The answer can be found (as so many answers can) in the Times Vows column. This one is from September 6, 1998, and it details the day the 'Toos wed Tevas-wearing commodities trader Ari Rubenstein:LIKE a French tulip, Atoosa Behnegar is tall and wiry, with skin so white it seems powdered, and wild black curly hair. She is 26, the senior fashion editor at Cosmopolitan magazine and looks like a cross between a runway model, an ''Addams Family'' character and a Shakespearean maiden from ''A Midsummer Night's Dream.''
Photographic evidence is solicited so, so, so hard. And for those TimesSelectless souls among you, the full text of the column is after the jump — it's too good to miss. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by JupiterPluvius: Wow, what a great idea. Wherever did you get it? more » | Other threads
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self
Rodney Yee: Caught In Pants-Down Pose?
So we were all scarred forever over the weekend by images of too-happy Vows featured couple Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman's yogic lovemaking (yes, we said it: lovemaking), but we apparently missed the real story. Colleen, it turns out, isn't the first student who Rodney has chaturanga'd atop. Far from it, it fact: a 2002 lawsuit was brought against Yee by a fellow teacher at his California yoga studio, accusing him of "inappropriate behavior" with his students. A tipster points us to this 2004 Self article about Yee and the suit, in which that teacher, Susanne Bruder, maintained that Yee's student-fucking "represents an abuse of power and is unbecoming of a healer or a teacher....His refusal to accept that he needs help in this area and his attempts to blame the women involved puts more students at risk." Yee's response was classic:The reality is that most teachers fall in love with their students, but sex is such a small part of it . . . every relationship is unique and can't be judged . . . every once in a while, just like in therapy, there might be real chemistry between two people. It's a decent guideline, but you shouldn't be crucified for not following it.
Yup, just like in therapy! (Shudder). More »
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By Emily GouldComment by bizasizzalizzyizzo: I often find myself daydreaming of Rodney Yee in standing forward bend while I work on my proud warrior pose... more » | Other threads
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vows
Colleen Saidman and Rodney Yee: Na-nastay.
We were sick of Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman the from the moment we first heard of their illicit yoga love story in New York Magazine — (remember? "'[New agey blah blah],' Saidman says, sitting entwined with Yee on the floor of the shingled house they now share," etc, etc.) But we all must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve their Vows column this weekend. We mean, seriously:She became a devoted student of his and formed a close student-teacher relationship, which remained platonic for years. Then, in 2002 at a yoga conference in Nashville, Ms. Saidman and Mr. Yee found themselves sitting next to each other in a crowded hot tub after a day of twisting poses.
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By Emily GouldComment by raincoaster: fireboy, if they're both as flexy and sensual as they claim, they could each come in their own mouths a... more » | Other threads
vows
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Tue Jul 14
55 posts in the last 24 hours
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